...Ralf, where... where are you?
Mama?
Papa?
Elizabeth?
...where
where are you?
Johannes quietly stumbled in her blindness through the hallway to find Ralf's room. She had cried herself to sleep and, as she was sleeping, her sister and two childhood friends had all left to find their loved ones and to lament over their deaths. The blind woman woke up whispering her older sister's name. Realizing that she was alone, she sighed and, in her misery, felt as if she should just disregard waiting and go find her beloved. But she had more tears to cry and, as she tried to make her way through, she felt her weakness overwhelm her, and she stumbled over her blind steps, falling on the floor a few times.
Finally her intuition kicked into overdrive and, boldly, she got back up and had her hand along the wall and closed doors as she made her way to where her Roboter slept in death. Noting a gap in the wall, she sensed it was the open door to his room and, her hands feeling for the door, she found the doorknob and closed the door to his room. Numbly she felt her way through until she found the bed; she then walked around it to the other side, so as to get a feel of what sort of room she was in. One hand on the bed, the other against the wall... the window... Unable to stand anymore, she sat down on the side of the bed, unsure what to do, how to feel. But whatever it was she felt, it was a pain worse than loneliness.
"...why... do I feel so empty inside?" she asked herself as she felt around the bed with her hand and, to her saddened shock, found one of Ralf's hands.
His hand... is like ice!? she thought to herself as more tears fell down her pale cheeks. Does that mean that... he's...
Unable to finish the thought she let go of his hand and, hugging her knees to her chest, began to sob. Surely he couldn't die--he was a robot! Robots couldn't die! They'd live forever if they wanted to, they'd shut themselves down if they wanted to! But... unlike robots, Ralf was also human, which meant that he could die at any moment, and there'd be nothing that Johannes, as his love, could do about it. Yet if love could bring back anybody from the dead, surely love could bring back even a semi-human being... it had to be possible.
It had to be possible! It just had to be.
"Ralf... I'm... I'm sorry" she whispered. "I'm sorry I have no power to bring you back to me. I'm sorry I'm just this blind woman who's got faith in the future but not in herself. I...
"I will always be alone here, won't I?"
Memories flooded her mind as tears overflowed from her eyes. It all began in Lisbon, and then onboard the Trans-Europa, when in their first conversation together...
"I pray you don't ever end up alone in this life."
"I am not alone, Ralf" she replied. "I am never alone. I have my sister and neighbor and Anneke with me. I have Florian and Wolfgang and Karl with me. And I also have you with me, which is a blessing." A grateful, humble smile appeared on her face.
He smiled back at her, squeezing her hands a bit. "Fräulein Johanne, I promise you, while we're on board the Trans-Europa, I will not let go of your hand."
"But... why?" she asked, confused. "I do not understand."
"That way you know I am with you" he replied. "I want very much for you to be safe, not just around your family but also with me and my friends."
"I suppose it is not a weakness to want to be protected then?" she implied, blushing a bit.
"Not at all, darling" he reaffirmed, kissing her hands.
Johannes mentally cursed herself. Why didn't she beg him to stay instead of him leaving to fight against the enemy only to die? Why did she have to let him go? Perhaps it was better to have to face the world alone, her heart embittered as it was back in Lisbon.
"I... should've never let you go out there" she mourned, recalling their conversations, their memories together... their first kiss...
Ralf stood up and, holding Johannes by her hands, helped her up. "I think we're up for a waltz, Fräulein Johannes" the mensch-maschine said softly. But she only had a blank stare on her face.
"I... I do not know how to dance, no one's ever taught me how to dance the waltz" she replied sadly.
"It's alright, I'll teach you" the kind Roboter responded, and with that he patiently led the waltz as she followed along. But the two only took small, careful steps, pacing themselves so that she would try to get the hang of it. She mentally paced herself as they waltzed to the music. It was a bit out of the ordinary for her to experience her first waltz like this, but she almost stepped on his toes. Yet he was patient and kind with her, smiling at her every moment, every second that he had to spare. He wished he could just see the smile on his face but, at the least, she could feel its warmth in her heart.
Ralf, somehow more than overwhelmed by his love for her, held her hands close to his chest with one of his, while the other touched her pale yet life-sparked face. Then, in a daring move that he would've never considered, he kissed her lips, carefully, but endearingly. For a moment she blinked before closing her eyes, not sure of what was going on, yet liking this moment that, for once, was hers, his, and theirs alone. At this point the two had adjusted well to the waltz, but for Ralf, his feelings finally consumed him.
"Fräulein Johannes" he whispered, "I fear that... I have fallen in love with you..."
"I came to realize that... a long time ago, Ralf" she whispered back, "not simply with your heart but with mine also...
"I just... I just do not know what else to think than, I fear I've begun to love you... when you promised me you wouldn't let me go..."
But the sentence died on her lips as he kissed her again, and at a distance Elizabeth knew then and there how much Ralf truly loved her younger sister.
The waltz had ended before the entire gang hid in the shelter beneath Andelina's cafe in Vienna. The memory never escaped her mind, always settled in her heart. It was bittersweet, recalling the waltz, the lullaby he sang to her that night, the food she consumed in one sitting and the hilarious teasing that followed. But...
none of that mattered anymore now that Ralf was gone.
"Elizabeth... what happened?" Johannes asked when they arrived at the Spacelab.
"I fear... the boys are dying" her older sister answered sadly.
"No! They... they can't be dying..." she replied in despair. "They're... they're robots. They... they can't die! They live forever, don't... they...?"
But her sister was silent as Professor Henning took Ralf from Johannes' arms and into his own.
"No! don't take Ralf away from me, please!!" she pleaded, but it became a sob when she realized he wasn't going to return.
"Ralf!! Wait!! Come back...
COME BACK!!"
Quietly, waiting for something--anything, she lied down on the bed, curled up on her side, facing the wall, and cried herself to sleep.
...a few hours later...
"...and what color is that wall in front of me?"
"The wall is white, Johanna."
"Alright. That color is white. And your arm?"
"The sleeve is red."
"Okay. This color, red."
Johannes woke up to feel warm arms wrapped around her, kisses along her right ear. Her eyes opened and, the first thing she saw was the wall, the window. Tears had fallen from her eyes and became like melted candlewax on the pillow. She glanced to the waxen teardrops, and back to the wall. She started to ask questions, while the person holding her tightly from behind answered her curiosities. She had looked to the wall, to the window, asked about the wall, asked about the color of his sleeves.
"And... what color is this?" she asked, looking to her skirt.
"That color is black" the kind voice answered.
"Black... my sister told me my hair was black" she said wistfully, looking at a curl of her own black hair. "So then that must be black!"
She felt the person nod his head against her ear. "Yep, that's black."
