Good gracious, it's good to be home!
Rebekah smiled to herself as the thought crossed her mind. A handful of days before, everyone had recovered fully in the Spacelab, the Mensch-Maschinen now with their own hearts, and Johannes with her sight. Later on that afternoon they were given the all-clear to go to their homes, and the guys opted to stay with their girlfriends than head to their oft-hectic headquarters they codenamed KlingKlang. For the youngest of the Quartet, however, it was more than just a humorous thrill to have Wolfgang staying over--she'd never had a guy stay over at her place before!
All had been quiet when the gang returned to their homes, but for the first few days it was a sad day for both her and Anneke, as they returned to find their parents had died in the hands of the enemy. Wolfgang hugged Rebekah tightly while she sobbed against his chest; Karl shed tears beside Anneke, then contacted the rest of the gang to notify them of what all went on.
"So... we have only us to carry on some legacy" Rebekah whispered quietly. Wolfgang just sighed and hugged her tightly. It wasn't fair that they should return home to find no family to welcome them, no close kin to greet them--it wasn't fair. In the back of his mind he felt as if he was the only family she had now, close to her as he was.
But now all was well, the gang fully recovered from returning home [or, in the guys' case, moving in with the Quartet], and for the first time in days Rebekah truly felt like all was simply well. Time for a morning shower! she thought to herself with a whimsical smile as she tiptoed to the shower quietly, as she usually did, so that she wouldn't wake Wolfgang up unnecessarily. However, that proved a wasteful effort as he silently opened one eye to catch her leaving the room.
...and just where does she think she's going? he thought to himself as he blinked his eyes open and fixed them to the door. But quickly it all came back to him as he could hear her singing before she turned the water on--
"Ein frohes Picknick heute, welche Freude!
Mit allen meinen Freunden--welche Freude!"
--sweet Mother of God! he thought to himself. The picnic's today!? ALREADY!? Surely the days hadn't passed by this quickly, yet alas! the gang had all planned a picnic two days before, to celebrate Fritz's birthday. And Andelina and her two best friends, Faith and Ingo, were going to visit from Vienna for the party!!
Wolfgang smacked himself in the forehead. "Damnit, Wolfgang!! How the hell could you forget Fritz's birthday, you dork!?" he scolded himself in a quiet whisper. With a sigh he sat up and looked over to the pillow where his girlfriend had slept. And then, another memory returned as he heard the shower running--
His eyes caught through the slightly open doors to both their room and the bathroom that she was busy preparing for the long day ahead. But the sight of her was what made his eyes widen in even more shock, and he buried his face in his pillow for a moment.
"Bloody hell, Wolfgang!!" he mentally scolded himself. "Reki. In a towel. And nothing freckin' else!?" This was quite more than enough torture for him.
He got up from the bed and started walking to the bathroom quietly as the thought crossed his memory again--that's right, she still owed him some time from Athens, and now that they were no longer in harm's way...
"Alright, I've already informed Lexi of the situation. He's got Fritz in good hands." Anneke grinned hanging up her cell phone; she called up Alessandro to let him know about the surprise picnic for the Trans-Europa conductor, and sighed in relief that the conductor had no idea what all would go on later on that night in the Spacelab's garden.
"...Lexi?" Johannes asked with a questioning look to her friend as they and Elizabeth talked for a while in Anneke's kitchen, with Ralf sitting beside Johannes, his eyes fixed to the newspaper. Karl was also with them, sitting on the counter, drinking a cup of hot cocoa and listening in on all the conversation.
Anneke giggled. "That's my nickname for Alessandro" she explained. "He loves it."
"Ohhh. Gotcha" the purple-eyed replied with a nod. She then smiled to her older sister. "What should I bring to the party?"
"I'd say you bring yourself" Elizabeth replied with a shrug. "I still have to teach you to cook sometime soon!"
"Don't teach her to cook--she'll burn the house down" Florian chided in sarcastically. He entered the kitchen with a grin to Elizabeth. But his sweetheart shook her head.
"How 'bout she burns you in the butt first, moron?" Ralf said to his best friend, as nonchalantly as can be. Anneke giggled after the comment.
"But she's still got a ways to go before Eliza attempts to even show her how to write love poetry, let alone cook!" Florian retorted.
Finally, Johannes spoke--"Eh um... Florian?"
"Yes, Johanne?" the flutist said, looking to her with a polite smile.
But she looked at him unamusingly, raising a brow. "Bite me, quirkface."
*PFFTT!!* Karl spit out his cocoa and blinked before glancing to the young dark-haired woman and her very first insult. Ralf lowered his paper to look at her, his eyebrows raised. Elizabeth had a surprised yet amused smile on her face and Anneke had to control her giggling. But Florian stood still, quiet, a stunned look on his face, which ended up having Ralf joining Anneke in trying to silence giggles.
"Listen, dear, dear Florian" Johannes spoke further, "keep in mind that I just got my sight, and I'm pretty excited about learning all there is to know about this charming world. Now if you want to go ahead and be a smart-aleck you can but, rest assured, I will gladly be the woman with the last laugh.
"Now, have I made myself clear?" she smiled politely at him.
Florian nodded hesitantly. "Y-yes ma'am!" he stammered, and quietly walked out the kitchen with his finger over his mouth. A couple of seconds later Karl finally bursted into laughter, with Anneke and Ralf unable to hide their giggling any longer. Elizabeth shook her head, laughing at what she had just witnessed.
"That, Johanne, was the best thing to come out of your mouth!" Karl laughed.
"Sure was better than what I had to say!" added Ralf.
"Now THAT is how you should insult the boys from back in the day!" Anneke cheered.
"And just how in the world did you learn to talk like that!?" Elizabeth asked with a chuckle.
"Simple" Johannes answered with a grin. "I learned it all from you."
Elizabeth shook her head. "Well then damn!" she laughed. "I think I taught you well!"
"By damn, I think you did!" Karl affirmed with a grin that matched Johannes' cheerful own.
Rebekah stepped into the shower, the warm water hitting her slightly shivering skin. One thing about home was, she didn't miss how cold it was. Since her childhood she always wore long-sleeves, never cared for any short-sleeved shirt or dress. For her, it was always cold, and she even wrapped herself in her blanket tightly at night. But a memory reminded of the one time she ever stood out of her comfort zone, a present from so far back yet worn not so long ago...
In her quiet demeanor she emerged out of the bathroom wearing her dark-blue night skirt and, which she never really wore, a blue sleeveless corset which her neighbors' mother had made for her birthday some years back. At first the youngest of the Quartet swore to herself she'd never wear something so daring, no matter how pretty it was. Yet the memory of her neighbors' mother provided enough reason for her to wear the corset. A lopsided smile crossed her face as she tried it on and saw her reflection in the mirror just moments before she exited the bathroom.
"Daaammmn, Reki-Nova!" she thought to herself, "that actually looks and fits and feels pretty damn good!!"
She grinned to herself at the nice momentary change in the weather, the change in attire. Self-conscious as she usually was from the faint scars that ran along her upper arms, she never let the thought cross her mind that one night in Athens. In fact, she had completely forgotten all about them. But around Wolfgang she had no reason anymore to worry herself about the scars of the battle that almost killed her close friend Anneke all those years ago; she felt beautiful around him, and it was through him that she learned how to truly accept herself for the bright, green-eyed, redhead angel that she truly was. He told her she was beautiful and, for a while at first she wasn't too sure to believe it, but it all changed that night in Vienna, and truly realized that he'd truly loved her. And then, for a moment, it felt as if all was lost...
She sobbed quietly against his chest, her own hands gripping his shirt. Why... why did he have to give up his own life so she could live, when there wasn't much meaning to life now that he was gone? She had lost the courage that kept her strong in the face of chaos; he had been the reason why she stood her ground, became the daring woman he fell for as he'd fallen for the cowardly woman-child she once was. But even worse than cowardice was what she felt as failure--failure to heal his injuries, to fix his wounds, to keep him alive.
"I could not save you" she whispered sadly, "I've failed you. I'm so sorry, Wolfgang... I'm so sorry."
He'd truly given his life, his wires now worse for wear, entirely all for her. Up until he met her, he'd only thought of himself and his best friends, his fellow Roboter. But then she came into his life... and he miraculously changed for the better. Andelina knew this. Karl witnessed it firsthand. The youngest of the Quartet had been the brightest influence of his very life.
But her light of hope had dimmed as his life faded away before her.
"Wolfgang..." she whispered, "you were always kind to me... you looked out for me like no one else had. You inspired me to be strong, to never back down again.
"I never thought... I'd have to watch you die in front of me.
"So... the great Creator has decided to... to further my misery, to try to test my courage... by having to go through this world without you in my life. But I... I don't want to...
"I don't want to live in this world alone!
"I don't care if we're in Düsseldorf--what all does that matter to me anymore if... if you're not here with me..."
After sobbing to herself some more, she lied down on her back, clasping his hand in hers, and closed her eyes.
"If the Creator wants to take you from me" she mourned, "then don't forget the other half of your soul... please, take me with you..."
Patiently she waited for him to die, waited for her own death to pass beside him.
She sighed with another smile as she recalled how he woke up, and how she realized he was alive and well. How he promised her he'd marry her. The thrilling promise of forever warmed her to the soul, even more so than the water that warmed her not-as-chilly flesh. She fought with the soap, scrubbing her body for a couple of minutes, and finally she washed her face. Shutting her eyes she stood under the shower and rinsed off the soap from her body before feeling her hand along the wall for the washcloth. Grabbing it she realized as she rubbed the water from her eyes that, wait a sec! that wasn't where the washcloth usually was!! Which meant that either something wasn't right or... that someone was here...
"You almost knocked the shampoo over, it would've hit your foot and that wouldn't be good now, would it?"
Rebekah quickly opened her eyes as she recognized the voice that spoke--
"WOLFGANG!? The hell are you doing here!?" she spoke in a hushed whisper. Their eyes met and as he touched her cheek with his hand, she quickly remembered a situation similar to this... not so long ago.
"...well, if my memory seems proper" Wolfgang answered, "we're not in harm's way anymore, are we?"
Rebekah took a deep breath and blinked for a moment--he was right. She'd told him that, perhaps, when they were back home and all was well. She'd begged him to be patient for her sake, and he'd gladly obliged. But now that they were back home, now that the Darkstrom was no more, he wasn't sure how much longer she'd have him waiting and, in the back of her mind, it was time enough she'd had him upholding patience. But the train of thought rightly derailed as Wolfgang quietly stepped in the shower and, holding her face in his hands, kissed her.
For a moment she could've sworn her cell phone was ringing, but for the moment it didn't matter as her boyfriend trailed kisses along her body. She'd felt this before, back in Athens, when she stepped out of her usual manner and surprised Wolfgang with her daring nature in the process. But this wasn't what she'd expected. Not while she was still in the shower, and certainly not while she had a picnic to prepare for!!
Yet, he kept stringing patient kisses along the scars of past fights that adorned her fragile body. How could anyone so delicate fight and bear scars like this? he thought to himself as he kissed one scar that ran across her abdomen, then looked up to catch her eyes in his.
"You... you fought when necessary, didn't you?" he asked.
"Yes" she said hesitantly. "Why?"
"You've got quite a bit of scars there, sweetheart" he answered, trailing a finger along one of her scars that ran along her upper arm.
"Yeah... I know" she sighed. "I had to. I couldn't simply stand by idly and watch my best friend and her older sister and Annie on their own. I may have been the nurse, but even Florence Nightingale took risks and took on challenges, didn't she?"
Standing up he took both of her hands in his. "Bad enough you fought, then you unexpectedly captured my heart" he said as he kissed her along her jaw. "In honesty, I never expected this. Never."
"Give me a break" she retorted with a smart smile and a raised eyebrow. "Whatever happened to those days of being the playboy?"
"I may have flirted shamelessly then" he admitted, "but you're different. You're special. You're... you. I can't figure out what else to say about it. The other girls back then, they may have been pretty, but I didn't expect to fall for a young lady reaching just up to my eyebrows, red hair and green eyes, bright and courageous in shades of blue that would make the sky rightly jealous.
"I didn't expect to fall in love with you, but I'm so damn glad I did."
A soft smile crossed her face just before he kissed her sweet mouth, and all the thoughts that ran through her mind--her past battles, his past flirtations--died as quickly as they had arrived. But she'd gladly die in this moment, she'd want nothing more than this, until--cautiously--he entered her. At that second she'd bit his lower lip a bit and he blinked his eyes open.
"Ouch, Reki!" he whispered. "What gives!?"
"Just that bit of pain" she admitted, biting her lower lip lightly.
"...ohhh, okay" he noted with a nod. "Yeah, you get the bit of pain and I have to restrain myself a little. Remember--I love you too much to ever want to hurt you."
She rolled her eyes. "Isn't that the fun of a first time or what?" she said sarcastically.
He shrugged. "I have better things to worry about."
"Like what?" she asked.
But he lightly nibbled her lower lip and, as he then kissed her warmly, she felt no further question needed to be said as she carefully, yet sweetly, welcomed all of him.
"...got no answer!" Anneke said, hanging up her cell phone. She sighed. "It's not like Becca to not answer her phone. She usually answers it within the first two rings!"
"Maybe she's finally discovered the joys of sleeping in?" asked Johannes with a giggle.
"Maybe!?" Ralf chimed in, his face one of surprise.
"Yeah, she's always the early riser, or so I've been told" she answered. "She never sleeps in, even on Saturdays!"
"What happens on Saturday?" Ralf asked.
"It's usually our sleep-in day!" she replied with a grin. "That's tomorrow!" Ralf grinned back, excited about sleeping in for the first time in quite a while.
But Elizabeth felt a quiet warmth, in her own heart, something familiar, yet she realized also what all went on. She'd felt that same warmth when Anneke and Karl were together that one night. She'd felt that on her own when she was with Florian. Quickly she looked to Anneke and pulled her aside for a moment.
"No... maybe she...!" she told her best friend quietly, biting her lower lip to silence herself.
"...no way, not... not Becca!?" the practical jokester of the Quartet whispered in an effort to hide her shock and silence any further giggles.
"It's the only strangely warm feeling I know of in my heart, Anophelia" Elizabeth whispered back. "I'd felt it when you were with Karl. I'd felt it when I was with Florian. And that was back in the Spacelab."
"...so the youngest has had her maidenhead breached then?" Anneke asked in a hushed whisper, an amused smile on her face.
Elizabeth nodded. And the two shared a secret, knowing smile.
Silence had fallen between them with the exception of the shower. Two souls had gladly, finally, merged into one; two anxious bodies sought and found their worth-waited-for release. Wolfgang in his exhaustion fell to his knees, resting his head against her lightly-scarred abdomen. Never had he expected to make love to anyone, yet this was perhaps the most unexpected yet thrilling moment he'd waited for, and rightly so. He'd truly loved Rebekah, and had been patient with her until, at long last, he gladly gave all of himself to her.
Rebekah miraculously stood against the wall of the shower, where he'd pinned her as he loved her with all he had. She closed her eyes for a moment, letting everything sink in, every kiss and every touch that went on. She then bit her lower lip recalling that moment they'd found each other's release, their whispered names drowning in each other's kisses--it felt so strange yet, so wonderful. She never imagined, never thought, that this could happen to her. But there they were, still in her shower, in each other's arms.
Finally she was overwhelmed and slumped to her knees as the aftershocks set in. Wolfgang caught her in his arms and held her to him.
"It's alright, sweetheart" he whispered softly in her ear, "I'm here. You're safe with me."
"I know" she said with a warm smile. "I know." Then, after a moment more she held his face in her hands and looked him in the eye. "You know we have a picnic we should be at later, right?"
He nodded.
"Alright," she spoke again. "Just making sure. I still have to help with the cake and set-up later on. Just that... I'm not wanting to go there looking like something happened in here... between us... y'know?" She gave a light, lopsided smile.
All her life she never expected what happened in her shower to happen, but as he shut off the shower and helped dry her off with a towel she'd realized that, this was no dream. That situations like this were meant to happen to cowards and playboys that could rightly love each other no matter what the odds were. They'd faced the odds, they'd overcome the odds. Their battle against society was gladly won. And they'd found each other, different as they were, perfect for each other.
"Trust me, Reki love" he said, "they'll never know what all went on in here." He smiled and carried her back to her bedroom, where he laid her down on the bed and lied down on top of her, and for the first time in Rebekah's life, she didn't feel the chill of her home--all she could feel was a warmth that overtook her entire soul, that same warmth that overtook all of Wolfgang. Truly, this had to be what true, unexpected bliss felt like; and it was well worth the wait, a patience perfectly granted!
