05 December 2007

Chapter 27: Ein Licht, Das Nie Erlischt [A Light That Never Goes Out] - Rebekah.

Rebekah quietly walked into Wolfgang's room and closed the door. She had sat quietly until the silence was no longer unbearable in the waiting room, and she stood up, leaving Anneke to care for Johannes.

Memories of her boyfriend slumping over... coughing blood in the severity of his wounds... the image brought back the coward in her that once died. Amazing how one person could cause a heart to be joyful... cause a heart to be miserable...

"Wolfgang!" she cried, clasping his hands with one hand while trying to heal one of the new bullet wounds with her other hand. Some sense of emergency had caused her to attempt to get through to him, to fix whatever injuries had arisen. But something was wrong--terribly wrong.

"...Lilibeth, Annie... we've got a big problem" she said in a scared tone of voice, looking to her neighbor and good friend.

"What is it, Rekah?" Anneke asked with an alarmed face.

"I... it seems I can't heal Wolfgang's wounds" she answered. "My power's not working. Something's wrong."

"Oh God" her neighbor whispered as Rebekah pleaded for her boyfriend to stay alive and hang on.


Sitting down on the side of the bed, her gaze fixed to the empty space of the wall. How could anyone suffer what had happened and survive? To her, the concept of pain made absolutely no sense at all. So many thoughts raced through her head, and she wasn't sure if she could keep up with them. And who was she to attempt to stick to even one thought that tried to fly past her?

Her once-full heart now broken, Rebekah turned to face her dying boyfriend. She quietly whispered his name and, after drying some of her own tears away, undid his tie and buttons from his shirt. As she undid the buttons her eyes caught something she hadn't seen since the first night in Paris weeks if not months ago...

"Oh my God... the string... it's still there..." she whispered as she remembered the incident that caused the string to be sewn into the one she loved--

"This" she said as she strung the thread through the needle, "might hurt a little bit."

"It's nothing I'm not worried over, Rebekah" he replied with a weary smile.

With that she took a deep breath and put down the needle and thread for a moment, and poured some antiseptic over him. She closed her eyes, said a quick prayer, and took up the needle and thread again. Opening her eyes, she glanced at his hand, which, miraculously, had the bullet.

"How the hell..." she asked, but shook her head at last. Putting the kit on the table to the side, and placing the bullet in the first-aid pocket, she carefully removed his bloodstained coat, tie and shirt. Placing them at the foot of the bed, she picked up the needle and thread, took one more deep breath, and began to sew up the tear on his skin.

She was very careful in sewing up his wound. Her expertise in being a seamstress for patchwork and sewing up small emblems came as an experience in the concentration camp. She looked at his face, watching for any sign of pain or weakness, careful not to inflict pain unintentionally. A sense of deep worry overcame her and, while she kept a steady hand over the needle and thread, her eyes now fixed over the needle and thread, filling with tears.

"Ah--ah, ouch..." he finally cried out softly, a slight twinge of pain getting to him at last, and she blinked as tears finally spilt.

"Oh my God!!" she cried out, putting aside the needle and thread. "I'm very sorry, Wolfgang!" She reached for the box to hunt down the numbing ice, which she totally forgot about, but he grabbed her hand. She looked at him, blinking.

"...no, it's okay, Rebekah" he said.

"Yes but, you're injured on account of me!!" she answered. "The least I can do is try to fix your wounds!!"

"They will heal on their own. Not so quickly, but they will heal" he replied. "You can remove the needle and the rest of the string now."


She carefully ran her finger along the sewn pattern on his chest, circling around where the wound had once been. She closed her eyes and, leaning over, planted a tender kiss on the old wound, remembering the memory further, how she felt that, if she couldn't help him then she was of no use to him...

"Not really, Rebekah" he answered, pulling her closer to him so he could look her in the eyes. "Not at all."

Rebekah stared into his brown eyes, her own green eyes still drowning in tears. What was it she saw in his eyes, that in her own being she denied herself? Had she fallen for him while she tried to fix him? Did he fall for her because she was brave enough to step out of her comfort zone and actually try to fix whatever wounds he had? Or did his admiration over her begin when they met outside of the Trans-Europa? In any case, whatever was there between them, there was something that couldn't be denied at any instant.

Wolfgang tried to sit up, for despite the pain, he wanted more than anything to kiss her.

"You're not sitting up, damnit!!" she exclaimed. "Not with the wounds you have!!" But he only pulled her closer to him, wrapping her in his arms. While she had the hearted ambition for him, at this point, she was not amused!! But at last, she finally gave up and sighed, just looking at him.

"One thing you must understand about a mensch-maschine is," he said, "when they intend to do something, they do it."