Her face then went to the ceiling. "And... what's that!?" she asked, giggling.
"That's the ceiling" he answered with a kind laugh. "And that thing over there is a fan."
"Elizabeth always complained about the fan in her room breaking down" she recalled. "She hated the thing. I guess I don't really blame her.
"...white... walls, white ceiling... this isn't heaven, right?"
"Right" he answered. "You're alive, just like me."
"So then if I'm alive..." she said sadly, fearing the worst of it.
"No, it's not over for you" the kind soul replied.
Blinking her eyes for a moment she turned her head to face a kind face with bold blue eyes and a warm smile. She then realized... it wasn't a dream. The hands that held her... the voice talking to her. She knew its warmth, she knew the voice.
"...Ralf?" she whispered, a faint smile of hope appearing on her face.
Her true love nodded slowly, tears filling his eyes.
"You... you came back to me?" she asked. "Is it... really you?"
"Yes... it's... it's me" he said, smiling warmly. "I'm here, Johanna. I'm not going anywhere."
"...what color those... things?" she asked softly, pointing to his eyes.
"My eyes are blue" he responded.
"And mine...?"
"They're... purple...!"
"--they're not gray!?" she asked in shock. "Then... it's true... sweet Mother of God above... I can see...
I can see, Ralf!! I can see you!!" she cried joyfully as they hugged each other tightly. Her beloved couldn't help but share in her joy, knowing that she'd often doubted about the hope of her sight, as a few tears fell from his own eyes. She then pulled back to look in his eyes again.
"Alright, that color is blue" she noted. Then, she blinked. "You have very pretty eyes" she said with a smile. He blushed.
"Now your face is almost as red as your shirt!!" she giggled. But he giggled along with her and held her tightly, her face resting against his chest as he kissed the top of her head.
"Ralf?" she spoke again.
He rolled his eyes for a moment--WOW! you're curious!! he thought to himself as he looked to her and asked, "What is it, Johanne?"
"You... have a heart!" she said gleefully in a hushed whisper. "You have a beating heart, Ralf!"
He blinked for a moment and placed his hand on his chest. A faint smile appeared when he felt his own pulse. He had survived the last and worst of the glitch attacks--he had become a full-spirited Mensch-Maschine with, just as his best friends had, a beating heart.
"I... I suppose there are such things as miracles then?" he asked, looking into his beloved's purple eyes.
She shrugged. "Hey, if it can bring you back to me and give me sight in the process..." she answered with a smile.
"By the way, this color is gray, this is brown, and this is also blue!" Ralf quickly explained, pointing to his pants, hair, and the crystal on his Radio locket. Johannes nodded quickly, trying to absorb the information.
"Okay, blue... gray... brown... red... white... black... and my eyes are purple!" she recalled all the colors she learned so far.
"That's my girl!" he cheered, hugging her tightly.
"...no" she said.
"--eh!?" he asked, blinking as he looked into her eyes.
"I'm not a girl, you goober!!" she retorted with a grin.
The Mensch-Maschine looked at her, puzzled.
"I am your Prinzessin, remember?" she reminded him.
A giggle... a laugh escaped his lips, and he held her in a warm embrace. "You're something else, Johanna!!" he said as his laugh died down gently. "Who knew... you'd be so full of life when all you knew was despair?"
"It's because... I can see the world around me now" she explained quietly as she lied down on her back, her face to the ceiling. "I want to see trees... the bells that ring and the birds that sing... my sister and my best friends... Alessandro and Fritz and Professor Henning... Florian and Karl and Wolfgang... Andelina and Gregorio... the city, the world, the life that surrounds me everyday!" She turned her face to smile at him. "But the best part is that I get to see you! Your blue eyes, your warm smile. You're beautiful, you know that?"
He laughed again. "You've got a lot to see then, Johanna."
"Hey, I'm ready!!" she affirmed, smiling cheerfully.
"Now, as for who's so-called beautiful" Ralf spoke, changing the topic a little bit, "I see someone far more beautiful than myself." He lied down on top of her and held her face in his hands. "Someone with bright purple eyes and a dear smile, a warm heart and an even warmer embrace.
"...why, it looks like someone I love."
"Should I ask who it is?" Johannes asked with a curious half-smile.
"...no" he answered. "You know who it is."
"I know" she replied with a grin. "I just want to hear you say it. I want to hear sweet words again... I miss... hearing them..." Her grin died to a somber smile. "My heart almost died because I felt as if you'd died."
"Johanna" he said, "I've no reason to leave you. It was so I could recover fully, on my own, and become an actual Mensch-Maschine. I had once told you this, a long while ago, but it seems that in all of the recent chaos you'd forgotten.
"But rest assured, as long as I'm alive, we'll always be together."
"You... promise?" she asked with a hopeful look on her face.
He kissed her nose. "Always, princess, always."
For a moment they smiled, eyes locked to each other without a care about the outside world. Then he hugged her tightly, kissing her cheek and resting his head beside her head on the pillow.
Hours later the sun shone into the room, and Johannes blinked to see the beautiful sunrise outside in her home city. This must be Düsseldorf! she thought with a smile as her eyes fixed to the life outside the window. She then looked at Ralf, who'd fallen asleep with his head rested against her heart. Gently she ran a finger along his cheek, and he blinked his eyes open, looking up at her.
"Guten morgen, Ralf" she whispered, still smiling.
"Guten morgen, Johanna" he whispered back as a smile broke across his face. He then moved so that his his forehead could touch hers.
"...you know," she said, "I realized that, I forgot to tell you something."
"Forgot to tell me what?" he asked.
"I actually forgot to tell you I love you" she said nonchalantly, still smiling.
His smile turned into a humored, bashful grin as he held her face in his hands again. Running a thumb along her lower lip he kissed her nose and smiled.
"I love you, Ralf" she whispered.
"I love you too, Johanna" he whispered back. Glancing to the scene outside the window for a moment, he then turned his gaze back to her.
"It looks like a promising day today" she said.
"That's mostly because I'm with someone I love dearly" he replied wistfully.
"Oh really?" she laughed. "And who might she be, my dear?"
But he simply kissed her forehead, and then her nose and cheeks. Finally he looked her in the eyes and smiled warmly. "I... I don't have to tell you, you know that. You know who it is."
"I know but... I just want to hear it from you again. It's music to my ears."
When he heard her words of love, his heart became overwhelmed by his love for her, and he gently kissed her still-smiling mouth, whispering inbetween kisses who she was to him so that she could remember who she was in his heart, more than anything--"Meine liebe Prinzessin... my dear, sweet Princess..."