"I love you, Reki" he whispered as he looked her in the eye.
"Love ya too, Wolfgang" she whispered back with a smile.
Gently they held each other as he kissed her on the mouth, then trailed kisses along her neck and a wound on her shoulder blade; all she could do was smile, plant kisses along his shoulder, and simply bask in the love that consumed each other whole.
*writer's note--memory excerpts for athens and the spacelab are from, respectively, Chapter 24 [Temptation] and Chapter 27 [A Light That Never Goes Out].*
26 December 2007
13 December 2007
Chapter 32: Nicht mehr Vorhang. [No Longer Blind.]
The morning had been well-spent for Ralf and Johannes as they stood at the window, the purple-eyed child once blind now looking towards her hometown, her beloved Mensch-Maschine behind her with his arms around her. The two smiled as their eyes glanced over the busy streets outside their window, as Fritz and Alessandro ran out of the Spacelab's doors and through the gates to capture the day ahead of them.
As life began to unfold in Düsseldorf, Johannes closed her eyes, letting the memory sink into her soul--a while ago Ralf had kissed her until they were dizzy from lack of air and their senses rendered numb. But what sealed the memory even more were the words he said, who he was to her,
"Meine liebe Prinzessin... my dear, sweet Princess..."
A content grin crossed her bright face as she opened her eyes to catch the city glowing in sunlight. She'd never seen a city so full of life before, and it was only a matter of time before she and Ralf would join in the joyful outside world. But for the moment, it was only her and her beloved, happy in each other's company.
"Elibeth, you look like you're half asleep!!"
"Yeah, so do you, Annika."
Inside the Spacelab's meeting room, Elizabeth and Anneke laughed in conversation as Florian, Karl and Wolfgang talked amongst themselves. Rebekah helped Professor Henning in checking up on the healing status of the Maschinen and she smiled in the thought of the guys having healed for the most part. But all became silent when two familiar voices were heard in the hallway, heading for the room.
"Okay, so this is the hallway..."
"Yep, and we're about to approach the meeting room, straight ahead."
"Alright, that room we're about to enter is the meeting room."
"That's it, princess."
All seven turned their heads to the door to look at Johannes enter the meeting room without hesitation, followed by Ralf. She smiled walking into the room, and went to the nearest empty chair at the table.
"And this...?" she asked, looking to Ralf, who nodded but once.
"That's a chair" he explained.
"A chair!" she noted. "I sit in a chair!" And with a proud grin she sat down on the chair.
"Correct, Johanna" Ralf smiled with glee. "And do you remember what that is over there?" he asked, pointing to the window.
Johannes nodded. "That is also a window, Ralf?" she said, curious.
"Yep" he nodded. "That's also a window."
"Yay!" she cheered. He simply smiled at her in adoration.
"And how many fingers am I holding up!?" Karl asked, holding up a hand with four fingers.
The young woman blinked and counted for a moment. "Ein... zwei, drei... vier!" she counted with a bright, cheerful grin. "Four fingers!!"
Elizabeth and everyone--except for Ralf, because he already knew--stared in wonder at what they could only call a miracle.
"Is that Karl, Ralf?" Johannes asked, pointing to Karl, who smiled in joyful affirmation of what was to be the best treat about returning home.
"Yes, that's Karl" her beloved explained. "Can you figure out who else is everyone here in the room?"
The young woman blinked and, taking a look around, looked to Rebekah. But the youngest of the Quartet looked with a glowing smile and spoke only a sentence:
"You... you can see us, can't you, Joseraph?"
Johannes grinned. "You are Rebekah!" she whispered enthusiastically. The redhead nodded, tears welling in her eyes. The purple-eyed woman stood up and carefully walked to Florian, who gave her his hands.
"This is familiar, is it not?" he asked smiling.
She closed her eyes, remembering the train ride to Athens, and nodded smiling. "Yes!" she answered, opening her eyes. "You must be Florian!" But he said not another word as he hugged her. Her eyes then met the pale green eyes of her older sister.
"Jo... Johanne" Elizabeth whispered, tears falling down her cheeks.
"...meine geliebte ältere Schwester" Johannes whispered to her, tears falling from her own eyes; "mein Elizabeth."
Elizabeth immediately knew--the only person to ever address her as her dear older sister had to be Johannes. But the younger used to address her as that when she cried in the elder's arms. Now... there was only joy, that the younger was blessed with sight. With that the elder sister went to her younger and hugged her tightly.
"How sweeter the sight... that you've been blessed to see!" Elizabeth whispered as she smiled admirably into her younger sister's eyes.
"So I'm guessing you're recognizing voices and matching them to everyone?" Wolfgang asked with a grin.
Johannes nodded with a smile to him. "I'm trying to remember... we haven't talked a lot, have we?"
"Yeah, sorry about that, Joey" he said apologetically.
She giggled. "You must be Wolfgang then!!"
"How the heck!?" he laughed.
"Because you're the only person I know of that calls me Joey!" she explained with a grin.
"Damn... busted" laughed Karl watching the scene. But Wolfgang laughed with his best friend--Karl was right. But, it was a good humor for everyone, because many a miracle had passed within the first half of the new day.
"Well surprise, I'm not gonna kill you because your eyes are my favorite color!" a familiar voice chimed in. Johannes turned her head to look at a grinning Anneke, who had her arms open to hug her best friend's little sister that they all loved so dearly.
Johannes smiled and, letting go of her sister, walked to hug Anneke tightly. "Annika!" she laughed as they hugged and cried. "I can see you, all of you, Annika...!"
"Well I'll be supershorted!" Henning laughed as he watched all the events unfold in the meeting room. "The Robots have their hearts, Miss Johannes is no longer blind. Miracles abound! What sweeter way to return home than to have this all occur?" With that he stood up and added to the hug.
Then, one by one, starting with Ralf, they all joined in the hug until Johannes was surrounded by people she loved, they who cared about her because they knew she couldn't live without them. For a moment her eyes locked with those of everyone, one at a time. Finally, she whispered as she relished in the hug, "This is what hope does to all of us. This is what love allows for all of us!"
All was in silence as Fritz and Alessandro returned and entered the meeting room. Their eyes watching the group hug, smiles were on both of their faces. Then, with a nod to each other, they added to the hug, with little Alessandro scooting in the center to hug Johannes.
"Noi tutto l'amore voi, Signorina Johannes" the orphan whispered, a smile to catch Johannes' cheerful face as he hugged her. "We all love you--very, very much!"
As life began to unfold in Düsseldorf, Johannes closed her eyes, letting the memory sink into her soul--a while ago Ralf had kissed her until they were dizzy from lack of air and their senses rendered numb. But what sealed the memory even more were the words he said, who he was to her,
"Meine liebe Prinzessin... my dear, sweet Princess..."
A content grin crossed her bright face as she opened her eyes to catch the city glowing in sunlight. She'd never seen a city so full of life before, and it was only a matter of time before she and Ralf would join in the joyful outside world. But for the moment, it was only her and her beloved, happy in each other's company.
"Elibeth, you look like you're half asleep!!"
"Yeah, so do you, Annika."
Inside the Spacelab's meeting room, Elizabeth and Anneke laughed in conversation as Florian, Karl and Wolfgang talked amongst themselves. Rebekah helped Professor Henning in checking up on the healing status of the Maschinen and she smiled in the thought of the guys having healed for the most part. But all became silent when two familiar voices were heard in the hallway, heading for the room.
"Okay, so this is the hallway..."
"Yep, and we're about to approach the meeting room, straight ahead."
"Alright, that room we're about to enter is the meeting room."
"That's it, princess."
All seven turned their heads to the door to look at Johannes enter the meeting room without hesitation, followed by Ralf. She smiled walking into the room, and went to the nearest empty chair at the table.
"And this...?" she asked, looking to Ralf, who nodded but once.
"That's a chair" he explained.
"A chair!" she noted. "I sit in a chair!" And with a proud grin she sat down on the chair.
"Correct, Johanna" Ralf smiled with glee. "And do you remember what that is over there?" he asked, pointing to the window.
Johannes nodded. "That is also a window, Ralf?" she said, curious.
"Yep" he nodded. "That's also a window."
"Yay!" she cheered. He simply smiled at her in adoration.
"And how many fingers am I holding up!?" Karl asked, holding up a hand with four fingers.
The young woman blinked and counted for a moment. "Ein... zwei, drei... vier!" she counted with a bright, cheerful grin. "Four fingers!!"
Elizabeth and everyone--except for Ralf, because he already knew--stared in wonder at what they could only call a miracle.
"Is that Karl, Ralf?" Johannes asked, pointing to Karl, who smiled in joyful affirmation of what was to be the best treat about returning home.
"Yes, that's Karl" her beloved explained. "Can you figure out who else is everyone here in the room?"
The young woman blinked and, taking a look around, looked to Rebekah. But the youngest of the Quartet looked with a glowing smile and spoke only a sentence:
"You... you can see us, can't you, Joseraph?"
Johannes grinned. "You are Rebekah!" she whispered enthusiastically. The redhead nodded, tears welling in her eyes. The purple-eyed woman stood up and carefully walked to Florian, who gave her his hands.
"This is familiar, is it not?" he asked smiling.
She closed her eyes, remembering the train ride to Athens, and nodded smiling. "Yes!" she answered, opening her eyes. "You must be Florian!" But he said not another word as he hugged her. Her eyes then met the pale green eyes of her older sister.
"Jo... Johanne" Elizabeth whispered, tears falling down her cheeks.
"...meine geliebte ältere Schwester" Johannes whispered to her, tears falling from her own eyes; "mein Elizabeth."
Elizabeth immediately knew--the only person to ever address her as her dear older sister had to be Johannes. But the younger used to address her as that when she cried in the elder's arms. Now... there was only joy, that the younger was blessed with sight. With that the elder sister went to her younger and hugged her tightly.
"How sweeter the sight... that you've been blessed to see!" Elizabeth whispered as she smiled admirably into her younger sister's eyes.
"So I'm guessing you're recognizing voices and matching them to everyone?" Wolfgang asked with a grin.
Johannes nodded with a smile to him. "I'm trying to remember... we haven't talked a lot, have we?"
"Yeah, sorry about that, Joey" he said apologetically.
She giggled. "You must be Wolfgang then!!"
"How the heck!?" he laughed.
"Because you're the only person I know of that calls me Joey!" she explained with a grin.
"Damn... busted" laughed Karl watching the scene. But Wolfgang laughed with his best friend--Karl was right. But, it was a good humor for everyone, because many a miracle had passed within the first half of the new day.
"Well surprise, I'm not gonna kill you because your eyes are my favorite color!" a familiar voice chimed in. Johannes turned her head to look at a grinning Anneke, who had her arms open to hug her best friend's little sister that they all loved so dearly.
Johannes smiled and, letting go of her sister, walked to hug Anneke tightly. "Annika!" she laughed as they hugged and cried. "I can see you, all of you, Annika...!"
"Well I'll be supershorted!" Henning laughed as he watched all the events unfold in the meeting room. "The Robots have their hearts, Miss Johannes is no longer blind. Miracles abound! What sweeter way to return home than to have this all occur?" With that he stood up and added to the hug.
Then, one by one, starting with Ralf, they all joined in the hug until Johannes was surrounded by people she loved, they who cared about her because they knew she couldn't live without them. For a moment her eyes locked with those of everyone, one at a time. Finally, she whispered as she relished in the hug, "This is what hope does to all of us. This is what love allows for all of us!"
All was in silence as Fritz and Alessandro returned and entered the meeting room. Their eyes watching the group hug, smiles were on both of their faces. Then, with a nod to each other, they added to the hug, with little Alessandro scooting in the center to hug Johannes.
"Noi tutto l'amore voi, Signorina Johannes" the orphan whispered, a smile to catch Johannes' cheerful face as he hugged her. "We all love you--very, very much!"
12 December 2007
Chapter 31: Erste Liebe, Letzte Liebe. [First Love, Last Love.]
Elizabeth blinked her eyes a bit, wrapped tightly in Florian's arms, as the sun shone in the room later on that morning. The sun had finally risen, but she wasn't sure she wanted to fully get up and deal with the world yet--not after all had happened between them. Later on that morning she'd be concerned over her sister's state of being, as well as those of Anneke and Rebekah; with her beloved alive and well she began to hope against hope that, perhaps, the other Mensch-Maschinen were alive and well, basking in the love of their dear companions. But for the moment, it was to be the last thing on her mind as she began to replay in her mind a newly fresh memory, only a while after she'd fallen asleep in his arms the first time around.
She was still in some sense of disbelief at first when she woke up a few hours ago to look at him, who was still asleep at the time.
Turning to face him she remembered what had been said earlier that morning, only a short while past midnight, how he promised her he'd never leave her alone. A small smile broke on her face as she ran her finger along his cheek--he'd looked so peaceful sleeping, without a care in the world. She became half-tempted to kiss him, but the thought quickly perished as she closed her eyes again. Then, seconds later she opened them again and, realizing that the best course of action was to never waste a second with him, gave in to her minor temptation and kissed him on the lips--but it wasn't the usual short-and-simple kiss this time. Quickly he blinked his eyes open and smiled in the kiss a bit, a tiny bit amused that she'd stepped out of her comfort zone again. But he closed his eyes and held her in his arms while she held his face in her hands--it felt so wonderful just to be in his arms, to kiss his lips again.
He attempted to break the kiss, to ask her what in her right mind she was thinking to kiss him this sweetly, and succeeded in the first of the two. She opened her eyes and smiled a bit, their faces so close they could've touched nose-against-nose.
"What... what rightly possessed you to kiss me... like that?" he asked, blinking as they sat up and faced each other. His curiosity was revived at an alarming rate, but it wasn't a simple curiosity he once had about her since the beginning--there was something stronger about his curiosity, and by damn he had every right to question almost everything he'd once knew, once thought about her.
But she simply smiled and replied softly, "Just... that simple reminder to never take anything for granted."
She sat up and, hugging her knees to her chest, looked out the window at the vibrant city outside. Home sweet home she thought with a warm smile. She hadn't seen home in over three years, and now she was home. She was back in beloved Düsseldorf, with her sister and their best friends, with the ones they truly loved, and with the one she herself loved selflessly.
Closing her eyes for another moment she dwelled on the memory of a few hours ago, her forehead now resting against her knees as the morning sun slowly made its path beyond Düsseldorf's horizon...
Florian shook his head gently, amazed at the honesty of her answer. One thing he knew about her was, she was brutally honest in everything she said, everything she did. That was one thing about her that would never change.
"What is it, Florian?" Elizabeth asked in a hushed whisper, but she dared not say another word when he ran his thumb along her lower lip. She lowered her eyes to the thumb for a second, then met his curious but longing eyes again. Her simple courage revived, and keeping up in doing what must be dared, she lightly bit the flesh at his thumb.
He kept his silence as she bit his thumb, but the torture was enough for him to snap back his thumb from her. She gave him a questioning look, her pale green eyes still fixed upon him. But he gave no answer as he leaned over and, locking hands with hers, kissed her sweetly on the mouth, nibbling gently on her lower lip.
"You've no idea... just how much... I've really missed you," Elizabeth whispered inbetween kisses as her fingers tangled against his tie and blouse buttons. But Florian knew in his heart how much she'd missed him as his fingers fought her coatbuttons.
She sighed, halfway drowning in the memory. Lifting up her head she glanced to the clothes strewn in a neat pile on the floor beside the bed and chuckled quietly. Who knew--who in their right mind knew!--that everything that had happened since they'd met in Lisbon would lead right up to this? For certain, she had no idea this would happen, and she was sure that the man she loved would gladly agree with her on the very thought.
In her younger years she swore she'd never fall in love, that she'd focus her attention towards the freedom of Eastern Europe, her sister and two best friends, the safety of her own life. Never did she dream of falling in love... never did she dream of meeting Florian.
Despite this, in all her recollections and past wishful thinking, the bold Captain of the Quartet smiled to herself again as she rested her head, chin to knees, eyes fixed to the window and the glowing world outside the Spacelab's walls. She sighed thoughtfully as her thoughts returned to the memory she was, last she recalled, drowning in...
"I already know, Eliza... I already know" Florian whispered back as their clothes quickly were put aside and the line between common sense and uncommon behavior blurred. Neither he nor Elizabeth could think straight yet, despite whatever could be going on outside their room, nothing else mattered at the moment. She shut her eyes and held him tightly, her senses in overdrive and planting kisses along the shoulder where he'd suffered both of his bullet wounds that Rebekah healed. If even Johannes were to have attempted to wander about and find Ralf, that wouldn't have kept her older sister from losing herself in the moment she had found herself in.