She sobbed quietly against his chest, her own hands gripping his shirt. Why... why did he have to give up his own life so she could live, when there wasn't much meaning to life now that he was gone? She had lost the courage that kept her strong in the face of chaos; he had been the reason why she stood her ground, became the daring woman he fell for as he'd fallen for the cowardly woman-child she once was. But even worse than cowardice was what she felt as failure--failure to heal his injuries, to fix his wounds, to keep him alive.

"I could not save you" she whispered sadly, "I've failed you. I'm so sorry, Wolfgang... I'm so sorry."

She traced the finger along the stringed pattern again, and closed her eyes, another bittersweet memory she soon relived; she recalled the night back in Vienna...

"Rebekah!!"

She turned to see Wolfgang, now at a distance before her. "What happened!?" he asked as he ran to her. "You could've been killed!! What the hell possessed you to just disappear like that!?"

"When..." she said softly, "when you were talking with Andelina. And the girls. And I..."

The semi-human being's face softened from upset to worried. "You got jealous, didn't you?"


She remembered the look on his face, the fear in his own eyes. Fear of losing the one truly good thing in his life. She never meant to wander through the town in her own anger like that, but she couldn't think much else to do otherwise. She gained the courage to open her eyes and, as tears spilt on the string and flesh, shook her head softly. She never meant to cause him pain, yet twice she'd done so. Finally she lied down on the bed beside him, her body facing his, as she held him against her... the memory returning further...

He wrapped his arms around her waist and carried her to the nearest park at the outskirts of the city. With that he sat her down on a park bench as he knelt before her, wiping tears off her cheeks with his hands.

"Es ist gut, Schatz... it's alright, sweetheart" he whispered as he dried her tears and looked up at the pale, rosecheeked face and the bright green eyes that adorned them perfectly. "It's okay... my days of being Mr. Flirtatious have ended the moment I saw you courageously step out from behind your friend that day... at the station..." His train of thought died when he lowered her head to kiss her lips. All was well until he lost his balanced and fell back, pulling Rebekah with him. She fell on top of him blinking, but he didn't wince in pain as he wrapped her in his arms.

"You okay there, Wolfgang?" she asked. He nodded and, with a smile, kissed the tip of her nose. She wiggled her nose, giggling as the mensch-maschine laughed softly.

"I am so much in love with you, Rebekah," he whispered, "so much in love and... there isn't a damn thing to be done to change that."

"You mean this?" she asked, a curious smile crossing her face.

He nodded--"My life and my wires on it, sweetheart."


He'd truly given his life, his wires now worse for wear, entirely all for her. Up until he met her, he'd only thought of himself and his best friends, his fellow Roboter. But then she came into his life... and he miraculously changed for the better. Andelina knew this. Karl witnessed it firsthand. The youngest of the Quartet had been the brightest influence of his very life.

But her light of hope had dimmed as his life faded away before her.

"Wolfgang..." she whispered, "you were always kind to me... you looked out for me like no one else had. You inspired me to be strong, to never back down again.

"I never thought... I'd have to watch you die in front of me.

"So... the great Creator has decided to... to further my misery, to try to test my courage... by having to go through this world without you in my life. But I... I don't want to...

"I don't want to live in this world alone!

"I don't care if we're in Düsseldorf--what all does that matter to me anymore if... if you're not here with me..."

After sobbing to herself some more, she lied down on her back, clasping his hand in hers, and closed her eyes.

"If the Creator wants to take you from me" she mourned, "then don't forget the other half of your soul... please, take me with you..."

Patiently she waited for him to die, waited for her own death to pass beside him.



...but, that did not come to pass.

Morning had broken as Rebekah felt what was as if the reversal of the memory in Vienna, as her cheeks were adorned with kisses. But she wouldn't open her eyes at first to recall the memory, to see who it was on top of her with arms holding her fragile body gently--her eyes still welled up with tears. Yet as the tears fell over the sides of her face she slowly remembered the warmth of his own soul against the courage of her own heart, and she felt her own strength returning at a calm pace.

Carefully trailing a finger down his chest she felt something that made her eyes open wide--string, a pattern sewn on him so familiarly, on his chest. And immediately she glanced to the wound, then to the face of the one she loved.

"You're...!" she spoke, but the words died before she could say further.

But Wolfgang just smiled and, touching her girlfriend's tearstained face, kissed her forehead. "About time you woke up, Sweetheart" he whispered softly as he held her body tightly against his. "I was afraid you'd never open them again."

"But that was... because I thought you died," she explained inbetween her own tears as she hugged him to her. "I hoped to die myself, so I could stay with you. I didn't want to face the cruel world outside alone. I didn't have the strength or courage to do it anymore."

"And so you chose to rather die than to live without me?" he asked, a worried look now on his face.