*writer's note--memory excerpts are from Chapter 3 [All Aboard the Trans-Europa!] and Chapter 10 [A Late-Night Cafe].*
11 December 2007
08 December 2007
Chapter 29: Rechtmäßig Besessen. [Rightfully Possessed.]
this chapter is written from anneke's point of view.*
I was only 17 years old when, after the Darkstrom started to try to take over Germany and, in particular, beloved Düsseldorf, Elibeth, Rekah and I fought against a handful of troopers. When all was said and done, however, I was near death, and so was Rekah, because she used up almost all of her life force to fix me. I was scared more for the younger of us, because she didn't deserve to die at age 12. No way. Not the way she looked out for Johanne.
As the one always prepared for anything, I had always looked out for the girls. Elibeth was my best friend since childhood, Johannes was her sister and Rekah their neighbor. All our lives we'd known each other, grown to love each other as sisters. We were our own family. It was very nice for the most part. If not for the Darkstrom it would've been nicer, but such is life and so it goes.
In Lisbon we were treated all the same as everyone else, except for Johannes. She was given the okay to simply wander about. She was blind; "she was born blind and she'll die blind" the officers would scoff. But she ignored them. She only wanted the future of Eastern Europe to be filled with freedom, not fear--light, not darkness. She possessed the gift of eternal hope in the face of eternal chaos. That was how Elibeth and Rekah and I, we loved her dearly. We held on with that hope she instilled in all of us.
And then... I met Karl. And then I began to change.
For the first time, I felt a sense of whim that never existed before. In my very soul was the sense that, perhaps I didn't need to take caution around men. In my heart there was a case of skipping beats; I had let my guard down, I had dropped my defenses.
For the first time in my life, I fell in love.
I wasn't really sure of myself for a while. Karl was the only person I felt I could be myself around, besides Elibeth, and he'd be alright with it. We loved our cameras and took so many pictures; then, after developing them and putting them into scrapbooks, we'd show them all to everyone and save them for the day Johannes would get her sight, so she could see them too.
All was well until Venice. And then the courage came to confess my love for him, but I was very scared, because of what Rekah had suffered at the hands of men. But Karl... sweet, sweet angel that overtakes my senses and turns a grown woman into a cheerful child! What had he done to me, God above only knows. But he was the only person outside of the Quartet to love me for who I was. And my feelings for him were mutual.
After all that we've been through, one would've hoped that, in effect, we'd always be together. But on that final fight on the Trans-Europa, in which we basically annihilated the enemy forces, Karl had been wounded to the point where, Rekah couldn't save any of our Roboter for some ungodly reason, and basically the fear of death was in.
I quietly witnessed Johannes crying herself to sleep, Rekah and Elibeth leaving me to cry over the men they had come to love so selflessly. Realizing that, maybe Karl would appreciate it if I said one last Guten nacht to him, I left Johannes sleeping and went to his room. I swear, I should've just died the second I entered the room, because the room had an air as cold and still as death itself. Or perhaps when I saw his lifeless body? Not sure for certain.
Lamentations over the city, joyful since their beloved Quartet was home.
Lamentations over the dead, sleeping and waiting for love to arrive along.
I had slashed my scar open, the first time I saw it bleed in almost 10 years. I had no fear, no sense of pain. It just... it just didn't matter anymore. Life had no meaning for me. To go on living, knowing that the one person that I ever loved, selfelessly and with willing lack of resistance, had died... it was not possible for me. It wasn't worth the pain, the aggrevation, the humiliation. Nothing had meaning, everything became nothing.
Closing my eyes, I simply awaited death. All because I loved someone too much to stay in this world. I'd give all my soul just to stay with him no matter what.
...one flaw though. Death didn't happen.
Lost in some dream... someone holding me, adorning my miserably-spent body with kisses... it felt so real. In my dream, it was Karl. But, it felt so real... perhaps, past real. I felt as if this wasn't meant to happen and yet, how the hell did it go? I could've sworn I was holding on to something--whether it was the blanket, his shirt, his pants, or my skirt, I had no clue. In any case, it was very unusual yet... something unexpected and, perhaps, a bit nice.
But not since the night in Venice had anyone held me this way. And definitely not before, either. No one had dared to love someone who played positive practical jokes from time to time, let alone prepared for almost anything. But... this was too different somehow. I was never prepared for something called falling in love.
A fingertip gently tapped along the scar, it felt as if it was a gentle needle sewing the wound shut. The warmth of his finger... the warmth of the one who was holding me... it felt like Karl. And no one else I knew had the courage to tend to the past's scars I wore. Yet... here I was, sleeping in some sense of death, or so it felt, and someone was trying to save me. But... why? I had no intention of living anymore!! I didn't want to have to suffer the tears in the past all over again!! I didn't want to live this life alone!!
And then, a whisper, the voice familiar to me--
"Anya... Anya, wake up..."
But I don't want to wake up from this! I thought, and as the thought escaped my lips I swore to myself in my heart that, damnit I'd gone mad! But a hand held my neck gently and I was being kissed along that scar. The kisses... familiar to me...
"Anya please... open your eyes..."
But... I don't want to...
"Why not?"
...because I'm scared that... when I open them... if I open them... I'll be alive, the one I love will still be dead, and I'll have to face the world... alone...
"No... that's not so. You... you won't face this world alone."
I think I hesitated for a moment. Alright, should I open my eyes?
...I'm... afraid.
"Don't be. Don't ever be afraid, Anya."
--suddenly it dawned on me, no one else had ever called me Anya. I finally gave in to fear and, hoping past hope, opened my eyes to see my hands clutching the blanket. I was still crying, I thought I had died, only to realize I was still alive, but it all pulled together for me the moment I turned my eyes to look up at a face, so sweet, so familiar, who smiled at me with eyes of love.
It was my beloved Karl. And he was alive.
...well, a bit scarred, but still adorable. And did I mention he was alive?
"You're... alive?" I asked in a dazed whisper.
He nodded. "And I'm not going anywhere without you. Even if it was to the gates of death I'd gladly follow."
I gently ran my finger along where my scar was, and felt the light stitching. "Did you do this?"
"Yes" he answered. "I couldn't bear to see the blood spilling from the one I'd give my life for."
"I... thought you'd died... so I wanted to die... just so I could be with you" I confessed. "I didn't want to face this world alone."
"And I won't let you face this world alone, angel" he told me. "Wherever you go, I gladly follow, because I love you."
I looked into his eyes for a moment, and there dwelled the promise of our future together. But I had one moment of doubt, which led me to ask--"Are we alive and well then...?"
Karl grinned. "Alive and breathing, with beating hearts and happy souls. Or at least on my part. I don't know about the happy soul part on your end."