Her eyes reopened as he entered her and, for a moment, she was still. Perhaps, a bit speechless as well. Sure, she'd think that the first time would hurt, except it didn't quite hurt as much as she'd thought.
"...you okay, Eliza?" Florian asked, blinking as his eyes shifted to her and he kept still.
She nodded once, a quick one. "Yep" she answered. "I'm alright."
"Any pain?" he asked, biting his lower lip a bit.
"No pain" she replied.
One careful thrust and she winced a tiny bit--"Ouch!" she whispered and he stopped again; quickly he glanced to her face, still holding her to him. Did she actually feel any pain, try as he might to make this as painless as possible?
"...on second thought, just a little" she admitted with an embarrassed face. Their eyes locked for a moment, and a second later she broke into a grin. Then and there the two broke into a fit of giggles, holding each other tightly.
"You sure know how to say you're in pain" Florian laughed, kissing her shoulder.
"Well, it was either that or keep quiet and stay too serious for our own good!" Elizabeth replied in a hushed whisper, kissing his ear.
He gently lied her back down on the bed, not leaving her for a second, and hugged her tightly with a giggle. She turned her head to smile at him but her lips met his, and at that minute their giggling died down as their lips locked again.
Her eyes fixed to the necklace with her parents' wedding rings on it, as it had spilt out of one of her coat-pockets. The first thing she did, the day her parents were killed, was to remove their wedding rings. The night before the funeral she strung the three rings along a shotbead chain she rarely wore. The next morning she wore the rings to the funeral, but she always wore them under her coat.
Closing her eyes she continued to reminisce--a warm smile as she recalled to mind how wonderful, how strange yet... right... it all came together...
A calm silence overcame the room as the two made love, their lips lost in a long and bittersweet kiss. The outside world would have no clue, and they'd be damned if their friends ever overheard what had gone on in this very room. God forbid Johannes should accidentally stumble in on them but, as her intuition was in check she knew than to stray for whatever--whoever--it was she'd look for... which in this case would be Ralf.
Elizabeth however held Florian's face in her hands gently as she kissed him as willingly as she gave all of herself to him. Occassionally she'd open one eye to fix to the door in case of anything, but it was the last thing she was concerned about. All that mattered to her was the one person she loved more than anyone else.
But as minutes silently passed in untold bliss, their bodies sought and found their release, their souls drowning in each other, thoughts ran through each others mind. The lovers could hear their own hearts pounding in their heads, but they held each other gently, somewhere lost in their morning bliss. All the while their eyes were to each other, amused but worn-out half-smiles on their faces as they caught their breaths.
"...so... any pain, Eliza?" Florian asked inbetween catching breaths.
"...Florian... you smartass" Elizabeth retorted with a chuckle.
She giggled to herself at the memory as she lied back down on the bed with a sigh. Turning her head to look at her beloved she smiled, wondering how she'd come this far. She couldn't imagine life without him now--they were two equal halves to one soul. When the sweat turned to cold and all was said and done, they'd become so much more alike than when they'd first met all those months ago.
Florian finally opened one eye and smiled. "So, how'd you sleep?" he asked.
Elizabeth sighed happily. "Quite nicely, thank you very much."
"Any pain?" he asked with a grin.
She shook her head. "Florian" she replied, "I swear you're lucky I'm in a good mood!"
"Well then" he said as he pulled her into his arms, "shall I take advantage of said good mood?"
Elizabeth was beside herself--did the idea of making love again pass through Florian's mind!? Surely he's lost his mind! she thought to herself, but the thought was pushed aside when he kissed her with resolve--his resolve to always be there for her when she needed him, no matter what. After he broke the kiss she smiled at him warmly.
"Florian..." she said shaking her head, "what the hell am I ever going to do with you?"
But he smiled and, lying on top of her, held her hands in his. She raised a brow, her face fixed in a humble, amused half-smile.
"Simple, mein Liebling," he answered. "Consider me crazy but love me anyways."
Giving up the fight then and there, she chuckled. "Well, could you do me a favor, crazy little Roboter of mine?" she asked.
"For you, Eliza, anything."
She touched her nose to his for a moment and smiled. "Shut up and kiss me already."
Florian raised both eyebrows and, with a grin, replied, "Gladly!" Pushing her head back on the pillow he kissed her on the mouth, which itself still wore the smile since she relived the memory. But Elizabeth kept to herself, in her heart, that warm memory of her first time; her heart felt its sweetness. She'd never forget it, and rightly so--he was, to her, her first time, her last crush, her only love.
She was still in some sense of disbelief at first when she woke up a few hours ago to look at him, who was still asleep at the time.
Turning to face him she remembered what had been said earlier that morning, only a short while past midnight, how he promised her he'd never leave her alone. A small smile broke on her face as she ran her finger along his cheek--he'd looked so peaceful sleeping, without a care in the world. She became half-tempted to kiss him, but the thought quickly perished as she closed her eyes again. Then, seconds later she opened them again and, realizing that the best course of action was to never waste a second with him, gave in to her minor temptation and kissed him on the lips--but it wasn't the usual short-and-simple kiss this time. Quickly he blinked his eyes open and smiled in the kiss a bit, a tiny bit amused that she'd stepped out of her comfort zone again. But he closed his eyes and held her in his arms while she held his face in her hands--it felt so wonderful just to be in his arms, to kiss his lips again.
He attempted to break the kiss, to ask her what in her right mind she was thinking to kiss him this sweetly, and succeeded in the first of the two. She opened her eyes and smiled a bit, their faces so close they could've touched nose-against-nose.
"What... what rightly possessed you to kiss me... like that?" he asked, blinking as they sat up and faced each other. His curiosity was revived at an alarming rate, but it wasn't a simple curiosity he once had about her since the beginning--there was something stronger about his curiosity, and by damn he had every right to question almost everything he'd once knew, once thought about her.
But she simply smiled and replied softly, "Just... that simple reminder to never take anything for granted."
She sat up and, hugging her knees to her chest, looked out the window at the vibrant city outside. Home sweet home she thought with a warm smile. She hadn't seen home in over three years, and now she was home. She was back in beloved Düsseldorf, with her sister and their best friends, with the ones they truly loved, and with the one she herself loved selflessly.
Closing her eyes for another moment she dwelled on the memory of a few hours ago, her forehead now resting against her knees as the morning sun slowly made its path beyond Düsseldorf's horizon...
Florian shook his head gently, amazed at the honesty of her answer. One thing he knew about her was, she was brutally honest in everything she said, everything she did. That was one thing about her that would never change.
"What is it, Florian?" Elizabeth asked in a hushed whisper, but she dared not say another word when he ran his thumb along her lower lip. She lowered her eyes to the thumb for a second, then met his curious but longing eyes again. Her simple courage revived, and keeping up in doing what must be dared, she lightly bit the flesh at his thumb.
He kept his silence as she bit his thumb, but the torture was enough for him to snap back his thumb from her. She gave him a questioning look, her pale green eyes still fixed upon him. But he gave no answer as he leaned over and, locking hands with hers, kissed her sweetly on the mouth, nibbling gently on her lower lip.
"You've no idea... just how much... I've really missed you," Elizabeth whispered inbetween kisses as her fingers tangled against his tie and blouse buttons. But Florian knew in his heart how much she'd missed him as his fingers fought her coatbuttons.
She sighed, halfway drowning in the memory. Lifting up her head she glanced to the clothes strewn in a neat pile on the floor beside the bed and chuckled quietly. Who knew--who in their right mind knew!--that everything that had happened since they'd met in Lisbon would lead right up to this? For certain, she had no idea this would happen, and she was sure that the man she loved would gladly agree with her on the very thought.
In her younger years she swore she'd never fall in love, that she'd focus her attention towards the freedom of Eastern Europe, her sister and two best friends, the safety of her own life. Never did she dream of falling in love... never did she dream of meeting Florian.
Despite this, in all her recollections and past wishful thinking, the bold Captain of the Quartet smiled to herself again as she rested her head, chin to knees, eyes fixed to the window and the glowing world outside the Spacelab's walls. She sighed thoughtfully as her thoughts returned to the memory she was, last she recalled, drowning in...
"I already know, Eliza... I already know" Florian whispered back as their clothes quickly were put aside and the line between common sense and uncommon behavior blurred. Neither he nor Elizabeth could think straight yet, despite whatever could be going on outside their room, nothing else mattered at the moment. She shut her eyes and held him tightly, her senses in overdrive and planting kisses along the shoulder where he'd suffered both of his bullet wounds that Rebekah healed. If even Johannes were to have attempted to wander about and find Ralf, that wouldn't have kept her older sister from losing herself in the moment she had found herself in.
Her eyes reopened as he entered her and, for a moment, she was still. Perhaps, a bit speechless as well. Sure, she'd think that the first time would hurt, except it didn't quite hurt as much as she'd thought.
"...you okay, Eliza?" Florian asked, blinking as his eyes shifted to her and he kept still.
She nodded once, a quick one. "Yep" she answered. "I'm alright."
"Any pain?" he asked, biting his lower lip a bit.
"No pain" she replied.
One careful thrust and she winced a tiny bit--"Ouch!" she whispered and he stopped again; quickly he glanced to her face, still holding her to him. Did she actually feel any pain, try as he might to make this as painless as possible?
"...on second thought, just a little" she admitted with an embarrassed face. Their eyes locked for a moment, and a second later she broke into a grin. Then and there the two broke into a fit of giggles, holding each other tightly.
"You sure know how to say you're in pain" Florian laughed, kissing her shoulder.
"Well, it was either that or keep quiet and stay too serious for our own good!" Elizabeth replied in a hushed whisper, kissing his ear.
He gently lied her back down on the bed, not leaving her for a second, and hugged her tightly with a giggle. She turned her head to smile at him but her lips met his, and at that minute their giggling died down as their lips locked again.
Her eyes fixed to the necklace with her parents' wedding rings on it, as it had spilt out of one of her coat-pockets. The first thing she did, the day her parents were killed, was to remove their wedding rings. The night before the funeral she strung the three rings along a shotbead chain she rarely wore. The next morning she wore the rings to the funeral, but she always wore them under her coat.
Closing her eyes she continued to reminisce--a warm smile as she recalled to mind how wonderful, how strange yet... right... it all came together...
A calm silence overcame the room as the two made love, their lips lost in a long and bittersweet kiss. The outside world would have no clue, and they'd be damned if their friends ever overheard what had gone on in this very room. God forbid Johannes should accidentally stumble in on them but, as her intuition was in check she knew than to stray for whatever--whoever--it was she'd look for... which in this case would be Ralf.
Elizabeth however held Florian's face in her hands gently as she kissed him as willingly as she gave all of herself to him. Occassionally she'd open one eye to fix to the door in case of anything, but it was the last thing she was concerned about. All that mattered to her was the one person she loved more than anyone else.
But as minutes silently passed in untold bliss, their bodies sought and found their release, their souls drowning in each other, thoughts ran through each others mind. The lovers could hear their own hearts pounding in their heads, but they held each other gently, somewhere lost in their morning bliss. All the while their eyes were to each other, amused but worn-out half-smiles on their faces as they caught their breaths.
"...so... any pain, Eliza?" Florian asked inbetween catching breaths.
"...Florian... you smartass" Elizabeth retorted with a chuckle.
She giggled to herself at the memory as she lied back down on the bed with a sigh. Turning her head to look at her beloved she smiled, wondering how she'd come this far. She couldn't imagine life without him now--they were two equal halves to one soul. When the sweat turned to cold and all was said and done, they'd become so much more alike than when they'd first met all those months ago.
Florian finally opened one eye and smiled. "So, how'd you sleep?" he asked.
Elizabeth sighed happily. "Quite nicely, thank you very much."
"Any pain?" he asked with a grin.
She shook her head. "Florian" she replied, "I swear you're lucky I'm in a good mood!"
"Well then" he said as he pulled her into his arms, "shall I take advantage of said good mood?"
Elizabeth was beside herself--did the idea of making love again pass through Florian's mind!? Surely he's lost his mind! she thought to herself, but the thought was pushed aside when he kissed her with resolve--his resolve to always be there for her when she needed him, no matter what. After he broke the kiss she smiled at him warmly.
"Florian..." she said shaking her head, "what the hell am I ever going to do with you?"
But he smiled and, lying on top of her, held her hands in his. She raised a brow, her face fixed in a humble, amused half-smile.
"Simple, mein Liebling," he answered. "Consider me crazy but love me anyways."
Giving up the fight then and there, she chuckled. "Well, could you do me a favor, crazy little Roboter of mine?" she asked.
"For you, Eliza, anything."
She touched her nose to his for a moment and smiled. "Shut up and kiss me already."
Florian raised both eyebrows and, with a grin, replied, "Gladly!" Pushing her head back on the pillow he kissed her on the mouth, which itself still wore the smile since she relived the memory. But Elizabeth kept to herself, in her heart, that warm memory of her first time; her heart felt its sweetness. She'd never forget it, and rightly so--he was, to her, her first time, her last crush, her only love.
11 December 2007
Chapter 30: Ein Licht, Das Nie Erlischt [A Light That Never Goes Out] - Johannes.
...Ralf, where... where are you?
Mama?
Papa?
Elizabeth?
...where
where are you?
Johannes quietly stumbled in her blindness through the hallway to find Ralf's room. She had cried herself to sleep and, as she was sleeping, her sister and two childhood friends had all left to find their loved ones and to lament over their deaths. The blind woman woke up whispering her older sister's name. Realizing that she was alone, she sighed and, in her misery, felt as if she should just disregard waiting and go find her beloved. But she had more tears to cry and, as she tried to make her way through, she felt her weakness overwhelm her, and she stumbled over her blind steps, falling on the floor a few times.
Finally her intuition kicked into overdrive and, boldly, she got back up and had her hand along the wall and closed doors as she made her way to where her Roboter slept in death. Noting a gap in the wall, she sensed it was the open door to his room and, her hands feeling for the door, she found the doorknob and closed the door to his room. Numbly she felt her way through until she found the bed; she then walked around it to the other side, so as to get a feel of what sort of room she was in. One hand on the bed, the other against the wall... the window... Unable to stand anymore, she sat down on the side of the bed, unsure what to do, how to feel. But whatever it was she felt, it was a pain worse than loneliness.
"...why... do I feel so empty inside?" she asked herself as she felt around the bed with her hand and, to her saddened shock, found one of Ralf's hands.
His hand... is like ice!? she thought to herself as more tears fell down her pale cheeks. Does that mean that... he's...
Unable to finish the thought she let go of his hand and, hugging her knees to her chest, began to sob. Surely he couldn't die--he was a robot! Robots couldn't die! They'd live forever if they wanted to, they'd shut themselves down if they wanted to! But... unlike robots, Ralf was also human, which meant that he could die at any moment, and there'd be nothing that Johannes, as his love, could do about it. Yet if love could bring back anybody from the dead, surely love could bring back even a semi-human being... it had to be possible.
It had to be possible! It just had to be.
"Ralf... I'm... I'm sorry" she whispered. "I'm sorry I have no power to bring you back to me. I'm sorry I'm just this blind woman who's got faith in the future but not in herself. I...
"I will always be alone here, won't I?"
Memories flooded her mind as tears overflowed from her eyes. It all began in Lisbon, and then onboard the Trans-Europa, when in their first conversation together...
"I pray you don't ever end up alone in this life."
"I am not alone, Ralf" she replied. "I am never alone. I have my sister and neighbor and Anneke with me. I have Florian and Wolfgang and Karl with me. And I also have you with me, which is a blessing." A grateful, humble smile appeared on her face.
He smiled back at her, squeezing her hands a bit. "Fräulein Johanne, I promise you, while we're on board the Trans-Europa, I will not let go of your hand."
"But... why?" she asked, confused. "I do not understand."
"That way you know I am with you" he replied. "I want very much for you to be safe, not just around your family but also with me and my friends."
"I suppose it is not a weakness to want to be protected then?" she implied, blushing a bit.
"Not at all, darling" he reaffirmed, kissing her hands.
Johannes mentally cursed herself. Why didn't she beg him to stay instead of him leaving to fight against the enemy only to die? Why did she have to let him go? Perhaps it was better to have to face the world alone, her heart embittered as it was back in Lisbon.
"I... should've never let you go out there" she mourned, recalling their conversations, their memories together... their first kiss...
Ralf stood up and, holding Johannes by her hands, helped her up. "I think we're up for a waltz, Fräulein Johannes" the mensch-maschine said softly. But she only had a blank stare on her face.
"I... I do not know how to dance, no one's ever taught me how to dance the waltz" she replied sadly.