"Even if I had my two neighbors and my wacky buddy to stand beside me... it would not be as it was when we left Lisbon" she answered. "Without you guys, it would just be as if we'd never met--just us four girls against the world, the guys in this town would simply mock us mercilessly and we'd try everything in our power to ignore them. But when they simply say that we girls are nothing more than a blind girl and her band of merry seeing sisters, it's... it's an insult that hurts me more than anything.

"I never wanted to fall in love with anyone because of that. The men in this town, they're cold. Heartless. They do not understand.

"You... were the first person... to ever understand me... for ME. Not what anyone else said about me, except for Andy of course. But still. I...

"I had no hope in living if I were to resume my life in the fear that you died and there was nothing I could do to fix that.

"And so, disregarding my three best friends, I simply longed to die. Here, beside you. I waited for you to die, I waited for myself to shut down."

Her boyfriend watched and, as tears filled his eyes, shook his head. "I... can't believe you'd want to do that!" he cried against her shoulder. "I swear, I never meant to cause you tears, to hurt you in any way. You know that, Sweetheart... you know that. You know I'd never want to leave you alone in your misery!"

After a moment of his own sharing of the tears, he looked her in the eyes.

"Rebekah Novalee..." he spoke again, "my heart, it's yours. It's been yours. And I'd rather shut myself down than to ever hurt you in any way whatsoever. I love you much more than you think I do.

"I fought with self-control back in Athens. I'm still fighting to keep it in check, because you inspired me with your honor and innocence, your courage and your self-respect."

He finally took her hands in his and kissed them tenderly, still smiling warmly at her. "One day, Sweetheart, I hope to call you my wife" he admitted. "It's going to happen. I just know it."

His girlfriend's eyes widened. "You... you actually want to marry me!?" she whispered, trying to register everything that was going on at the very moment. There he was, the man she loved, alive and well--being honest that he wanted to marry her!!

He nodded. "Don't forget what I told you on that train to Athens--that you'll always be the first in my heart" he said with a smile.

She smiled back, but only for a moment. "And Wolfgang," she spoke softly, "if you get injured again... I won't be able to heal you, will I?"

"How so, angel?" he asked, his face alarmed.

"When... after the fight ended... when you guys all collapsed due to your injuries, I couldn't use my power. It wasn't working on you guys. It worked on Lilibeth and Annie... but not on you."

"That was because we had to heal on our own" he explained. "We'd turned into full-spirited Mensch-Maschinen but, we had to face our own inner death... our own worst fears... only to come back and, along with it, rightly bear our hearts."

"--wait, heart--you have a heart now!!" she exclaimed with a big hug. "Can I hear its beating for a moment!?"

Wolfgang laughed as his girfriend grinned. But her composure quickly returned and she blinked. "And... I probably won't be able to heal you anymore, will I?"

"I don't know" he said, pulling out his pocket knife and making a little slash on his finger. "Want to test out the theory now?" he then asked, looking to her.

Rebekah took a deep breath and, holding his hand and pressing her lips carefully to the cut on his finger in, perhaps, the boldest move she'd ever made. Closing her eyes she carefully sucked some of the blood that had already spilt down his finger. Wolfgang simply stared in wonder as a light current of energy surged through his finger. After a few seconds more she kissed the now-healed cut, and he ran that finger along her mouth, stunned that she was able to heal him again.

"Didn't... taste like... sprocket oil or anything, I hope?" he asked, making a face.

"Nope" she answered, licking her lips for a second. "Tastes like blood to me." With that she shrugged and smiled. "But at least the theory's now a proven fact."

"Whew!" he replied. "Good. Now that the theory's been proven..."

"Yeahuh?" she asked, raising a brow.

"How about some breakfast?" he said with a smile.

But as she had missed being with him, the last thing she wanted to do was eat. Now that he was alive, she had other plans for the moment.

"Actually... I had other plans in mind" she answered.

"Oh?" he asked, puzzled. "How so? Like what?"

"Well... there's something else I'd rather do with my mouth... like taste something a bit sweeter... that DOESN'T taste like blood..." she said wistfully.

He raised a brow. "Oh really!?"

"Yeah. Really" she answered with a proud smile.

"Like what?"

"Like your sweet mouth!" she said amusingly as she pulled his mouth down to hers. A small smile hid within his own heart as he gladly kissed his beloved--one of surprise over how boldly she'd acted, as well as cheerfully. For him, she was all the more sweeter than he'd ever asked for, the love he felt he didn't deserve yet was rightfully granted.



*writer's note--memory excerpts for Paris and Vienna are from, respectively, Chapter 4 [A Misadventure in Paris] and Chapter 9 [An Early Evening Memory].*

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