I giggled for the first time since before Athens. It felt so good to smile again, but even better to know that we were both alive, we were breathing, we were alright. With that I hugged him tightly to me... and then, my heart was overwhelmed. It was as if... as if nothing else mattered except for one moment against the current of time, the rush of the outside world. It didn't matter to either of us. Only we mattered to each other.
Recalling what happened after this is nothing short of one helluva blur. I remember everything--every touch, every embrace, every kiss. But it felt so strange, that of all the memories in my journey home from Lisbon, this was the one memory that meant so much more to me than the night in Venice... even though that memory would always be a part of me. Well, both me and Karl's memories. Definitely. But anyway... trying to recall... it felt so strange. It felt like a dream, but I knew we were alive.
The braids were undone, the ribbons aside, more kisses to adorn that exhausted woman-child that was me. I held Karl to me tightly and blinked my eyes in sudden alarm--and I swear, how on earth I let this slide I have NO CLUE whatsoever!--Karl had no shirt on! This had surprised me even more than the incident in Venice. But nonetheless he was shirtless, and as I looked at him, he had not simply become adorable in my eyes anymore--he was, perhaps, beautiful. In spite of the few bullet wounds and glass cuts, he truly was beautiful in my eyes.
The next thing I knew, buttons from my coat were undone, bittersweet kisses adorned my body that had scars of past battles that I'd fought on my sisters' behalf. So help me God, this put the night we spent in Venice to absolute shame. Yet... I willingly was powerless to stop it. It showed as I quickly sat up and, in doing so got my arms freed from the coatsleeves. Perhaps I'd be less bold, less nervingly brave to do that.
On second thought, nah.
But he straddled me on my lap and held my face in his hands, kissed my lips and confessed his heart inbetween the kisses, to which I'll never forget the words he said, that I'd always be his only angel--his only love. I couldn't speak a word in reply, as words failed me altogether, and all I could do was plant kisses along his torso, along the wounds that had almost taken him away from me. After a moment of this sort of gentle torture he carefully lied me back down on the bed and kissed me as if he'd never see me again. Then he broke the kiss and, in a near whisper, told me something that I'd tattoo in my heart for ever if I wanted to--
"My dearest Anya, my angel... my rightful possession."
All I could do was speak what my heart felt at that moment. "My beloved... my little heaven against the hell of the outside world."
I don't know if it was his heart or my words that caused whatever happened afterwards, but we held each other tightly for a moment. It felt so good to be in his arms, to simply hold him again, to bask in the warmth of his love. It was surreal. It still feels surreal.
Then, somehow, I felt this strange warmth in my very soul, deep inside of me... it wasn't there before. But it was there, and it was welcomed there, whatever that warmth was. Somehow, for once in my life, my heart was full, my spirit was whole. It was... entirely strange yet... very, very nice.
There wasn't much else to note except the feeling surged deeper into the very depths of my being. I couldn't quite figure out what all went on at first, but my thoughts quickly rationalized itself as I noted that, beneath the blanket that covered us, I couldn't really see past my skirt's waistband what all happened as our legs intertwined. Somehow I thought amusingly he'd either painlessly breached the maidenhead or I just didn't feel an ounce of pain and it's all his fault! ...well, in a good way of course, 'cause this does feel kinda nice...
Really, it was MORE than nice.
I'll never really figure out how we'd synchronized our breathing... our own heartbeats to each other, simply in the process of fully drowning in each other's love. But he was careful, yet he loved me dearly, not slowing yet not rushing either. I took his face in my hands and brought it to mine so I could kiss him right on the mouth--well, it was either that or I'd end up crying out in untold bliss!! Preferably, I think I'd prefer keeping silent. Obviously, so did Karl, because he kissed me as if I truly was his possession, his only angel.
I felt him clasp my hands tightly and placing them behind my head. He stopped kissing me and looked at me for a moment, a smile on his adorable face.
"My Anya" he whispered, "my angel, my princess."
For a moment my memory returned to Venice, where he'd called me the exact same names. My heart felt strangely warm in opposed to the chill in the room that was still there, but I never felt it. I couldn't... not while the man I loved was here with me, overtaking all of me, and gladly so.
Another kiss along my scar and he resumed making love to me at the pace he'd been at. I quickly snapped my wrists free of his hands and held him to me, wishing he'd not cease the kiss this time around. A while would've gladly passed until, the next thing I knew, I found myself lightly biting Karl's lip as a surge flooded my entire being, and finally his name escaped my lips in a hushed whisper as I held him even tighter, my senses in overdrive yet my mind rendered numb. He too whispered my name as, so it seems, he'd felt that same surge overcome him, and he held onto me for dear life. I swear, I'd never felt anything like that before... it was so... well... damn... I can't really put it into words.
As morning took its course and the sun peeked through the blinds, I opened my eyes again. We'd fallen asleep in each other's arms, tightly, wrapped with only a blanket to help keep us warm in the chilly room. I was still on my back, Karl on top, resting his head beside mine on the pillow as our hearts were beating against each other. Except, I couldn't figure out whose heart was beating, if it was mine or his. And I quietly told him this.
He simply opened his sleepy eyes and smiled. "It's neither yours or mine" he answered. "Not yours nor mine, but our heart beating." He then kissed my forehead and whispered, "And not the chaos of the world or the madness of the Darkstrom can ever take that away from us. Ever."
My heart was filled with emotion, and I hugged him tightly to me, the words I wanted to say finally escaping me. But I guess it became more of a show of humility, that I truly could not make it through this world alone, that I needed him more than I thought.
"Please... stay with me?" I asked humbly.
"However long my angel's heart wishes it" he answered, touching his nose to mine.
"Stay... for ever?" I then asked with a sense of longing.
"Now Anya" he replied, smiling lovingly. "I'm afraid to say that... for ever...
"for us, for ever is never long enough."
"I guess... that's how much you love me then?" I asked, a small lopsided smile on my face.
"I love you so much more than you know" he confessed.
"And I love you just as much" I admitted. A few tears overflowed my eyes--I couldn't be happier!! The one man I truly, selflessly loved in this entire world, was here with me again. For always!! Not even 'for ever' was long enough!!
They say that the heart of one who truly loves is warm and kind. I never really understood that... until that very moment.
There wasn't much to be said though as we basked in each other's love. "My beloved angel" Karl whispered against my neck, kissing my scar with love as we held each other tightly. "My dearest Anya... my only love."
Chapter 28: Ein Licht, Das Nie Erlischt [A Light That Never Goes Out] - Anneke.
Anneke watched Johannes fall asleep in tears as time passed through in the Spacelab's waiting room. Should she simply leave the blind angel here and go find Karl? Elizabeth had left to mourn over Florian, just as Rebekah for Wolfgang. But then what would the young blind soul of the Quartet do if the no-longer joke-filled spirit of the bunch went to look for the one she loved? Surely she herself would go find Ralf to cry her tears over his unlikely death.