"It's alright, I'll teach you" the kind Roboter responded, and with that he patiently led the waltz as she followed along. But the two only took small, careful steps, pacing themselves so that she would try to get the hang of it. She mentally paced herself as they waltzed to the music. It was a bit out of the ordinary for her to experience her first waltz like this, but she almost stepped on his toes. Yet he was patient and kind with her, smiling at her every moment, every second that he had to spare. He wished he could just see the smile on his face but, at the least, she could feel its warmth in her heart.
Ralf, somehow more than overwhelmed by his love for her, held her hands close to his chest with one of his, while the other touched her pale yet life-sparked face. Then, in a daring move that he would've never considered, he kissed her lips, carefully, but endearingly. For a moment she blinked before closing her eyes, not sure of what was going on, yet liking this moment that, for once, was hers, his, and theirs alone. At this point the two had adjusted well to the waltz, but for Ralf, his feelings finally consumed him.
"Fräulein Johannes" he whispered, "I fear that... I have fallen in love with you..."
"I came to realize that... a long time ago, Ralf" she whispered back, "not simply with your heart but with mine also...
"I just... I just do not know what else to think than, I fear I've begun to love you... when you promised me you wouldn't let me go..."
But the sentence died on her lips as he kissed her again, and at a distance Elizabeth knew then and there how much Ralf truly loved her younger sister.
The waltz had ended before the entire gang hid in the shelter beneath Andelina's cafe in Vienna. The memory never escaped her mind, always settled in her heart. It was bittersweet, recalling the waltz, the lullaby he sang to her that night, the food she consumed in one sitting and the hilarious teasing that followed. But...
none of that mattered anymore now that Ralf was gone.
"Elizabeth... what happened?" Johannes asked when they arrived at the Spacelab.
"I fear... the boys are dying" her older sister answered sadly.
"No! They... they can't be dying..." she replied in despair. "They're... they're robots. They... they can't die! They live forever, don't... they...?"
But her sister was silent as Professor Henning took Ralf from Johannes' arms and into his own.
"No! don't take Ralf away from me, please!!" she pleaded, but it became a sob when she realized he wasn't going to return.
"Ralf!! Wait!! Come back...
COME BACK!!"
Quietly, waiting for something--anything, she lied down on the bed, curled up on her side, facing the wall, and cried herself to sleep.
...a few hours later...
"...and what color is that wall in front of me?"
"The wall is white, Johanna."
"Alright. That color is white. And your arm?"
"The sleeve is red."
"Okay. This color, red."
Johannes woke up to feel warm arms wrapped around her, kisses along her right ear. Her eyes opened and, the first thing she saw was the wall, the window. Tears had fallen from her eyes and became like melted candlewax on the pillow. She glanced to the waxen teardrops, and back to the wall. She started to ask questions, while the person holding her tightly from behind answered her curiosities. She had looked to the wall, to the window, asked about the wall, asked about the color of his sleeves.
"And... what color is this?" she asked, looking to her skirt.
"That color is black" the kind voice answered.
"Black... my sister told me my hair was black" she said wistfully, looking at a curl of her own black hair. "So then that must be black!"
She felt the person nod his head against her ear. "Yep, that's black."
Her face then went to the ceiling. "And... what's that!?" she asked, giggling.
"That's the ceiling" he answered with a kind laugh. "And that thing over there is a fan."
"Elizabeth always complained about the fan in her room breaking down" she recalled. "She hated the thing. I guess I don't really blame her.
"...white... walls, white ceiling... this isn't heaven, right?"
"Right" he answered. "You're alive, just like me."
"So then if I'm alive..." she said sadly, fearing the worst of it.
"No, it's not over for you" the kind soul replied.
Blinking her eyes for a moment she turned her head to face a kind face with bold blue eyes and a warm smile. She then realized... it wasn't a dream. The hands that held her... the voice talking to her. She knew its warmth, she knew the voice.
"...Ralf?" she whispered, a faint smile of hope appearing on her face.
Her true love nodded slowly, tears filling his eyes.
"You... you came back to me?" she asked. "Is it... really you?"
"Yes... it's... it's me" he said, smiling warmly. "I'm here, Johanna. I'm not going anywhere."
"...what color those... things?" she asked softly, pointing to his eyes.
"My eyes are blue" he responded.
"And mine...?"
"They're... purple...!"
"--they're not gray!?" she asked in shock. "Then... it's true... sweet Mother of God above... I can see...
I can see, Ralf!! I can see you!!" she cried joyfully as they hugged each other tightly. Her beloved couldn't help but share in her joy, knowing that she'd often doubted about the hope of her sight, as a few tears fell from his own eyes. She then pulled back to look in his eyes again.
"Alright, that color is blue" she noted. Then, she blinked. "You have very pretty eyes" she said with a smile. He blushed.
"Now your face is almost as red as your shirt!!" she giggled. But he giggled along with her and held her tightly, her face resting against his chest as he kissed the top of her head.
"Ralf?" she spoke again.
He rolled his eyes for a moment--WOW! you're curious!! he thought to himself as he looked to her and asked, "What is it, Johanne?"
"You... have a heart!" she said gleefully in a hushed whisper. "You have a beating heart, Ralf!"
He blinked for a moment and placed his hand on his chest. A faint smile appeared when he felt his own pulse. He had survived the last and worst of the glitch attacks--he had become a full-spirited Mensch-Maschine with, just as his best friends had, a beating heart.
"I... I suppose there are such things as miracles then?" he asked, looking into his beloved's purple eyes.
She shrugged. "Hey, if it can bring you back to me and give me sight in the process..." she answered with a smile.
"By the way, this color is gray, this is brown, and this is also blue!" Ralf quickly explained, pointing to his pants, hair, and the crystal on his Radio locket. Johannes nodded quickly, trying to absorb the information.
"Okay, blue... gray... brown... red... white... black... and my eyes are purple!" she recalled all the colors she learned so far.
"That's my girl!" he cheered, hugging her tightly.
"...no" she said.
"--eh!?" he asked, blinking as he looked into her eyes.
"I'm not a girl, you goober!!" she retorted with a grin.
The Mensch-Maschine looked at her, puzzled.
"I am your Prinzessin, remember?" she reminded him.
A giggle... a laugh escaped his lips, and he held her in a warm embrace. "You're something else, Johanna!!" he said as his laugh died down gently. "Who knew... you'd be so full of life when all you knew was despair?"
"It's because... I can see the world around me now" she explained quietly as she lied down on her back, her face to the ceiling. "I want to see trees... the bells that ring and the birds that sing... my sister and my best friends... Alessandro and Fritz and Professor Henning... Florian and Karl and Wolfgang... Andelina and Gregorio... the city, the world, the life that surrounds me everyday!" She turned her face to smile at him. "But the best part is that I get to see you! Your blue eyes, your warm smile. You're beautiful, you know that?"
He laughed again. "You've got a lot to see then, Johanna."
"Hey, I'm ready!!" she affirmed, smiling cheerfully.
"Now, as for who's so-called beautiful" Ralf spoke, changing the topic a little bit, "I see someone far more beautiful than myself." He lied down on top of her and held her face in his hands. "Someone with bright purple eyes and a dear smile, a warm heart and an even warmer embrace.
"...why, it looks like someone I love."
"Should I ask who it is?" Johannes asked with a curious half-smile.
"...no" he answered. "You know who it is."
"I know" she replied with a grin. "I just want to hear you say it. I want to hear sweet words again... I miss... hearing them..." Her grin died to a somber smile. "My heart almost died because I felt as if you'd died."
"Johanna" he said, "I've no reason to leave you. It was so I could recover fully, on my own, and become an actual Mensch-Maschine. I had once told you this, a long while ago, but it seems that in all of the recent chaos you'd forgotten.
"But rest assured, as long as I'm alive, we'll always be together."
"You... promise?" she asked with a hopeful look on her face.
He kissed her nose. "Always, princess, always."
For a moment they smiled, eyes locked to each other without a care about the outside world. Then he hugged her tightly, kissing her cheek and resting his head beside her head on the pillow.
Hours later the sun shone into the room, and Johannes blinked to see the beautiful sunrise outside in her home city. This must be Düsseldorf! she thought with a smile as her eyes fixed to the life outside the window. She then looked at Ralf, who'd fallen asleep with his head rested against her heart. Gently she ran a finger along his cheek, and he blinked his eyes open, looking up at her.
"Guten morgen, Ralf" she whispered, still smiling.
"Guten morgen, Johanna" he whispered back as a smile broke across his face. He then moved so that his his forehead could touch hers.
"...you know," she said, "I realized that, I forgot to tell you something."
"Forgot to tell me what?" he asked.
"I actually forgot to tell you I love you" she said nonchalantly, still smiling.
His smile turned into a humored, bashful grin as he held her face in his hands again. Running a thumb along her lower lip he kissed her nose and smiled.
"I love you, Ralf" she whispered.
"I love you too, Johanna" he whispered back. Glancing to the scene outside the window for a moment, he then turned his gaze back to her.
"It looks like a promising day today" she said.
"That's mostly because I'm with someone I love dearly" he replied wistfully.
"Oh really?" she laughed. "And who might she be, my dear?"
But he simply kissed her forehead, and then her nose and cheeks. Finally he looked her in the eyes and smiled warmly. "I... I don't have to tell you, you know that. You know who it is."
"I know but... I just want to hear it from you again. It's music to my ears."
When he heard her words of love, his heart became overwhelmed by his love for her, and he gently kissed her still-smiling mouth, whispering inbetween kisses who she was to him so that she could remember who she was in his heart, more than anything--"Meine liebe Prinzessin... my dear, sweet Princess..."
*writer's note--memory excerpts are from Chapter 3 [All Aboard the Trans-Europa!] and Chapter 10 [A Late-Night Cafe].*
Mama?
Papa?
Elizabeth?
...where
where are you?
Johannes quietly stumbled in her blindness through the hallway to find Ralf's room. She had cried herself to sleep and, as she was sleeping, her sister and two childhood friends had all left to find their loved ones and to lament over their deaths. The blind woman woke up whispering her older sister's name. Realizing that she was alone, she sighed and, in her misery, felt as if she should just disregard waiting and go find her beloved. But she had more tears to cry and, as she tried to make her way through, she felt her weakness overwhelm her, and she stumbled over her blind steps, falling on the floor a few times.
Finally her intuition kicked into overdrive and, boldly, she got back up and had her hand along the wall and closed doors as she made her way to where her Roboter slept in death. Noting a gap in the wall, she sensed it was the open door to his room and, her hands feeling for the door, she found the doorknob and closed the door to his room. Numbly she felt her way through until she found the bed; she then walked around it to the other side, so as to get a feel of what sort of room she was in. One hand on the bed, the other against the wall... the window... Unable to stand anymore, she sat down on the side of the bed, unsure what to do, how to feel. But whatever it was she felt, it was a pain worse than loneliness.
"...why... do I feel so empty inside?" she asked herself as she felt around the bed with her hand and, to her saddened shock, found one of Ralf's hands.
His hand... is like ice!? she thought to herself as more tears fell down her pale cheeks. Does that mean that... he's...
Unable to finish the thought she let go of his hand and, hugging her knees to her chest, began to sob. Surely he couldn't die--he was a robot! Robots couldn't die! They'd live forever if they wanted to, they'd shut themselves down if they wanted to! But... unlike robots, Ralf was also human, which meant that he could die at any moment, and there'd be nothing that Johannes, as his love, could do about it. Yet if love could bring back anybody from the dead, surely love could bring back even a semi-human being... it had to be possible.
It had to be possible! It just had to be.
"Ralf... I'm... I'm sorry" she whispered. "I'm sorry I have no power to bring you back to me. I'm sorry I'm just this blind woman who's got faith in the future but not in herself. I...
"I will always be alone here, won't I?"
Memories flooded her mind as tears overflowed from her eyes. It all began in Lisbon, and then onboard the Trans-Europa, when in their first conversation together...
"I pray you don't ever end up alone in this life."
"I am not alone, Ralf" she replied. "I am never alone. I have my sister and neighbor and Anneke with me. I have Florian and Wolfgang and Karl with me. And I also have you with me, which is a blessing." A grateful, humble smile appeared on her face.
He smiled back at her, squeezing her hands a bit. "Fräulein Johanne, I promise you, while we're on board the Trans-Europa, I will not let go of your hand."
"But... why?" she asked, confused. "I do not understand."
"That way you know I am with you" he replied. "I want very much for you to be safe, not just around your family but also with me and my friends."
"I suppose it is not a weakness to want to be protected then?" she implied, blushing a bit.
"Not at all, darling" he reaffirmed, kissing her hands.
Johannes mentally cursed herself. Why didn't she beg him to stay instead of him leaving to fight against the enemy only to die? Why did she have to let him go? Perhaps it was better to have to face the world alone, her heart embittered as it was back in Lisbon.
"I... should've never let you go out there" she mourned, recalling their conversations, their memories together... their first kiss...
Ralf stood up and, holding Johannes by her hands, helped her up. "I think we're up for a waltz, Fräulein Johannes" the mensch-maschine said softly. But she only had a blank stare on her face.
"I... I do not know how to dance, no one's ever taught me how to dance the waltz" she replied sadly.
"It's alright, I'll teach you" the kind Roboter responded, and with that he patiently led the waltz as she followed along. But the two only took small, careful steps, pacing themselves so that she would try to get the hang of it. She mentally paced herself as they waltzed to the music. It was a bit out of the ordinary for her to experience her first waltz like this, but she almost stepped on his toes. Yet he was patient and kind with her, smiling at her every moment, every second that he had to spare. He wished he could just see the smile on his face but, at the least, she could feel its warmth in her heart.
Ralf, somehow more than overwhelmed by his love for her, held her hands close to his chest with one of his, while the other touched her pale yet life-sparked face. Then, in a daring move that he would've never considered, he kissed her lips, carefully, but endearingly. For a moment she blinked before closing her eyes, not sure of what was going on, yet liking this moment that, for once, was hers, his, and theirs alone. At this point the two had adjusted well to the waltz, but for Ralf, his feelings finally consumed him.
"Fräulein Johannes" he whispered, "I fear that... I have fallen in love with you..."
"I came to realize that... a long time ago, Ralf" she whispered back, "not simply with your heart but with mine also...
"I just... I just do not know what else to think than, I fear I've begun to love you... when you promised me you wouldn't let me go..."
But the sentence died on her lips as he kissed her again, and at a distance Elizabeth knew then and there how much Ralf truly loved her younger sister.
The waltz had ended before the entire gang hid in the shelter beneath Andelina's cafe in Vienna. The memory never escaped her mind, always settled in her heart. It was bittersweet, recalling the waltz, the lullaby he sang to her that night, the food she consumed in one sitting and the hilarious teasing that followed. But...
none of that mattered anymore now that Ralf was gone.
"Elizabeth... what happened?" Johannes asked when they arrived at the Spacelab.
"I fear... the boys are dying" her older sister answered sadly.
"No! They... they can't be dying..." she replied in despair. "They're... they're robots. They... they can't die! They live forever, don't... they...?"
But her sister was silent as Professor Henning took Ralf from Johannes' arms and into his own.
"No! don't take Ralf away from me, please!!" she pleaded, but it became a sob when she realized he wasn't going to return.
"Ralf!! Wait!! Come back...
COME BACK!!"
Quietly, waiting for something--anything, she lied down on the bed, curled up on her side, facing the wall, and cried herself to sleep.
...a few hours later...
"...and what color is that wall in front of me?"
"The wall is white, Johanna."
"Alright. That color is white. And your arm?"
"The sleeve is red."
"Okay. This color, red."
Johannes woke up to feel warm arms wrapped around her, kisses along her right ear. Her eyes opened and, the first thing she saw was the wall, the window. Tears had fallen from her eyes and became like melted candlewax on the pillow. She glanced to the waxen teardrops, and back to the wall. She started to ask questions, while the person holding her tightly from behind answered her curiosities. She had looked to the wall, to the window, asked about the wall, asked about the color of his sleeves.
"And... what color is this?" she asked, looking to her skirt.
"That color is black" the kind voice answered.
"Black... my sister told me my hair was black" she said wistfully, looking at a curl of her own black hair. "So then that must be black!"
She felt the person nod his head against her ear. "Yep, that's black."
Her face then went to the ceiling. "And... what's that!?" she asked, giggling.
"That's the ceiling" he answered with a kind laugh. "And that thing over there is a fan."
"Elizabeth always complained about the fan in her room breaking down" she recalled. "She hated the thing. I guess I don't really blame her.
"...white... walls, white ceiling... this isn't heaven, right?"
"Right" he answered. "You're alive, just like me."
"So then if I'm alive..." she said sadly, fearing the worst of it.