Quietly she made her humble decision and, leaving Johannes to sleep, left to find her beloved's room. As she closed the door, she felt the chill in the room, took it all into her soul. To her it was as if it was the very chill of death--the chill of death that overtook Karl, the chill of death that would soon overtake her. Then she turned to look at him, and tears flooded her eyes when she saw his lifeless body wired to the machines that either kept him alive or prepared him for his funeral.
"This..." she said softly to herself "can't be... happening..."
Going to the window at the other side of the room she saw the lights that shone brightly in Düsseldorf, her hometown. It glowed beautifully as it used to be in the past, yet to her it meant nothing. Not while Karl was dead. She never wanted this to happen--that she'd return home but her soul'd lost all feeling. Leaning her forehead against the window, she looked out the window to see Alessandro and Fritz outside, walking to the town ahead of them. The orphan was dressed as the guys were--he himself was a Mensch-Maschine in spirit and form. His glitch attacks came as an infant, but he overcame them boldly and grew up to be a cheerful 12-year-old with the respect and charm of a young boy.
"Someday" she whispered softly, "the boy will have a family. I can feel it."
Turning away to look at Karl, she went and sat down at the side of the bed, her face gazing painfully at his lifeless own. Who was she to think that miracles were possible now, given the circumstances she'd faced throughout her entire life? Her best friend since childhood witnessed the death of her parents as a child. Her best friend's younger sister was born blind, with no hope of sight possible for her. And the youngest of the Quartet was afraid at almost everything. But what... what about the Anneke that grew up? She'd faced life alone as her working-class parents worked so hard to support the family, if not for her three dearest friends. But all she knew was just that--her best friends, Düsseldorf as it used to be.
Yet, recalling the memory, it all changed when, as the girls were about to leave Lisbon...
Anneke walked up to KW310552, her eyes a bit solemn in case he meant trouble. Her stern glare soon turned into a giggly grin when he made a funny face. Suddenly, she no longer felt like she had to be on high alert around him as he extended a hand to her.
"Hallo, my name is Karl" he spoke. "And you are?"
"Anneke Weldenta" she answered, her hand now in his. "Are you going to be with us on the Trans-Europa?"
Karl nodded. "Absolutely, Miss Anneke."
She'd remembered the charm in his smile. He was always adorable, how he forgot her name at first when the train started for Paris, how whatever he wanted to say died when his blue eyes met hers. She remembered his blue eyes, his adorable smile, his silly sense of humor which matched--and at times rivaled--hers, his funny respect for the camera. She remembered so much about him, but in particular things had begun to change one night in Venice not so long ago...
"Hide what must be hid, tell what must be told."
Karl's words echoed in her head. What was she to do? Should she think through her words or simply spill out her heart?
Suddenly she felt a tie being tied loosely around her neck, and her gaze looked up to his smiling face.
"I kinda wondered if that tie looked better on you than on me" the Roboter said, keeping the tie loose around her neck. He had his top two buttons undone, and a faint scar had shown at the base of his neck.
"...what happened there, Karl?" she asked, glancing to the scar.
"That was from the accident that... that almost killed me" he replied sadly. Curious she opened one more button to see the extent of the scar. It was only enough to scar the shoulder, yet it missed his heart. But, of course, the circumstances of that injury could've been much worse also.
Quietly she undid the back buttons of her high collar, and one button from each side of her coat, revealing a scar that started just below her left ear, running down the side of the neck, over her collarbone, stopping just above where her heart was.
"This" she explained "was when I fought against the enemy in the beginning of their invasion. One of the Troopers almost killed me. Rekah had to heal me before taking care of anything else. The girl almost died." She then sat down on the grass, hugging her knees to her chest. "I wanted to help out the girls, and two almost died because of it."
She still could not believe she told someone she'd only known a few months about the fight that almost killed her had Rebekah not interfered and revived most of her with her own soul. Then the tears fell as the memory continued, her hands now holding his cold, lifeless own...
"I... I'm in love... and it hurts sometimes" she started as he kissed her forehead, and looked back into her eyes with a smile. She took a deep breath, not sure what else to tell him, until an encouraging nod from him meant for her to keep talking.
Karl, to death I dearly love Elibeth, Johannes, and Rekah. We've been together all our lives, through thick and thin, Birthday parties and funerals. We've suffered together, we've laughed together, we've cried together, we've fought together. Til death I will always love these girls, these sisters that they've become for me.
"But I swore I'd never fall in love and suffer the pain that Rekah felt. Her heart was broken simply because she took care of Johannes.
"You... you're the reason I changed in such a strange way. For the first time, I felt more... dare I say, vulnerable than I'd like to admit. I felt my heart be happy, at the same moment I felt that same heart break. And God forbid something ever dare happened to you, I wouldn't know what to do, how to act, what to think.
"And I think I'm beginning to realize that, this must be what love does to people. It makes people really see how much they're truly worth.
"It scares me to think this but... but I love you a bit much more than I love my sisters."
"I guess I owe you a confession myself" Karl whispered after he had kissed along the scar again. "Well then, where to begin, where to begin..." Anneke blinked watching his every move.
"For one" he said, straddling her again, "you look damn beautiful like that." With a smile he grabbed his camera and, as she giggled for a moment, turned the camera on. "This one is going in my own little photo album." With that he took a picture of the beautiful, bashful woman. Putting his camera to the side, he lied down beside her again and smiled.
"Two, that tie looks sooo much better on you than on me" he admitted as he ran a finger down her cheek, along her neck, which made her giggle.
"I love your smile, I love your laugh, I love how your eyes just glow when there's a case of moonlight about. I love the way you look, I love the way you think, I love all of that and more than I could count at the moment. I...
"I couldn't love anyone else that couldn't be you" he admitted. "And for me I don't want anyone else. For me, there is you, and that is all there is to it.
"So I guess, what I'm trying to say is... that... I love you too."
Anneke opened her eyes to see the tearstains on the bedding, his shirt, her own attire. She'd turned into a downright mess of emotions. Who knew that behind the laughter, the humor and joy she had for everyone... lived the despair of being alone for the rest of her life? The fear had faded away when they confessed their love for each other; her heart was very happy. This moment, however, was anything but cheerful--it was the darkest moment since the takeover of the Darkstrom. The death of Elizabeth and Johannes' parents. The fight that almost killed her. The capture and imprisonment in Lisbon.
The life she'd felt so far... she didn't deserve that happiness...
She was a strange goofball, her sense of humor could've kept her friends laughing for hours. But she was also always prepared for anything.
Or so, she thought she was. But she was nowhere near prepared for what happened to her that night, when the braids at last came undone and she was willingly unable to stop whatever was going on.
Finally her gaze fell to her still-slumbering companion, still dressed except his shirt was no longer tucked in. She still wore his tie, wondering if she should tie it back on him, but the thought perished as she turned on her back to face the morning sky again.
Why'd I let him love me this way?
The thought crossed her mind as she closed her eyes, crossing her arms behind her head as a pillow. Why did she allow him to be with her, when she'd shunned at the thought of love nearly all of her life? What was it about him that brought her to lowering just about all of her defenses? Was it the way they connected in a way they couldn't connect with anyone else? Did they see something in each other past the silly reputations, the humorous laughter in front of and behind the cameras? She couldn't really think much more on the matter, until she felt someone's head rest against her heart, arms wrapped around her tightly. But she didn't open her eyes right away--she knew whose mind was well set against the love of his angel, whose arms wouldn't let go of her for even all the world.
A giggle finally escaped her lips, but it was a soft one, not the usual fit-happy laugh she usually had. Her hands still in his, the mensch-maschinr kissed along her left ear, near the scar she had suffered. Meanwhile her giggled softly quieted down, and she smiled contentedly, basking in his affection. This wasn't what she had grown to know as a child or teenager, but it was definitely something she could get used to.
After a while longer she took his face in her hands and smiled. "By the way, you're the first person since my Father who's ever seen me without my braids and ribbons" she said softly. Karl blinked, slightly stunned, but she still smiled.
"You should realize that, it's an honor. I don't even let Elibeth see me without 'em!" she noted.
His shock died down, and he smiled back, hugging her tightly. Then his eyes met hers again.
"My dearest Anya" he whispered. "My angel, my princess."
Words were finally rendered useless as his lips met hers, and she wasn't sure if either her lips smiled into the kiss or if her heart did. But whatever her heart was feeling, however strong or sweet it felt, whatever it was, she felt it was very, very nice...
"Karl" she whispered as tears fell down her cheeks, "why'd you have to do this to me?" Mournfully she lied down on the bed and hugged his lifeless body to her.
"You're... so cold..."
The sentence escaped her lips as she let go of him and turned on her side, facing the window. The world outside was beautiful and, after all that had just happened, she felt she'd no part in it anymore, for whatever reason arose. It was as if her entire world had fallen apart, and she was stuck in the middle of its ruins.
Something inside her--pure self-despair, the feeling that life was no longer worth living--caused her to take out his pocket knife and, going to the mirror, look at her own reflection. Taking off the high collar that covered her neck and placing it aside, she undid the top buttons of her coat to reveal the scar of the battle that could've done her in. Kissing the blade without a shard of remorse, she carefully reopened the wound, the slash bleeding cautiously for the first time in years. Placing the knife beside the collar she removed her locket then, placing that aside, went to the bed and took the tie off of Karl. After putting the tie loosely on her own neck, she went to the window one last time. Then she went back to the bed and, lying down on her side, faced the window.
"Oh happy world" she whispered with a smile of misery, "you can have your blessed freedom. You can have whatever the hell you want.
"But rest assured, you will never have me."
Lying on her back she stared at the ceiling for a moment. After she prayed to the Creator above for forgiveness, she closed her eyes, clasping her hands on her chest, cried her last few tears.
Then she fell asleep, awaiting to join Karl at the gates of death.
*writer's note--memory excerpts for Lisbon, onboard the Trans-Europa, and Venice are from, respectively, Chapter 2 [We Are The Robots], Chapter 16 [...to the Heart of the Moment], Chapter 17 [Confessions], and Chapter 18 [Recollections].*
Quietly she made her humble decision and, leaving Johannes to sleep, left to find her beloved's room. As she closed the door, she felt the chill in the room, took it all into her soul. To her it was as if it was the very chill of death--the chill of death that overtook Karl, the chill of death that would soon overtake her. Then she turned to look at him, and tears flooded her eyes when she saw his lifeless body wired to the machines that either kept him alive or prepared him for his funeral.
"This..." she said softly to herself "can't be... happening..."
Going to the window at the other side of the room she saw the lights that shone brightly in Düsseldorf, her hometown. It glowed beautifully as it used to be in the past, yet to her it meant nothing. Not while Karl was dead. She never wanted this to happen--that she'd return home but her soul'd lost all feeling. Leaning her forehead against the window, she looked out the window to see Alessandro and Fritz outside, walking to the town ahead of them. The orphan was dressed as the guys were--he himself was a Mensch-Maschine in spirit and form. His glitch attacks came as an infant, but he overcame them boldly and grew up to be a cheerful 12-year-old with the respect and charm of a young boy.
"Someday" she whispered softly, "the boy will have a family. I can feel it."
Turning away to look at Karl, she went and sat down at the side of the bed, her face gazing painfully at his lifeless own. Who was she to think that miracles were possible now, given the circumstances she'd faced throughout her entire life? Her best friend since childhood witnessed the death of her parents as a child. Her best friend's younger sister was born blind, with no hope of sight possible for her. And the youngest of the Quartet was afraid at almost everything. But what... what about the Anneke that grew up? She'd faced life alone as her working-class parents worked so hard to support the family, if not for her three dearest friends. But all she knew was just that--her best friends, Düsseldorf as it used to be.
Yet, recalling the memory, it all changed when, as the girls were about to leave Lisbon...
Anneke walked up to KW310552, her eyes a bit solemn in case he meant trouble. Her stern glare soon turned into a giggly grin when he made a funny face. Suddenly, she no longer felt like she had to be on high alert around him as he extended a hand to her.
"Hallo, my name is Karl" he spoke. "And you are?"
"Anneke Weldenta" she answered, her hand now in his. "Are you going to be with us on the Trans-Europa?"
Karl nodded. "Absolutely, Miss Anneke."
She'd remembered the charm in his smile. He was always adorable, how he forgot her name at first when the train started for Paris, how whatever he wanted to say died when his blue eyes met hers. She remembered his blue eyes, his adorable smile, his silly sense of humor which matched--and at times rivaled--hers, his funny respect for the camera. She remembered so much about him, but in particular things had begun to change one night in Venice not so long ago...
"Hide what must be hid, tell what must be told."
Karl's words echoed in her head. What was she to do? Should she think through her words or simply spill out her heart?
Suddenly she felt a tie being tied loosely around her neck, and her gaze looked up to his smiling face.
"I kinda wondered if that tie looked better on you than on me" the Roboter said, keeping the tie loose around her neck. He had his top two buttons undone, and a faint scar had shown at the base of his neck.
"...what happened there, Karl?" she asked, glancing to the scar.
"That was from the accident that... that almost killed me" he replied sadly. Curious she opened one more button to see the extent of the scar. It was only enough to scar the shoulder, yet it missed his heart. But, of course, the circumstances of that injury could've been much worse also.