"No, it's not over for you" the kind soul replied.
Blinking her eyes for a moment she turned her head to face a kind face with bold blue eyes and a warm smile. She then realized... it wasn't a dream. The hands that held her... the voice talking to her. She knew its warmth, she knew the voice.
"...Ralf?" she whispered, a faint smile of hope appearing on her face.
Her true love nodded slowly, tears filling his eyes.
"You... you came back to me?" she asked. "Is it... really you?"
"Yes... it's... it's me" he said, smiling warmly. "I'm here, Johanna. I'm not going anywhere."
"...what color those... things?" she asked softly, pointing to his eyes.
"My eyes are blue" he responded.
"And mine...?"
"They're... purple...!"
"--they're not gray!?" she asked in shock. "Then... it's true... sweet Mother of God above... I can see...
I can see, Ralf!! I can see you!!" she cried joyfully as they hugged each other tightly. Her beloved couldn't help but share in her joy, knowing that she'd often doubted about the hope of her sight, as a few tears fell from his own eyes. She then pulled back to look in his eyes again.
"Alright, that color is blue" she noted. Then, she blinked. "You have very pretty eyes" she said with a smile. He blushed.
"Now your face is almost as red as your shirt!!" she giggled. But he giggled along with her and held her tightly, her face resting against his chest as he kissed the top of her head.
"Ralf?" she spoke again.
He rolled his eyes for a moment--WOW! you're curious!! he thought to himself as he looked to her and asked, "What is it, Johanne?"
"You... have a heart!" she said gleefully in a hushed whisper. "You have a beating heart, Ralf!"
He blinked for a moment and placed his hand on his chest. A faint smile appeared when he felt his own pulse. He had survived the last and worst of the glitch attacks--he had become a full-spirited Mensch-Maschine with, just as his best friends had, a beating heart.
"I... I suppose there are such things as miracles then?" he asked, looking into his beloved's purple eyes.
She shrugged. "Hey, if it can bring you back to me and give me sight in the process..." she answered with a smile.
"By the way, this color is gray, this is brown, and this is also blue!" Ralf quickly explained, pointing to his pants, hair, and the crystal on his Radio locket. Johannes nodded quickly, trying to absorb the information.
"Okay, blue... gray... brown... red... white... black... and my eyes are purple!" she recalled all the colors she learned so far.
"That's my girl!" he cheered, hugging her tightly.
"...no" she said.
"--eh!?" he asked, blinking as he looked into her eyes.
"I'm not a girl, you goober!!" she retorted with a grin.
The Mensch-Maschine looked at her, puzzled.
"I am your Prinzessin, remember?" she reminded him.
A giggle... a laugh escaped his lips, and he held her in a warm embrace. "You're something else, Johanna!!" he said as his laugh died down gently. "Who knew... you'd be so full of life when all you knew was despair?"
"It's because... I can see the world around me now" she explained quietly as she lied down on her back, her face to the ceiling. "I want to see trees... the bells that ring and the birds that sing... my sister and my best friends... Alessandro and Fritz and Professor Henning... Florian and Karl and Wolfgang... Andelina and Gregorio... the city, the world, the life that surrounds me everyday!" She turned her face to smile at him. "But the best part is that I get to see you! Your blue eyes, your warm smile. You're beautiful, you know that?"
He laughed again. "You've got a lot to see then, Johanna."
"Hey, I'm ready!!" she affirmed, smiling cheerfully.
"Now, as for who's so-called beautiful" Ralf spoke, changing the topic a little bit, "I see someone far more beautiful than myself." He lied down on top of her and held her face in his hands. "Someone with bright purple eyes and a dear smile, a warm heart and an even warmer embrace.
"...why, it looks like someone I love."
"Should I ask who it is?" Johannes asked with a curious half-smile.
"...no" he answered. "You know who it is."
"I know" she replied with a grin. "I just want to hear you say it. I want to hear sweet words again... I miss... hearing them..." Her grin died to a somber smile. "My heart almost died because I felt as if you'd died."
"Johanna" he said, "I've no reason to leave you. It was so I could recover fully, on my own, and become an actual Mensch-Maschine. I had once told you this, a long while ago, but it seems that in all of the recent chaos you'd forgotten.
"But rest assured, as long as I'm alive, we'll always be together."
"You... promise?" she asked with a hopeful look on her face.
He kissed her nose. "Always, princess, always."
For a moment they smiled, eyes locked to each other without a care about the outside world. Then he hugged her tightly, kissing her cheek and resting his head beside her head on the pillow.
Hours later the sun shone into the room, and Johannes blinked to see the beautiful sunrise outside in her home city. This must be Düsseldorf! she thought with a smile as her eyes fixed to the life outside the window. She then looked at Ralf, who'd fallen asleep with his head rested against her heart. Gently she ran a finger along his cheek, and he blinked his eyes open, looking up at her.
"Guten morgen, Ralf" she whispered, still smiling.
"Guten morgen, Johanna" he whispered back as a smile broke across his face. He then moved so that his his forehead could touch hers.
"...you know," she said, "I realized that, I forgot to tell you something."
"Forgot to tell me what?" he asked.
"I actually forgot to tell you I love you" she said nonchalantly, still smiling.
His smile turned into a humored, bashful grin as he held her face in his hands again. Running a thumb along her lower lip he kissed her nose and smiled.
"I love you, Ralf" she whispered.
"I love you too, Johanna" he whispered back. Glancing to the scene outside the window for a moment, he then turned his gaze back to her.
"It looks like a promising day today" she said.
"That's mostly because I'm with someone I love dearly" he replied wistfully.
"Oh really?" she laughed. "And who might she be, my dear?"
But he simply kissed her forehead, and then her nose and cheeks. Finally he looked her in the eyes and smiled warmly. "I... I don't have to tell you, you know that. You know who it is."
"I know but... I just want to hear it from you again. It's music to my ears."
When he heard her words of love, his heart became overwhelmed by his love for her, and he gently kissed her still-smiling mouth, whispering inbetween kisses who she was to him so that she could remember who she was in his heart, more than anything--"Meine liebe Prinzessin... my dear, sweet Princess..."
*writer's note--memory excerpts are from Chapter 3 [All Aboard the Trans-Europa!] and Chapter 10 [A Late-Night Cafe].*
08 December 2007
Chapter 29: Rechtmäßig Besessen. [Rightfully Possessed.]
this chapter is written from anneke's point of view.*
I was only 17 years old when, after the Darkstrom started to try to take over Germany and, in particular, beloved Düsseldorf, Elibeth, Rekah and I fought against a handful of troopers. When all was said and done, however, I was near death, and so was Rekah, because she used up almost all of her life force to fix me. I was scared more for the younger of us, because she didn't deserve to die at age 12. No way. Not the way she looked out for Johanne.
As the one always prepared for anything, I had always looked out for the girls. Elibeth was my best friend since childhood, Johannes was her sister and Rekah their neighbor. All our lives we'd known each other, grown to love each other as sisters. We were our own family. It was very nice for the most part. If not for the Darkstrom it would've been nicer, but such is life and so it goes.
In Lisbon we were treated all the same as everyone else, except for Johannes. She was given the okay to simply wander about. She was blind; "she was born blind and she'll die blind" the officers would scoff. But she ignored them. She only wanted the future of Eastern Europe to be filled with freedom, not fear--light, not darkness. She possessed the gift of eternal hope in the face of eternal chaos. That was how Elibeth and Rekah and I, we loved her dearly. We held on with that hope she instilled in all of us.
And then... I met Karl. And then I began to change.
For the first time, I felt a sense of whim that never existed before. In my very soul was the sense that, perhaps I didn't need to take caution around men. In my heart there was a case of skipping beats; I had let my guard down, I had dropped my defenses.
For the first time in my life, I fell in love.
I wasn't really sure of myself for a while. Karl was the only person I felt I could be myself around, besides Elibeth, and he'd be alright with it. We loved our cameras and took so many pictures; then, after developing them and putting them into scrapbooks, we'd show them all to everyone and save them for the day Johannes would get her sight, so she could see them too.
All was well until Venice. And then the courage came to confess my love for him, but I was very scared, because of what Rekah had suffered at the hands of men. But Karl... sweet, sweet angel that overtakes my senses and turns a grown woman into a cheerful child! What had he done to me, God above only knows. But he was the only person outside of the Quartet to love me for who I was. And my feelings for him were mutual.
After all that we've been through, one would've hoped that, in effect, we'd always be together. But on that final fight on the Trans-Europa, in which we basically annihilated the enemy forces, Karl had been wounded to the point where, Rekah couldn't save any of our Roboter for some ungodly reason, and basically the fear of death was in.
I quietly witnessed Johannes crying herself to sleep, Rekah and Elibeth leaving me to cry over the men they had come to love so selflessly. Realizing that, maybe Karl would appreciate it if I said one last Guten nacht to him, I left Johannes sleeping and went to his room. I swear, I should've just died the second I entered the room, because the room had an air as cold and still as death itself. Or perhaps when I saw his lifeless body? Not sure for certain.
Lamentations over the city, joyful since their beloved Quartet was home.
Lamentations over the dead, sleeping and waiting for love to arrive along.
I had slashed my scar open, the first time I saw it bleed in almost 10 years. I had no fear, no sense of pain. It just... it just didn't matter anymore. Life had no meaning for me. To go on living, knowing that the one person that I ever loved, selfelessly and with willing lack of resistance, had died... it was not possible for me. It wasn't worth the pain, the aggrevation, the humiliation. Nothing had meaning, everything became nothing.
Closing my eyes, I simply awaited death. All because I loved someone too much to stay in this world. I'd give all my soul just to stay with him no matter what.
...one flaw though. Death didn't happen.
Lost in some dream... someone holding me, adorning my miserably-spent body with kisses... it felt so real. In my dream, it was Karl. But, it felt so real... perhaps, past real. I felt as if this wasn't meant to happen and yet, how the hell did it go? I could've sworn I was holding on to something--whether it was the blanket, his shirt, his pants, or my skirt, I had no clue. In any case, it was very unusual yet... something unexpected and, perhaps, a bit nice.
But not since the night in Venice had anyone held me this way. And definitely not before, either. No one had dared to love someone who played positive practical jokes from time to time, let alone prepared for almost anything. But... this was too different somehow. I was never prepared for something called falling in love.
A fingertip gently tapped along the scar, it felt as if it was a gentle needle sewing the wound shut. The warmth of his finger... the warmth of the one who was holding me... it felt like Karl. And no one else I knew had the courage to tend to the past's scars I wore. Yet... here I was, sleeping in some sense of death, or so it felt, and someone was trying to save me. But... why? I had no intention of living anymore!! I didn't want to have to suffer the tears in the past all over again!! I didn't want to live this life alone!!
And then, a whisper, the voice familiar to me--
"Anya... Anya, wake up..."
But I don't want to wake up from this! I thought, and as the thought escaped my lips I swore to myself in my heart that, damnit I'd gone mad! But a hand held my neck gently and I was being kissed along that scar. The kisses... familiar to me...
"Anya please... open your eyes..."
But... I don't want to...
"Why not?"
...because I'm scared that... when I open them... if I open them... I'll be alive, the one I love will still be dead, and I'll have to face the world... alone...
"No... that's not so. You... you won't face this world alone."
I think I hesitated for a moment. Alright, should I open my eyes?
...I'm... afraid.
"Don't be. Don't ever be afraid, Anya."
--suddenly it dawned on me, no one else had ever called me Anya. I finally gave in to fear and, hoping past hope, opened my eyes to see my hands clutching the blanket. I was still crying, I thought I had died, only to realize I was still alive, but it all pulled together for me the moment I turned my eyes to look up at a face, so sweet, so familiar, who smiled at me with eyes of love.
It was my beloved Karl. And he was alive.
...well, a bit scarred, but still adorable. And did I mention he was alive?
"You're... alive?" I asked in a dazed whisper.
He nodded. "And I'm not going anywhere without you. Even if it was to the gates of death I'd gladly follow."
I gently ran my finger along where my scar was, and felt the light stitching. "Did you do this?"
"Yes" he answered. "I couldn't bear to see the blood spilling from the one I'd give my life for."
"I... thought you'd died... so I wanted to die... just so I could be with you" I confessed. "I didn't want to face this world alone."
"And I won't let you face this world alone, angel" he told me. "Wherever you go, I gladly follow, because I love you."
I looked into his eyes for a moment, and there dwelled the promise of our future together. But I had one moment of doubt, which led me to ask--"Are we alive and well then...?"
Karl grinned. "Alive and breathing, with beating hearts and happy souls. Or at least on my part. I don't know about the happy soul part on your end."
I giggled for the first time since before Athens. It felt so good to smile again, but even better to know that we were both alive, we were breathing, we were alright. With that I hugged him tightly to me... and then, my heart was overwhelmed. It was as if... as if nothing else mattered except for one moment against the current of time, the rush of the outside world. It didn't matter to either of us. Only we mattered to each other.
Recalling what happened after this is nothing short of one helluva blur. I remember everything--every touch, every embrace, every kiss. But it felt so strange, that of all the memories in my journey home from Lisbon, this was the one memory that meant so much more to me than the night in Venice... even though that memory would always be a part of me. Well, both me and Karl's memories. Definitely. But anyway... trying to recall... it felt so strange. It felt like a dream, but I knew we were alive.
The braids were undone, the ribbons aside, more kisses to adorn that exhausted woman-child that was me. I held Karl to me tightly and blinked my eyes in sudden alarm--and I swear, how on earth I let this slide I have NO CLUE whatsoever!--Karl had no shirt on! This had surprised me even more than the incident in Venice. But nonetheless he was shirtless, and as I looked at him, he had not simply become adorable in my eyes anymore--he was, perhaps, beautiful. In spite of the few bullet wounds and glass cuts, he truly was beautiful in my eyes.
The next thing I knew, buttons from my coat were undone, bittersweet kisses adorned my body that had scars of past battles that I'd fought on my sisters' behalf. So help me God, this put the night we spent in Venice to absolute shame. Yet... I willingly was powerless to stop it. It showed as I quickly sat up and, in doing so got my arms freed from the coatsleeves. Perhaps I'd be less bold, less nervingly brave to do that.
On second thought, nah.
But he straddled me on my lap and held my face in his hands, kissed my lips and confessed his heart inbetween the kisses, to which I'll never forget the words he said, that I'd always be his only angel--his only love. I couldn't speak a word in reply, as words failed me altogether, and all I could do was plant kisses along his torso, along the wounds that had almost taken him away from me. After a moment of this sort of gentle torture he carefully lied me back down on the bed and kissed me as if he'd never see me again. Then he broke the kiss and, in a near whisper, told me something that I'd tattoo in my heart for ever if I wanted to--
"My dearest Anya, my angel... my rightful possession."
All I could do was speak what my heart felt at that moment. "My beloved... my little heaven against the hell of the outside world."
I don't know if it was his heart or my words that caused whatever happened afterwards, but we held each other tightly for a moment. It felt so good to be in his arms, to simply hold him again, to bask in the warmth of his love. It was surreal. It still feels surreal.
Then, somehow, I felt this strange warmth in my very soul, deep inside of me... it wasn't there before. But it was there, and it was welcomed there, whatever that warmth was. Somehow, for once in my life, my heart was full, my spirit was whole. It was... entirely strange yet... very, very nice.
There wasn't much else to note except the feeling surged deeper into the very depths of my being. I couldn't quite figure out what all went on at first, but my thoughts quickly rationalized itself as I noted that, beneath the blanket that covered us, I couldn't really see past my skirt's waistband what all happened as our legs intertwined. Somehow I thought amusingly he'd either painlessly breached the maidenhead or I just didn't feel an ounce of pain and it's all his fault! ...well, in a good way of course, 'cause this does feel kinda nice...
Really, it was MORE than nice.
I'll never really figure out how we'd synchronized our breathing... our own heartbeats to each other, simply in the process of fully drowning in each other's love. But he was careful, yet he loved me dearly, not slowing yet not rushing either. I took his face in my hands and brought it to mine so I could kiss him right on the mouth--well, it was either that or I'd end up crying out in untold bliss!! Preferably, I think I'd prefer keeping silent. Obviously, so did Karl, because he kissed me as if I truly was his possession, his only angel.
I felt him clasp my hands tightly and placing them behind my head. He stopped kissing me and looked at me for a moment, a smile on his adorable face.
"My Anya" he whispered, "my angel, my princess."
For a moment my memory returned to Venice, where he'd called me the exact same names. My heart felt strangely warm in opposed to the chill in the room that was still there, but I never felt it. I couldn't... not while the man I loved was here with me, overtaking all of me, and gladly so.