Quietly she undid the back buttons of her high collar, and one button from each side of her coat, revealing a scar that started just below her left ear, running down the side of the neck, over her collarbone, stopping just above where her heart was.
"This" she explained "was when I fought against the enemy in the beginning of their invasion. One of the Troopers almost killed me. Rekah had to heal me before taking care of anything else. The girl almost died." She then sat down on the grass, hugging her knees to her chest. "I wanted to help out the girls, and two almost died because of it."
She still could not believe she told someone she'd only known a few months about the fight that almost killed her had Rebekah not interfered and revived most of her with her own soul. Then the tears fell as the memory continued, her hands now holding his cold, lifeless own...
"I... I'm in love... and it hurts sometimes" she started as he kissed her forehead, and looked back into her eyes with a smile. She took a deep breath, not sure what else to tell him, until an encouraging nod from him meant for her to keep talking.
Karl, to death I dearly love Elibeth, Johannes, and Rekah. We've been together all our lives, through thick and thin, Birthday parties and funerals. We've suffered together, we've laughed together, we've cried together, we've fought together. Til death I will always love these girls, these sisters that they've become for me.
"But I swore I'd never fall in love and suffer the pain that Rekah felt. Her heart was broken simply because she took care of Johannes.
"You... you're the reason I changed in such a strange way. For the first time, I felt more... dare I say, vulnerable than I'd like to admit. I felt my heart be happy, at the same moment I felt that same heart break. And God forbid something ever dare happened to you, I wouldn't know what to do, how to act, what to think.
"And I think I'm beginning to realize that, this must be what love does to people. It makes people really see how much they're truly worth.
"It scares me to think this but... but I love you a bit much more than I love my sisters."
"I guess I owe you a confession myself" Karl whispered after he had kissed along the scar again. "Well then, where to begin, where to begin..." Anneke blinked watching his every move.
"For one" he said, straddling her again, "you look damn beautiful like that." With a smile he grabbed his camera and, as she giggled for a moment, turned the camera on. "This one is going in my own little photo album." With that he took a picture of the beautiful, bashful woman. Putting his camera to the side, he lied down beside her again and smiled.
"Two, that tie looks sooo much better on you than on me" he admitted as he ran a finger down her cheek, along her neck, which made her giggle.
"I love your smile, I love your laugh, I love how your eyes just glow when there's a case of moonlight about. I love the way you look, I love the way you think, I love all of that and more than I could count at the moment. I...
"I couldn't love anyone else that couldn't be you" he admitted. "And for me I don't want anyone else. For me, there is you, and that is all there is to it.
"So I guess, what I'm trying to say is... that... I love you too."
Anneke opened her eyes to see the tearstains on the bedding, his shirt, her own attire. She'd turned into a downright mess of emotions. Who knew that behind the laughter, the humor and joy she had for everyone... lived the despair of being alone for the rest of her life? The fear had faded away when they confessed their love for each other; her heart was very happy. This moment, however, was anything but cheerful--it was the darkest moment since the takeover of the Darkstrom. The death of Elizabeth and Johannes' parents. The fight that almost killed her. The capture and imprisonment in Lisbon.
The life she'd felt so far... she didn't deserve that happiness...
She was a strange goofball, her sense of humor could've kept her friends laughing for hours. But she was also always prepared for anything.
Or so, she thought she was. But she was nowhere near prepared for what happened to her that night, when the braids at last came undone and she was willingly unable to stop whatever was going on.
Finally her gaze fell to her still-slumbering companion, still dressed except his shirt was no longer tucked in. She still wore his tie, wondering if she should tie it back on him, but the thought perished as she turned on her back to face the morning sky again.
Why'd I let him love me this way?
The thought crossed her mind as she closed her eyes, crossing her arms behind her head as a pillow. Why did she allow him to be with her, when she'd shunned at the thought of love nearly all of her life? What was it about him that brought her to lowering just about all of her defenses? Was it the way they connected in a way they couldn't connect with anyone else? Did they see something in each other past the silly reputations, the humorous laughter in front of and behind the cameras? She couldn't really think much more on the matter, until she felt someone's head rest against her heart, arms wrapped around her tightly. But she didn't open her eyes right away--she knew whose mind was well set against the love of his angel, whose arms wouldn't let go of her for even all the world.
A giggle finally escaped her lips, but it was a soft one, not the usual fit-happy laugh she usually had. Her hands still in his, the mensch-maschinr kissed along her left ear, near the scar she had suffered. Meanwhile her giggled softly quieted down, and she smiled contentedly, basking in his affection. This wasn't what she had grown to know as a child or teenager, but it was definitely something she could get used to.
After a while longer she took his face in her hands and smiled. "By the way, you're the first person since my Father who's ever seen me without my braids and ribbons" she said softly. Karl blinked, slightly stunned, but she still smiled.
"You should realize that, it's an honor. I don't even let Elibeth see me without 'em!" she noted.
His shock died down, and he smiled back, hugging her tightly. Then his eyes met hers again.
"My dearest Anya" he whispered. "My angel, my princess."
Words were finally rendered useless as his lips met hers, and she wasn't sure if either her lips smiled into the kiss or if her heart did. But whatever her heart was feeling, however strong or sweet it felt, whatever it was, she felt it was very, very nice...
"Karl" she whispered as tears fell down her cheeks, "why'd you have to do this to me?" Mournfully she lied down on the bed and hugged his lifeless body to her.
"You're... so cold..."
The sentence escaped her lips as she let go of him and turned on her side, facing the window. The world outside was beautiful and, after all that had just happened, she felt she'd no part in it anymore, for whatever reason arose. It was as if her entire world had fallen apart, and she was stuck in the middle of its ruins.
Something inside her--pure self-despair, the feeling that life was no longer worth living--caused her to take out his pocket knife and, going to the mirror, look at her own reflection. Taking off the high collar that covered her neck and placing it aside, she undid the top buttons of her coat to reveal the scar of the battle that could've done her in. Kissing the blade without a shard of remorse, she carefully reopened the wound, the slash bleeding cautiously for the first time in years. Placing the knife beside the collar she removed her locket then, placing that aside, went to the bed and took the tie off of Karl. After putting the tie loosely on her own neck, she went to the window one last time. Then she went back to the bed and, lying down on her side, faced the window.
"Oh happy world" she whispered with a smile of misery, "you can have your blessed freedom. You can have whatever the hell you want.
"But rest assured, you will never have me."
Lying on her back she stared at the ceiling for a moment. After she prayed to the Creator above for forgiveness, she closed her eyes, clasping her hands on her chest, cried her last few tears.
Then she fell asleep, awaiting to join Karl at the gates of death.