Another kiss along my scar and he resumed making love to me at the pace he'd been at. I quickly snapped my wrists free of his hands and held him to me, wishing he'd not cease the kiss this time around. A while would've gladly passed until, the next thing I knew, I found myself lightly biting Karl's lip as a surge flooded my entire being, and finally his name escaped my lips in a hushed whisper as I held him even tighter, my senses in overdrive yet my mind rendered numb. He too whispered my name as, so it seems, he'd felt that same surge overcome him, and he held onto me for dear life. I swear, I'd never felt anything like that before... it was so... well... damn... I can't really put it into words.
As morning took its course and the sun peeked through the blinds, I opened my eyes again. We'd fallen asleep in each other's arms, tightly, wrapped with only a blanket to help keep us warm in the chilly room. I was still on my back, Karl on top, resting his head beside mine on the pillow as our hearts were beating against each other. Except, I couldn't figure out whose heart was beating, if it was mine or his. And I quietly told him this.
He simply opened his sleepy eyes and smiled. "It's neither yours or mine" he answered. "Not yours nor mine, but our heart beating." He then kissed my forehead and whispered, "And not the chaos of the world or the madness of the Darkstrom can ever take that away from us. Ever."
My heart was filled with emotion, and I hugged him tightly to me, the words I wanted to say finally escaping me. But I guess it became more of a show of humility, that I truly could not make it through this world alone, that I needed him more than I thought.
"Please... stay with me?" I asked humbly.
"However long my angel's heart wishes it" he answered, touching his nose to mine.
"Stay... for ever?" I then asked with a sense of longing.
"Now Anya" he replied, smiling lovingly. "I'm afraid to say that... for ever...
"for us, for ever is never long enough."
"I guess... that's how much you love me then?" I asked, a small lopsided smile on my face.
"I love you so much more than you know" he confessed.
"And I love you just as much" I admitted. A few tears overflowed my eyes--I couldn't be happier!! The one man I truly, selflessly loved in this entire world, was here with me again. For always!! Not even 'for ever' was long enough!!
They say that the heart of one who truly loves is warm and kind. I never really understood that... until that very moment.
There wasn't much to be said though as we basked in each other's love. "My beloved angel" Karl whispered against my neck, kissing my scar with love as we held each other tightly. "My dearest Anya... my only love."
Chapter 28: Ein Licht, Das Nie Erlischt [A Light That Never Goes Out] - Anneke.
Anneke watched Johannes fall asleep in tears as time passed through in the Spacelab's waiting room. Should she simply leave the blind angel here and go find Karl? Elizabeth had left to mourn over Florian, just as Rebekah for Wolfgang. But then what would the young blind soul of the Quartet do if the no-longer joke-filled spirit of the bunch went to look for the one she loved? Surely she herself would go find Ralf to cry her tears over his unlikely death.
Quietly she made her humble decision and, leaving Johannes to sleep, left to find her beloved's room. As she closed the door, she felt the chill in the room, took it all into her soul. To her it was as if it was the very chill of death--the chill of death that overtook Karl, the chill of death that would soon overtake her. Then she turned to look at him, and tears flooded her eyes when she saw his lifeless body wired to the machines that either kept him alive or prepared him for his funeral.
"This..." she said softly to herself "can't be... happening..."
Going to the window at the other side of the room she saw the lights that shone brightly in Düsseldorf, her hometown. It glowed beautifully as it used to be in the past, yet to her it meant nothing. Not while Karl was dead. She never wanted this to happen--that she'd return home but her soul'd lost all feeling. Leaning her forehead against the window, she looked out the window to see Alessandro and Fritz outside, walking to the town ahead of them. The orphan was dressed as the guys were--he himself was a Mensch-Maschine in spirit and form. His glitch attacks came as an infant, but he overcame them boldly and grew up to be a cheerful 12-year-old with the respect and charm of a young boy.
"Someday" she whispered softly, "the boy will have a family. I can feel it."
Turning away to look at Karl, she went and sat down at the side of the bed, her face gazing painfully at his lifeless own. Who was she to think that miracles were possible now, given the circumstances she'd faced throughout her entire life? Her best friend since childhood witnessed the death of her parents as a child. Her best friend's younger sister was born blind, with no hope of sight possible for her. And the youngest of the Quartet was afraid at almost everything. But what... what about the Anneke that grew up? She'd faced life alone as her working-class parents worked so hard to support the family, if not for her three dearest friends. But all she knew was just that--her best friends, Düsseldorf as it used to be.
Yet, recalling the memory, it all changed when, as the girls were about to leave Lisbon...
Anneke walked up to KW310552, her eyes a bit solemn in case he meant trouble. Her stern glare soon turned into a giggly grin when he made a funny face. Suddenly, she no longer felt like she had to be on high alert around him as he extended a hand to her.
"Hallo, my name is Karl" he spoke. "And you are?"
"Anneke Weldenta" she answered, her hand now in his. "Are you going to be with us on the Trans-Europa?"
Karl nodded. "Absolutely, Miss Anneke."
She'd remembered the charm in his smile. He was always adorable, how he forgot her name at first when the train started for Paris, how whatever he wanted to say died when his blue eyes met hers. She remembered his blue eyes, his adorable smile, his silly sense of humor which matched--and at times rivaled--hers, his funny respect for the camera. She remembered so much about him, but in particular things had begun to change one night in Venice not so long ago...
"Hide what must be hid, tell what must be told."
Karl's words echoed in her head. What was she to do? Should she think through her words or simply spill out her heart?
Suddenly she felt a tie being tied loosely around her neck, and her gaze looked up to his smiling face.
"I kinda wondered if that tie looked better on you than on me" the Roboter said, keeping the tie loose around her neck. He had his top two buttons undone, and a faint scar had shown at the base of his neck.
"...what happened there, Karl?" she asked, glancing to the scar.
"That was from the accident that... that almost killed me" he replied sadly. Curious she opened one more button to see the extent of the scar. It was only enough to scar the shoulder, yet it missed his heart. But, of course, the circumstances of that injury could've been much worse also.
Quietly she undid the back buttons of her high collar, and one button from each side of her coat, revealing a scar that started just below her left ear, running down the side of the neck, over her collarbone, stopping just above where her heart was.
"This" she explained "was when I fought against the enemy in the beginning of their invasion. One of the Troopers almost killed me. Rekah had to heal me before taking care of anything else. The girl almost died." She then sat down on the grass, hugging her knees to her chest. "I wanted to help out the girls, and two almost died because of it."
She still could not believe she told someone she'd only known a few months about the fight that almost killed her had Rebekah not interfered and revived most of her with her own soul. Then the tears fell as the memory continued, her hands now holding his cold, lifeless own...
"I... I'm in love... and it hurts sometimes" she started as he kissed her forehead, and looked back into her eyes with a smile. She took a deep breath, not sure what else to tell him, until an encouraging nod from him meant for her to keep talking.
Karl, to death I dearly love Elibeth, Johannes, and Rekah. We've been together all our lives, through thick and thin, Birthday parties and funerals. We've suffered together, we've laughed together, we've cried together, we've fought together. Til death I will always love these girls, these sisters that they've become for me.
"But I swore I'd never fall in love and suffer the pain that Rekah felt. Her heart was broken simply because she took care of Johannes.
"You... you're the reason I changed in such a strange way. For the first time, I felt more... dare I say, vulnerable than I'd like to admit. I felt my heart be happy, at the same moment I felt that same heart break. And God forbid something ever dare happened to you, I wouldn't know what to do, how to act, what to think.
"And I think I'm beginning to realize that, this must be what love does to people. It makes people really see how much they're truly worth.
"It scares me to think this but... but I love you a bit much more than I love my sisters."
"I guess I owe you a confession myself" Karl whispered after he had kissed along the scar again. "Well then, where to begin, where to begin..." Anneke blinked watching his every move.
"For one" he said, straddling her again, "you look damn beautiful like that." With a smile he grabbed his camera and, as she giggled for a moment, turned the camera on. "This one is going in my own little photo album." With that he took a picture of the beautiful, bashful woman. Putting his camera to the side, he lied down beside her again and smiled.
"Two, that tie looks sooo much better on you than on me" he admitted as he ran a finger down her cheek, along her neck, which made her giggle.
"I love your smile, I love your laugh, I love how your eyes just glow when there's a case of moonlight about. I love the way you look, I love the way you think, I love all of that and more than I could count at the moment. I...
"I couldn't love anyone else that couldn't be you" he admitted. "And for me I don't want anyone else. For me, there is you, and that is all there is to it.
"So I guess, what I'm trying to say is... that... I love you too."
Anneke opened her eyes to see the tearstains on the bedding, his shirt, her own attire. She'd turned into a downright mess of emotions. Who knew that behind the laughter, the humor and joy she had for everyone... lived the despair of being alone for the rest of her life? The fear had faded away when they confessed their love for each other; her heart was very happy. This moment, however, was anything but cheerful--it was the darkest moment since the takeover of the Darkstrom. The death of Elizabeth and Johannes' parents. The fight that almost killed her. The capture and imprisonment in Lisbon.
The life she'd felt so far... she didn't deserve that happiness...
She was a strange goofball, her sense of humor could've kept her friends laughing for hours. But she was also always prepared for anything.
Or so, she thought she was. But she was nowhere near prepared for what happened to her that night, when the braids at last came undone and she was willingly unable to stop whatever was going on.
Finally her gaze fell to her still-slumbering companion, still dressed except his shirt was no longer tucked in. She still wore his tie, wondering if she should tie it back on him, but the thought perished as she turned on her back to face the morning sky again.
Why'd I let him love me this way?
The thought crossed her mind as she closed her eyes, crossing her arms behind her head as a pillow. Why did she allow him to be with her, when she'd shunned at the thought of love nearly all of her life? What was it about him that brought her to lowering just about all of her defenses? Was it the way they connected in a way they couldn't connect with anyone else? Did they see something in each other past the silly reputations, the humorous laughter in front of and behind the cameras? She couldn't really think much more on the matter, until she felt someone's head rest against her heart, arms wrapped around her tightly. But she didn't open her eyes right away--she knew whose mind was well set against the love of his angel, whose arms wouldn't let go of her for even all the world.
A giggle finally escaped her lips, but it was a soft one, not the usual fit-happy laugh she usually had. Her hands still in his, the mensch-maschinr kissed along her left ear, near the scar she had suffered. Meanwhile her giggled softly quieted down, and she smiled contentedly, basking in his affection. This wasn't what she had grown to know as a child or teenager, but it was definitely something she could get used to.
After a while longer she took his face in her hands and smiled. "By the way, you're the first person since my Father who's ever seen me without my braids and ribbons" she said softly. Karl blinked, slightly stunned, but she still smiled.
"You should realize that, it's an honor. I don't even let Elibeth see me without 'em!" she noted.
His shock died down, and he smiled back, hugging her tightly. Then his eyes met hers again.
"My dearest Anya" he whispered. "My angel, my princess."
Words were finally rendered useless as his lips met hers, and she wasn't sure if either her lips smiled into the kiss or if her heart did. But whatever her heart was feeling, however strong or sweet it felt, whatever it was, she felt it was very, very nice...
"Karl" she whispered as tears fell down her cheeks, "why'd you have to do this to me?" Mournfully she lied down on the bed and hugged his lifeless body to her.
"You're... so cold..."
The sentence escaped her lips as she let go of him and turned on her side, facing the window. The world outside was beautiful and, after all that had just happened, she felt she'd no part in it anymore, for whatever reason arose. It was as if her entire world had fallen apart, and she was stuck in the middle of its ruins.
Something inside her--pure self-despair, the feeling that life was no longer worth living--caused her to take out his pocket knife and, going to the mirror, look at her own reflection. Taking off the high collar that covered her neck and placing it aside, she undid the top buttons of her coat to reveal the scar of the battle that could've done her in. Kissing the blade without a shard of remorse, she carefully reopened the wound, the slash bleeding cautiously for the first time in years. Placing the knife beside the collar she removed her locket then, placing that aside, went to the bed and took the tie off of Karl. After putting the tie loosely on her own neck, she went to the window one last time. Then she went back to the bed and, lying down on her side, faced the window.
"Oh happy world" she whispered with a smile of misery, "you can have your blessed freedom. You can have whatever the hell you want.
"But rest assured, you will never have me."
Lying on her back she stared at the ceiling for a moment. After she prayed to the Creator above for forgiveness, she closed her eyes, clasping her hands on her chest, cried her last few tears.
Then she fell asleep, awaiting to join Karl at the gates of death.
*writer's note--memory excerpts for Lisbon, onboard the Trans-Europa, and Venice are from, respectively, Chapter 2 [We Are The Robots], Chapter 16 [...to the Heart of the Moment], Chapter 17 [Confessions], and Chapter 18 [Recollections].*
Quietly she made her humble decision and, leaving Johannes to sleep, left to find her beloved's room. As she closed the door, she felt the chill in the room, took it all into her soul. To her it was as if it was the very chill of death--the chill of death that overtook Karl, the chill of death that would soon overtake her. Then she turned to look at him, and tears flooded her eyes when she saw his lifeless body wired to the machines that either kept him alive or prepared him for his funeral.
"This..." she said softly to herself "can't be... happening..."
Going to the window at the other side of the room she saw the lights that shone brightly in Düsseldorf, her hometown. It glowed beautifully as it used to be in the past, yet to her it meant nothing. Not while Karl was dead. She never wanted this to happen--that she'd return home but her soul'd lost all feeling. Leaning her forehead against the window, she looked out the window to see Alessandro and Fritz outside, walking to the town ahead of them. The orphan was dressed as the guys were--he himself was a Mensch-Maschine in spirit and form. His glitch attacks came as an infant, but he overcame them boldly and grew up to be a cheerful 12-year-old with the respect and charm of a young boy.
"Someday" she whispered softly, "the boy will have a family. I can feel it."
Turning away to look at Karl, she went and sat down at the side of the bed, her face gazing painfully at his lifeless own. Who was she to think that miracles were possible now, given the circumstances she'd faced throughout her entire life? Her best friend since childhood witnessed the death of her parents as a child. Her best friend's younger sister was born blind, with no hope of sight possible for her. And the youngest of the Quartet was afraid at almost everything. But what... what about the Anneke that grew up? She'd faced life alone as her working-class parents worked so hard to support the family, if not for her three dearest friends. But all she knew was just that--her best friends, Düsseldorf as it used to be.
Yet, recalling the memory, it all changed when, as the girls were about to leave Lisbon...
Anneke walked up to KW310552, her eyes a bit solemn in case he meant trouble. Her stern glare soon turned into a giggly grin when he made a funny face. Suddenly, she no longer felt like she had to be on high alert around him as he extended a hand to her.
"Hallo, my name is Karl" he spoke. "And you are?"
"Anneke Weldenta" she answered, her hand now in his. "Are you going to be with us on the Trans-Europa?"
Karl nodded. "Absolutely, Miss Anneke."
She'd remembered the charm in his smile. He was always adorable, how he forgot her name at first when the train started for Paris, how whatever he wanted to say died when his blue eyes met hers. She remembered his blue eyes, his adorable smile, his silly sense of humor which matched--and at times rivaled--hers, his funny respect for the camera. She remembered so much about him, but in particular things had begun to change one night in Venice not so long ago...
"Hide what must be hid, tell what must be told."
Karl's words echoed in her head. What was she to do? Should she think through her words or simply spill out her heart?
Suddenly she felt a tie being tied loosely around her neck, and her gaze looked up to his smiling face.
"I kinda wondered if that tie looked better on you than on me" the Roboter said, keeping the tie loose around her neck. He had his top two buttons undone, and a faint scar had shown at the base of his neck.
"...what happened there, Karl?" she asked, glancing to the scar.
"That was from the accident that... that almost killed me" he replied sadly. Curious she opened one more button to see the extent of the scar. It was only enough to scar the shoulder, yet it missed his heart. But, of course, the circumstances of that injury could've been much worse also.
Quietly she undid the back buttons of her high collar, and one button from each side of her coat, revealing a scar that started just below her left ear, running down the side of the neck, over her collarbone, stopping just above where her heart was.
"This" she explained "was when I fought against the enemy in the beginning of their invasion. One of the Troopers almost killed me. Rekah had to heal me before taking care of anything else. The girl almost died." She then sat down on the grass, hugging her knees to her chest. "I wanted to help out the girls, and two almost died because of it."
She still could not believe she told someone she'd only known a few months about the fight that almost killed her had Rebekah not interfered and revived most of her with her own soul. Then the tears fell as the memory continued, her hands now holding his cold, lifeless own...
"I... I'm in love... and it hurts sometimes" she started as he kissed her forehead, and looked back into her eyes with a smile. She took a deep breath, not sure what else to tell him, until an encouraging nod from him meant for her to keep talking.
Karl, to death I dearly love Elibeth, Johannes, and Rekah. We've been together all our lives, through thick and thin, Birthday parties and funerals. We've suffered together, we've laughed together, we've cried together, we've fought together. Til death I will always love these girls, these sisters that they've become for me.
"But I swore I'd never fall in love and suffer the pain that Rekah felt. Her heart was broken simply because she took care of Johannes.
"You... you're the reason I changed in such a strange way. For the first time, I felt more... dare I say, vulnerable than I'd like to admit. I felt my heart be happy, at the same moment I felt that same heart break. And God forbid something ever dare happened to you, I wouldn't know what to do, how to act, what to think.
"And I think I'm beginning to realize that, this must be what love does to people. It makes people really see how much they're truly worth.
"It scares me to think this but... but I love you a bit much more than I love my sisters."
"I guess I owe you a confession myself" Karl whispered after he had kissed along the scar again. "Well then, where to begin, where to begin..." Anneke blinked watching his every move.
"For one" he said, straddling her again, "you look damn beautiful like that." With a smile he grabbed his camera and, as she giggled for a moment, turned the camera on. "This one is going in my own little photo album." With that he took a picture of the beautiful, bashful woman. Putting his camera to the side, he lied down beside her again and smiled.
"Two, that tie looks sooo much better on you than on me" he admitted as he ran a finger down her cheek, along her neck, which made her giggle.
"I love your smile, I love your laugh, I love how your eyes just glow when there's a case of moonlight about. I love the way you look, I love the way you think, I love all of that and more than I could count at the moment. I...
"I couldn't love anyone else that couldn't be you" he admitted. "And for me I don't want anyone else. For me, there is you, and that is all there is to it.
"So I guess, what I'm trying to say is... that... I love you too."
Anneke opened her eyes to see the tearstains on the bedding, his shirt, her own attire. She'd turned into a downright mess of emotions. Who knew that behind the laughter, the humor and joy she had for everyone... lived the despair of being alone for the rest of her life? The fear had faded away when they confessed their love for each other; her heart was very happy. This moment, however, was anything but cheerful--it was the darkest moment since the takeover of the Darkstrom. The death of Elizabeth and Johannes' parents. The fight that almost killed her. The capture and imprisonment in Lisbon.
The life she'd felt so far... she didn't deserve that happiness...
She was a strange goofball, her sense of humor could've kept her friends laughing for hours. But she was also always prepared for anything.
Or so, she thought she was. But she was nowhere near prepared for what happened to her that night, when the braids at last came undone and she was willingly unable to stop whatever was going on.
Finally her gaze fell to her still-slumbering companion, still dressed except his shirt was no longer tucked in. She still wore his tie, wondering if she should tie it back on him, but the thought perished as she turned on her back to face the morning sky again.
Why'd I let him love me this way?
The thought crossed her mind as she closed her eyes, crossing her arms behind her head as a pillow. Why did she allow him to be with her, when she'd shunned at the thought of love nearly all of her life? What was it about him that brought her to lowering just about all of her defenses? Was it the way they connected in a way they couldn't connect with anyone else? Did they see something in each other past the silly reputations, the humorous laughter in front of and behind the cameras? She couldn't really think much more on the matter, until she felt someone's head rest against her heart, arms wrapped around her tightly. But she didn't open her eyes right away--she knew whose mind was well set against the love of his angel, whose arms wouldn't let go of her for even all the world.
A giggle finally escaped her lips, but it was a soft one, not the usual fit-happy laugh she usually had. Her hands still in his, the mensch-maschinr kissed along her left ear, near the scar she had suffered. Meanwhile her giggled softly quieted down, and she smiled contentedly, basking in his affection. This wasn't what she had grown to know as a child or teenager, but it was definitely something she could get used to.
After a while longer she took his face in her hands and smiled. "By the way, you're the first person since my Father who's ever seen me without my braids and ribbons" she said softly. Karl blinked, slightly stunned, but she still smiled.
"You should realize that, it's an honor. I don't even let Elibeth see me without 'em!" she noted.
His shock died down, and he smiled back, hugging her tightly. Then his eyes met hers again.
"My dearest Anya" he whispered. "My angel, my princess."
Words were finally rendered useless as his lips met hers, and she wasn't sure if either her lips smiled into the kiss or if her heart did. But whatever her heart was feeling, however strong or sweet it felt, whatever it was, she felt it was very, very nice...
"Karl" she whispered as tears fell down her cheeks, "why'd you have to do this to me?" Mournfully she lied down on the bed and hugged his lifeless body to her.
"You're... so cold..."
The sentence escaped her lips as she let go of him and turned on her side, facing the window. The world outside was beautiful and, after all that had just happened, she felt she'd no part in it anymore, for whatever reason arose. It was as if her entire world had fallen apart, and she was stuck in the middle of its ruins.
Something inside her--pure self-despair, the feeling that life was no longer worth living--caused her to take out his pocket knife and, going to the mirror, look at her own reflection. Taking off the high collar that covered her neck and placing it aside, she undid the top buttons of her coat to reveal the scar of the battle that could've done her in. Kissing the blade without a shard of remorse, she carefully reopened the wound, the slash bleeding cautiously for the first time in years. Placing the knife beside the collar she removed her locket then, placing that aside, went to the bed and took the tie off of Karl. After putting the tie loosely on her own neck, she went to the window one last time. Then she went back to the bed and, lying down on her side, faced the window.
"Oh happy world" she whispered with a smile of misery, "you can have your blessed freedom. You can have whatever the hell you want.
"But rest assured, you will never have me."
Lying on her back she stared at the ceiling for a moment. After she prayed to the Creator above for forgiveness, she closed her eyes, clasping her hands on her chest, cried her last few tears.
Then she fell asleep, awaiting to join Karl at the gates of death.
*writer's note--memory excerpts for Lisbon, onboard the Trans-Europa, and Venice are from, respectively, Chapter 2 [We Are The Robots], Chapter 16 [...to the Heart of the Moment], Chapter 17 [Confessions], and Chapter 18 [Recollections].*
05 December 2007
Chapter 27: Ein Licht, Das Nie Erlischt [A Light That Never Goes Out] - Rebekah.
Rebekah quietly walked into Wolfgang's room and closed the door. She had sat quietly until the silence was no longer unbearable in the waiting room, and she stood up, leaving Anneke to care for Johannes.
Memories of her boyfriend slumping over... coughing blood in the severity of his wounds... the image brought back the coward in her that once died. Amazing how one person could cause a heart to be joyful... cause a heart to be miserable...
"Wolfgang!" she cried, clasping his hands with one hand while trying to heal one of the new bullet wounds with her other hand. Some sense of emergency had caused her to attempt to get through to him, to fix whatever injuries had arisen. But something was wrong--terribly wrong.
"...Lilibeth, Annie... we've got a big problem" she said in a scared tone of voice, looking to her neighbor and good friend.
"What is it, Rekah?" Anneke asked with an alarmed face.
"I... it seems I can't heal Wolfgang's wounds" she answered. "My power's not working. Something's wrong."
"Oh God" her neighbor whispered as Rebekah pleaded for her boyfriend to stay alive and hang on.
Sitting down on the side of the bed, her gaze fixed to the empty space of the wall. How could anyone suffer what had happened and survive? To her, the concept of pain made absolutely no sense at all. So many thoughts raced through her head, and she wasn't sure if she could keep up with them. And who was she to attempt to stick to even one thought that tried to fly past her?
Her once-full heart now broken, Rebekah turned to face her dying boyfriend. She quietly whispered his name and, after drying some of her own tears away, undid his tie and buttons from his shirt. As she undid the buttons her eyes caught something she hadn't seen since the first night in Paris weeks if not months ago...
"Oh my God... the string... it's still there..." she whispered as she remembered the incident that caused the string to be sewn into the one she loved--
"This" she said as she strung the thread through the needle, "might hurt a little bit."
"It's nothing I'm not worried over, Rebekah" he replied with a weary smile.
With that she took a deep breath and put down the needle and thread for a moment, and poured some antiseptic over him. She closed her eyes, said a quick prayer, and took up the needle and thread again. Opening her eyes, she glanced at his hand, which, miraculously, had the bullet.
"How the hell..." she asked, but shook her head at last. Putting the kit on the table to the side, and placing the bullet in the first-aid pocket, she carefully removed his bloodstained coat, tie and shirt. Placing them at the foot of the bed, she picked up the needle and thread, took one more deep breath, and began to sew up the tear on his skin.
She was very careful in sewing up his wound. Her expertise in being a seamstress for patchwork and sewing up small emblems came as an experience in the concentration camp. She looked at his face, watching for any sign of pain or weakness, careful not to inflict pain unintentionally. A sense of deep worry overcame her and, while she kept a steady hand over the needle and thread, her eyes now fixed over the needle and thread, filling with tears.
"Ah--ah, ouch..." he finally cried out softly, a slight twinge of pain getting to him at last, and she blinked as tears finally spilt.
"Oh my God!!" she cried out, putting aside the needle and thread. "I'm very sorry, Wolfgang!" She reached for the box to hunt down the numbing ice, which she totally forgot about, but he grabbed her hand. She looked at him, blinking.
"...no, it's okay, Rebekah" he said.
"Yes but, you're injured on account of me!!" she answered. "The least I can do is try to fix your wounds!!"
"They will heal on their own. Not so quickly, but they will heal" he replied. "You can remove the needle and the rest of the string now."
She carefully ran her finger along the sewn pattern on his chest, circling around where the wound had once been. She closed her eyes and, leaning over, planted a tender kiss on the old wound, remembering the memory further, how she felt that, if she couldn't help him then she was of no use to him...
"Not really, Rebekah" he answered, pulling her closer to him so he could look her in the eyes. "Not at all."
Rebekah stared into his brown eyes, her own green eyes still drowning in tears. What was it she saw in his eyes, that in her own being she denied herself? Had she fallen for him while she tried to fix him? Did he fall for her because she was brave enough to step out of her comfort zone and actually try to fix whatever wounds he had? Or did his admiration over her begin when they met outside of the Trans-Europa? In any case, whatever was there between them, there was something that couldn't be denied at any instant.
Wolfgang tried to sit up, for despite the pain, he wanted more than anything to kiss her.
"You're not sitting up, damnit!!" she exclaimed. "Not with the wounds you have!!" But he only pulled her closer to him, wrapping her in his arms. While she had the hearted ambition for him, at this point, she was not amused!! But at last, she finally gave up and sighed, just looking at him.
"One thing you must understand about a mensch-maschine is," he said, "when they intend to do something, they do it."
She sobbed quietly against his chest, her own hands gripping his shirt. Why... why did he have to give up his own life so she could live, when there wasn't much meaning to life now that he was gone? She had lost the courage that kept her strong in the face of chaos; he had been the reason why she stood her ground, became the daring woman he fell for as he'd fallen for the cowardly woman-child she once was. But even worse than cowardice was what she felt as failure--failure to heal his injuries, to fix his wounds, to keep him alive.
"I could not save you" she whispered sadly, "I've failed you. I'm so sorry, Wolfgang... I'm so sorry."
She traced the finger along the stringed pattern again, and closed her eyes, another bittersweet memory she soon relived; she recalled the night back in Vienna...
"Rebekah!!"
She turned to see Wolfgang, now at a distance before her. "What happened!?" he asked as he ran to her. "You could've been killed!! What the hell possessed you to just disappear like that!?"
"When..." she said softly, "when you were talking with Andelina. And the girls. And I..."
The semi-human being's face softened from upset to worried. "You got jealous, didn't you?"
She remembered the look on his face, the fear in his own eyes. Fear of losing the one truly good thing in his life. She never meant to wander through the town in her own anger like that, but she couldn't think much else to do otherwise. She gained the courage to open her eyes and, as tears spilt on the string and flesh, shook her head softly. She never meant to cause him pain, yet twice she'd done so. Finally she lied down on the bed beside him, her body facing his, as she held him against her... the memory returning further...
He wrapped his arms around her waist and carried her to the nearest park at the outskirts of the city. With that he sat her down on a park bench as he knelt before her, wiping tears off her cheeks with his hands.
"Es ist gut, Schatz... it's alright, sweetheart" he whispered as he dried her tears and looked up at the pale, rosecheeked face and the bright green eyes that adorned them perfectly. "It's okay... my days of being Mr. Flirtatious have ended the moment I saw you courageously step out from behind your friend that day... at the station..." His train of thought died when he lowered her head to kiss her lips. All was well until he lost his balanced and fell back, pulling Rebekah with him. She fell on top of him blinking, but he didn't wince in pain as he wrapped her in his arms.
"You okay there, Wolfgang?" she asked. He nodded and, with a smile, kissed the tip of her nose. She wiggled her nose, giggling as the mensch-maschine laughed softly.
"I am so much in love with you, Rebekah," he whispered, "so much in love and... there isn't a damn thing to be done to change that."
"You mean this?" she asked, a curious smile crossing her face.
He nodded--"My life and my wires on it, sweetheart."
He'd truly given his life, his wires now worse for wear, entirely all for her. Up until he met her, he'd only thought of himself and his best friends, his fellow Roboter. But then she came into his life... and he miraculously changed for the better. Andelina knew this. Karl witnessed it firsthand. The youngest of the Quartet had been the brightest influence of his very life.
But her light of hope had dimmed as his life faded away before her.
"Wolfgang..." she whispered, "you were always kind to me... you looked out for me like no one else had. You inspired me to be strong, to never back down again.
"I never thought... I'd have to watch you die in front of me.
"So... the great Creator has decided to... to further my misery, to try to test my courage... by having to go through this world without you in my life. But I... I don't want to...
"I don't want to live in this world alone!
"I don't care if we're in Düsseldorf--what all does that matter to me anymore if... if you're not here with me..."
After sobbing to herself some more, she lied down on her back, clasping his hand in hers, and closed her eyes.
"If the Creator wants to take you from me" she mourned, "then don't forget the other half of your soul... please, take me with you..."
Patiently she waited for him to die, waited for her own death to pass beside him.
...but, that did not come to pass.
Morning had broken as Rebekah felt what was as if the reversal of the memory in Vienna, as her cheeks were adorned with kisses. But she wouldn't open her eyes at first to recall the memory, to see who it was on top of her with arms holding her fragile body gently--her eyes still welled up with tears. Yet as the tears fell over the sides of her face she slowly remembered the warmth of his own soul against the courage of her own heart, and she felt her own strength returning at a calm pace.
Carefully trailing a finger down his chest she felt something that made her eyes open wide--string, a pattern sewn on him so familiarly, on his chest. And immediately she glanced to the wound, then to the face of the one she loved.
"You're...!" she spoke, but the words died before she could say further.
But Wolfgang just smiled and, touching her girlfriend's tearstained face, kissed her forehead. "About time you woke up, Sweetheart" he whispered softly as he held her body tightly against his. "I was afraid you'd never open them again."
"But that was... because I thought you died," she explained inbetween her own tears as she hugged him to her. "I hoped to die myself, so I could stay with you. I didn't want to face the cruel world outside alone. I didn't have the strength or courage to do it anymore."
"And so you chose to rather die than to live without me?" he asked, a worried look now on his face.
"Even if I had my two neighbors and my wacky buddy to stand beside me... it would not be as it was when we left Lisbon" she answered. "Without you guys, it would just be as if we'd never met--just us four girls against the world, the guys in this town would simply mock us mercilessly and we'd try everything in our power to ignore them. But when they simply say that we girls are nothing more than a blind girl and her band of merry seeing sisters, it's... it's an insult that hurts me more than anything.
"I never wanted to fall in love with anyone because of that. The men in this town, they're cold. Heartless. They do not understand.
"You... were the first person... to ever understand me... for ME. Not what anyone else said about me, except for Andy of course. But still. I...
"I had no hope in living if I were to resume my life in the fear that you died and there was nothing I could do to fix that.
"And so, disregarding my three best friends, I simply longed to die. Here, beside you. I waited for you to die, I waited for myself to shut down."
Her boyfriend watched and, as tears filled his eyes, shook his head. "I... can't believe you'd want to do that!" he cried against her shoulder. "I swear, I never meant to cause you tears, to hurt you in any way. You know that, Sweetheart... you know that. You know I'd never want to leave you alone in your misery!"
After a moment of his own sharing of the tears, he looked her in the eyes.
"Rebekah Novalee..." he spoke again, "my heart, it's yours. It's been yours. And I'd rather shut myself down than to ever hurt you in any way whatsoever. I love you much more than you think I do.
"I fought with self-control back in Athens. I'm still fighting to keep it in check, because you inspired me with your honor and innocence, your courage and your self-respect."
He finally took her hands in his and kissed them tenderly, still smiling warmly at her. "One day, Sweetheart, I hope to call you my wife" he admitted. "It's going to happen. I just know it."
His girlfriend's eyes widened. "You... you actually want to marry me!?" she whispered, trying to register everything that was going on at the very moment. There he was, the man she loved, alive and well--being honest that he wanted to marry her!!
He nodded. "Don't forget what I told you on that train to Athens--that you'll always be the first in my heart" he said with a smile.
She smiled back, but only for a moment. "And Wolfgang," she spoke softly, "if you get injured again... I won't be able to heal you, will I?"
"How so, angel?" he asked, his face alarmed.
"When... after the fight ended... when you guys all collapsed due to your injuries, I couldn't use my power. It wasn't working on you guys. It worked on Lilibeth and Annie... but not on you."
"That was because we had to heal on our own" he explained. "We'd turned into full-spirited Mensch-Maschinen but, we had to face our own inner death... our own worst fears... only to come back and, along with it, rightly bear our hearts."
"--wait, heart--you have a heart now!!" she exclaimed with a big hug. "Can I hear its beating for a moment!?"
Wolfgang laughed as his girfriend grinned. But her composure quickly returned and she blinked. "And... I probably won't be able to heal you anymore, will I?"
"I don't know" he said, pulling out his pocket knife and making a little slash on his finger. "Want to test out the theory now?" he then asked, looking to her.
Rebekah took a deep breath and, holding his hand and pressing her lips carefully to the cut on his finger in, perhaps, the boldest move she'd ever made. Closing her eyes she carefully sucked some of the blood that had already spilt down his finger. Wolfgang simply stared in wonder as a light current of energy surged through his finger. After a few seconds more she kissed the now-healed cut, and he ran that finger along her mouth, stunned that she was able to heal him again.
"Didn't... taste like... sprocket oil or anything, I hope?" he asked, making a face.
"Nope" she answered, licking her lips for a second. "Tastes like blood to me." With that she shrugged and smiled. "But at least the theory's now a proven fact."
"Whew!" he replied. "Good. Now that the theory's been proven..."
"Yeahuh?" she asked, raising a brow.
"How about some breakfast?" he said with a smile.
But as she had missed being with him, the last thing she wanted to do was eat. Now that he was alive, she had other plans for the moment.
"Actually... I had other plans in mind" she answered.
"Oh?" he asked, puzzled. "How so? Like what?"
"Well... there's something else I'd rather do with my mouth... like taste something a bit sweeter... that DOESN'T taste like blood..." she said wistfully.
He raised a brow. "Oh really!?"
"Yeah. Really" she answered with a proud smile.
"Like what?"
"Like your sweet mouth!" she said amusingly as she pulled his mouth down to hers. A small smile hid within his own heart as he gladly kissed his beloved--one of surprise over how boldly she'd acted, as well as cheerfully. For him, she was all the more sweeter than he'd ever asked for, the love he felt he didn't deserve yet was rightfully granted.
*writer's note--memory excerpts for Paris and Vienna are from, respectively, Chapter 4 [A Misadventure in Paris] and Chapter 9 [An Early Evening Memory].*
Memories of her boyfriend slumping over... coughing blood in the severity of his wounds... the image brought back the coward in her that once died. Amazing how one person could cause a heart to be joyful... cause a heart to be miserable...
"Wolfgang!" she cried, clasping his hands with one hand while trying to heal one of the new bullet wounds with her other hand. Some sense of emergency had caused her to attempt to get through to him, to fix whatever injuries had arisen. But something was wrong--terribly wrong.
"...Lilibeth, Annie... we've got a big problem" she said in a scared tone of voice, looking to her neighbor and good friend.
"What is it, Rekah?" Anneke asked with an alarmed face.
"I... it seems I can't heal Wolfgang's wounds" she answered. "My power's not working. Something's wrong."
"Oh God" her neighbor whispered as Rebekah pleaded for her boyfriend to stay alive and hang on.
Sitting down on the side of the bed, her gaze fixed to the empty space of the wall. How could anyone suffer what had happened and survive? To her, the concept of pain made absolutely no sense at all. So many thoughts raced through her head, and she wasn't sure if she could keep up with them. And who was she to attempt to stick to even one thought that tried to fly past her?
Her once-full heart now broken, Rebekah turned to face her dying boyfriend. She quietly whispered his name and, after drying some of her own tears away, undid his tie and buttons from his shirt. As she undid the buttons her eyes caught something she hadn't seen since the first night in Paris weeks if not months ago...
"Oh my God... the string... it's still there..." she whispered as she remembered the incident that caused the string to be sewn into the one she loved--
"This" she said as she strung the thread through the needle, "might hurt a little bit."
"It's nothing I'm not worried over, Rebekah" he replied with a weary smile.
With that she took a deep breath and put down the needle and thread for a moment, and poured some antiseptic over him. She closed her eyes, said a quick prayer, and took up the needle and thread again. Opening her eyes, she glanced at his hand, which, miraculously, had the bullet.
"How the hell..." she asked, but shook her head at last. Putting the kit on the table to the side, and placing the bullet in the first-aid pocket, she carefully removed his bloodstained coat, tie and shirt. Placing them at the foot of the bed, she picked up the needle and thread, took one more deep breath, and began to sew up the tear on his skin.
She was very careful in sewing up his wound. Her expertise in being a seamstress for patchwork and sewing up small emblems came as an experience in the concentration camp. She looked at his face, watching for any sign of pain or weakness, careful not to inflict pain unintentionally. A sense of deep worry overcame her and, while she kept a steady hand over the needle and thread, her eyes now fixed over the needle and thread, filling with tears.
"Ah--ah, ouch..." he finally cried out softly, a slight twinge of pain getting to him at last, and she blinked as tears finally spilt.
"Oh my God!!" she cried out, putting aside the needle and thread. "I'm very sorry, Wolfgang!" She reached for the box to hunt down the numbing ice, which she totally forgot about, but he grabbed her hand. She looked at him, blinking.
"...no, it's okay, Rebekah" he said.
"Yes but, you're injured on account of me!!" she answered. "The least I can do is try to fix your wounds!!"
"They will heal on their own. Not so quickly, but they will heal" he replied. "You can remove the needle and the rest of the string now."
She carefully ran her finger along the sewn pattern on his chest, circling around where the wound had once been. She closed her eyes and, leaning over, planted a tender kiss on the old wound, remembering the memory further, how she felt that, if she couldn't help him then she was of no use to him...
"Not really, Rebekah" he answered, pulling her closer to him so he could look her in the eyes. "Not at all."
Rebekah stared into his brown eyes, her own green eyes still drowning in tears. What was it she saw in his eyes, that in her own being she denied herself? Had she fallen for him while she tried to fix him? Did he fall for her because she was brave enough to step out of her comfort zone and actually try to fix whatever wounds he had? Or did his admiration over her begin when they met outside of the Trans-Europa? In any case, whatever was there between them, there was something that couldn't be denied at any instant.
Wolfgang tried to sit up, for despite the pain, he wanted more than anything to kiss her.
"You're not sitting up, damnit!!" she exclaimed. "Not with the wounds you have!!" But he only pulled her closer to him, wrapping her in his arms. While she had the hearted ambition for him, at this point, she was not amused!! But at last, she finally gave up and sighed, just looking at him.
"One thing you must understand about a mensch-maschine is," he said, "when they intend to do something, they do it."
She sobbed quietly against his chest, her own hands gripping his shirt. Why... why did he have to give up his own life so she could live, when there wasn't much meaning to life now that he was gone? She had lost the courage that kept her strong in the face of chaos; he had been the reason why she stood her ground, became the daring woman he fell for as he'd fallen for the cowardly woman-child she once was. But even worse than cowardice was what she felt as failure--failure to heal his injuries, to fix his wounds, to keep him alive.
"I could not save you" she whispered sadly, "I've failed you. I'm so sorry, Wolfgang... I'm so sorry."
She traced the finger along the stringed pattern again, and closed her eyes, another bittersweet memory she soon relived; she recalled the night back in Vienna...
"Rebekah!!"
She turned to see Wolfgang, now at a distance before her. "What happened!?" he asked as he ran to her. "You could've been killed!! What the hell possessed you to just disappear like that!?"
"When..." she said softly, "when you were talking with Andelina. And the girls. And I..."
The semi-human being's face softened from upset to worried. "You got jealous, didn't you?"
She remembered the look on his face, the fear in his own eyes. Fear of losing the one truly good thing in his life. She never meant to wander through the town in her own anger like that, but she couldn't think much else to do otherwise. She gained the courage to open her eyes and, as tears spilt on the string and flesh, shook her head softly. She never meant to cause him pain, yet twice she'd done so. Finally she lied down on the bed beside him, her body facing his, as she held him against her... the memory returning further...
He wrapped his arms around her waist and carried her to the nearest park at the outskirts of the city. With that he sat her down on a park bench as he knelt before her, wiping tears off her cheeks with his hands.
"Es ist gut, Schatz... it's alright, sweetheart" he whispered as he dried her tears and looked up at the pale, rosecheeked face and the bright green eyes that adorned them perfectly. "It's okay... my days of being Mr. Flirtatious have ended the moment I saw you courageously step out from behind your friend that day... at the station..." His train of thought died when he lowered her head to kiss her lips. All was well until he lost his balanced and fell back, pulling Rebekah with him. She fell on top of him blinking, but he didn't wince in pain as he wrapped her in his arms.
"You okay there, Wolfgang?" she asked. He nodded and, with a smile, kissed the tip of her nose. She wiggled her nose, giggling as the mensch-maschine laughed softly.
"I am so much in love with you, Rebekah," he whispered, "so much in love and... there isn't a damn thing to be done to change that."
"You mean this?" she asked, a curious smile crossing her face.
He nodded--"My life and my wires on it, sweetheart."
He'd truly given his life, his wires now worse for wear, entirely all for her. Up until he met her, he'd only thought of himself and his best friends, his fellow Roboter. But then she came into his life... and he miraculously changed for the better. Andelina knew this. Karl witnessed it firsthand. The youngest of the Quartet had been the brightest influence of his very life.
But her light of hope had dimmed as his life faded away before her.
"Wolfgang..." she whispered, "you were always kind to me... you looked out for me like no one else had. You inspired me to be strong, to never back down again.
"I never thought... I'd have to watch you die in front of me.
"So... the great Creator has decided to... to further my misery, to try to test my courage... by having to go through this world without you in my life. But I... I don't want to...
"I don't want to live in this world alone!
"I don't care if we're in Düsseldorf--what all does that matter to me anymore if... if you're not here with me..."
After sobbing to herself some more, she lied down on her back, clasping his hand in hers, and closed her eyes.
"If the Creator wants to take you from me" she mourned, "then don't forget the other half of your soul... please, take me with you..."
Patiently she waited for him to die, waited for her own death to pass beside him.
...but, that did not come to pass.
Morning had broken as Rebekah felt what was as if the reversal of the memory in Vienna, as her cheeks were adorned with kisses. But she wouldn't open her eyes at first to recall the memory, to see who it was on top of her with arms holding her fragile body gently--her eyes still welled up with tears. Yet as the tears fell over the sides of her face she slowly remembered the warmth of his own soul against the courage of her own heart, and she felt her own strength returning at a calm pace.
Carefully trailing a finger down his chest she felt something that made her eyes open wide--string, a pattern sewn on him so familiarly, on his chest. And immediately she glanced to the wound, then to the face of the one she loved.
"You're...!" she spoke, but the words died before she could say further.
But Wolfgang just smiled and, touching her girlfriend's tearstained face, kissed her forehead. "About time you woke up, Sweetheart" he whispered softly as he held her body tightly against his. "I was afraid you'd never open them again."
"But that was... because I thought you died," she explained inbetween her own tears as she hugged him to her. "I hoped to die myself, so I could stay with you. I didn't want to face the cruel world outside alone. I didn't have the strength or courage to do it anymore."
"And so you chose to rather die than to live without me?" he asked, a worried look now on his face.
"Even if I had my two neighbors and my wacky buddy to stand beside me... it would not be as it was when we left Lisbon" she answered. "Without you guys, it would just be as if we'd never met--just us four girls against the world, the guys in this town would simply mock us mercilessly and we'd try everything in our power to ignore them. But when they simply say that we girls are nothing more than a blind girl and her band of merry seeing sisters, it's... it's an insult that hurts me more than anything.
"I never wanted to fall in love with anyone because of that. The men in this town, they're cold. Heartless. They do not understand.
"You... were the first person... to ever understand me... for ME. Not what anyone else said about me, except for Andy of course. But still. I...
"I had no hope in living if I were to resume my life in the fear that you died and there was nothing I could do to fix that.
"And so, disregarding my three best friends, I simply longed to die. Here, beside you. I waited for you to die, I waited for myself to shut down."
Her boyfriend watched and, as tears filled his eyes, shook his head. "I... can't believe you'd want to do that!" he cried against her shoulder. "I swear, I never meant to cause you tears, to hurt you in any way. You know that, Sweetheart... you know that. You know I'd never want to leave you alone in your misery!"
After a moment of his own sharing of the tears, he looked her in the eyes.
"Rebekah Novalee..." he spoke again, "my heart, it's yours. It's been yours. And I'd rather shut myself down than to ever hurt you in any way whatsoever. I love you much more than you think I do.
"I fought with self-control back in Athens. I'm still fighting to keep it in check, because you inspired me with your honor and innocence, your courage and your self-respect."
He finally took her hands in his and kissed them tenderly, still smiling warmly at her. "One day, Sweetheart, I hope to call you my wife" he admitted. "It's going to happen. I just know it."
His girlfriend's eyes widened. "You... you actually want to marry me!?" she whispered, trying to register everything that was going on at the very moment. There he was, the man she loved, alive and well--being honest that he wanted to marry her!!
He nodded. "Don't forget what I told you on that train to Athens--that you'll always be the first in my heart" he said with a smile.
She smiled back, but only for a moment. "And Wolfgang," she spoke softly, "if you get injured again... I won't be able to heal you, will I?"
"How so, angel?" he asked, his face alarmed.
"When... after the fight ended... when you guys all collapsed due to your injuries, I couldn't use my power. It wasn't working on you guys. It worked on Lilibeth and Annie... but not on you."
"That was because we had to heal on our own" he explained. "We'd turned into full-spirited Mensch-Maschinen but, we had to face our own inner death... our own worst fears... only to come back and, along with it, rightly bear our hearts."
"--wait, heart--you have a heart now!!" she exclaimed with a big hug. "Can I hear its beating for a moment!?"
Wolfgang laughed as his girfriend grinned. But her composure quickly returned and she blinked. "And... I probably won't be able to heal you anymore, will I?"
"I don't know" he said, pulling out his pocket knife and making a little slash on his finger. "Want to test out the theory now?" he then asked, looking to her.
Rebekah took a deep breath and, holding his hand and pressing her lips carefully to the cut on his finger in, perhaps, the boldest move she'd ever made. Closing her eyes she carefully sucked some of the blood that had already spilt down his finger. Wolfgang simply stared in wonder as a light current of energy surged through his finger. After a few seconds more she kissed the now-healed cut, and he ran that finger along her mouth, stunned that she was able to heal him again.
"Didn't... taste like... sprocket oil or anything, I hope?" he asked, making a face.
"Nope" she answered, licking her lips for a second. "Tastes like blood to me." With that she shrugged and smiled. "But at least the theory's now a proven fact."
"Whew!" he replied. "Good. Now that the theory's been proven..."
"Yeahuh?" she asked, raising a brow.
"How about some breakfast?" he said with a smile.
But as she had missed being with him, the last thing she wanted to do was eat. Now that he was alive, she had other plans for the moment.
"Actually... I had other plans in mind" she answered.
"Oh?" he asked, puzzled. "How so? Like what?"
"Well... there's something else I'd rather do with my mouth... like taste something a bit sweeter... that DOESN'T taste like blood..." she said wistfully.
He raised a brow. "Oh really!?"
"Yeah. Really" she answered with a proud smile.
"Like what?"
"Like your sweet mouth!" she said amusingly as she pulled his mouth down to hers. A small smile hid within his own heart as he gladly kissed his beloved--one of surprise over how boldly she'd acted, as well as cheerfully. For him, she was all the more sweeter than he'd ever asked for, the love he felt he didn't deserve yet was rightfully granted.
*writer's note--memory excerpts for Paris and Vienna are from, respectively, Chapter 4 [A Misadventure in Paris] and Chapter 9 [An Early Evening Memory].*
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