*writer's note--memory excerpts for Lisbon, onboard the Trans-Europa, and Venice are from, respectively, Chapter 2 [We Are The Robots], Chapter 16 [...to the Heart of the Moment], Chapter 17 [Confessions], and Chapter 18 [Recollections].*
05 December 2007
Chapter 27: Ein Licht, Das Nie Erlischt [A Light That Never Goes Out] - Rebekah.
Rebekah quietly walked into Wolfgang's room and closed the door. She had sat quietly until the silence was no longer unbearable in the waiting room, and she stood up, leaving Anneke to care for Johannes.
Memories of her boyfriend slumping over... coughing blood in the severity of his wounds... the image brought back the coward in her that once died. Amazing how one person could cause a heart to be joyful... cause a heart to be miserable...
"Wolfgang!" she cried, clasping his hands with one hand while trying to heal one of the new bullet wounds with her other hand. Some sense of emergency had caused her to attempt to get through to him, to fix whatever injuries had arisen. But something was wrong--terribly wrong.
"...Lilibeth, Annie... we've got a big problem" she said in a scared tone of voice, looking to her neighbor and good friend.
"What is it, Rekah?" Anneke asked with an alarmed face.
"I... it seems I can't heal Wolfgang's wounds" she answered. "My power's not working. Something's wrong."
"Oh God" her neighbor whispered as Rebekah pleaded for her boyfriend to stay alive and hang on.
Sitting down on the side of the bed, her gaze fixed to the empty space of the wall. How could anyone suffer what had happened and survive? To her, the concept of pain made absolutely no sense at all. So many thoughts raced through her head, and she wasn't sure if she could keep up with them. And who was she to attempt to stick to even one thought that tried to fly past her?
Her once-full heart now broken, Rebekah turned to face her dying boyfriend. She quietly whispered his name and, after drying some of her own tears away, undid his tie and buttons from his shirt. As she undid the buttons her eyes caught something she hadn't seen since the first night in Paris weeks if not months ago...
"Oh my God... the string... it's still there..." she whispered as she remembered the incident that caused the string to be sewn into the one she loved--
"This" she said as she strung the thread through the needle, "might hurt a little bit."
"It's nothing I'm not worried over, Rebekah" he replied with a weary smile.
With that she took a deep breath and put down the needle and thread for a moment, and poured some antiseptic over him. She closed her eyes, said a quick prayer, and took up the needle and thread again. Opening her eyes, she glanced at his hand, which, miraculously, had the bullet.
"How the hell..." she asked, but shook her head at last. Putting the kit on the table to the side, and placing the bullet in the first-aid pocket, she carefully removed his bloodstained coat, tie and shirt. Placing them at the foot of the bed, she picked up the needle and thread, took one more deep breath, and began to sew up the tear on his skin.
She was very careful in sewing up his wound. Her expertise in being a seamstress for patchwork and sewing up small emblems came as an experience in the concentration camp. She looked at his face, watching for any sign of pain or weakness, careful not to inflict pain unintentionally. A sense of deep worry overcame her and, while she kept a steady hand over the needle and thread, her eyes now fixed over the needle and thread, filling with tears.
"Ah--ah, ouch..." he finally cried out softly, a slight twinge of pain getting to him at last, and she blinked as tears finally spilt.
"Oh my God!!" she cried out, putting aside the needle and thread. "I'm very sorry, Wolfgang!" She reached for the box to hunt down the numbing ice, which she totally forgot about, but he grabbed her hand. She looked at him, blinking.
"...no, it's okay, Rebekah" he said.
"Yes but, you're injured on account of me!!" she answered. "The least I can do is try to fix your wounds!!"
"They will heal on their own. Not so quickly, but they will heal" he replied. "You can remove the needle and the rest of the string now."
She carefully ran her finger along the sewn pattern on his chest, circling around where the wound had once been. She closed her eyes and, leaning over, planted a tender kiss on the old wound, remembering the memory further, how she felt that, if she couldn't help him then she was of no use to him...
"Not really, Rebekah" he answered, pulling her closer to him so he could look her in the eyes. "Not at all."
Rebekah stared into his brown eyes, her own green eyes still drowning in tears. What was it she saw in his eyes, that in her own being she denied herself? Had she fallen for him while she tried to fix him? Did he fall for her because she was brave enough to step out of her comfort zone and actually try to fix whatever wounds he had? Or did his admiration over her begin when they met outside of the Trans-Europa? In any case, whatever was there between them, there was something that couldn't be denied at any instant.
Wolfgang tried to sit up, for despite the pain, he wanted more than anything to kiss her.
"You're not sitting up, damnit!!" she exclaimed. "Not with the wounds you have!!" But he only pulled her closer to him, wrapping her in his arms. While she had the hearted ambition for him, at this point, she was not amused!! But at last, she finally gave up and sighed, just looking at him.
"One thing you must understand about a mensch-maschine is," he said, "when they intend to do something, they do it."
She sobbed quietly against his chest, her own hands gripping his shirt. Why... why did he have to give up his own life so she could live, when there wasn't much meaning to life now that he was gone? She had lost the courage that kept her strong in the face of chaos; he had been the reason why she stood her ground, became the daring woman he fell for as he'd fallen for the cowardly woman-child she once was. But even worse than cowardice was what she felt as failure--failure to heal his injuries, to fix his wounds, to keep him alive.
"I could not save you" she whispered sadly, "I've failed you. I'm so sorry, Wolfgang... I'm so sorry."
She traced the finger along the stringed pattern again, and closed her eyes, another bittersweet memory she soon relived; she recalled the night back in Vienna...
"Rebekah!!"
She turned to see Wolfgang, now at a distance before her. "What happened!?" he asked as he ran to her. "You could've been killed!! What the hell possessed you to just disappear like that!?"
"When..." she said softly, "when you were talking with Andelina. And the girls. And I..."
The semi-human being's face softened from upset to worried. "You got jealous, didn't you?"
She remembered the look on his face, the fear in his own eyes. Fear of losing the one truly good thing in his life. She never meant to wander through the town in her own anger like that, but she couldn't think much else to do otherwise. She gained the courage to open her eyes and, as tears spilt on the string and flesh, shook her head softly. She never meant to cause him pain, yet twice she'd done so. Finally she lied down on the bed beside him, her body facing his, as she held him against her... the memory returning further...
He wrapped his arms around her waist and carried her to the nearest park at the outskirts of the city. With that he sat her down on a park bench as he knelt before her, wiping tears off her cheeks with his hands.
"Es ist gut, Schatz... it's alright, sweetheart" he whispered as he dried her tears and looked up at the pale, rosecheeked face and the bright green eyes that adorned them perfectly. "It's okay... my days of being Mr. Flirtatious have ended the moment I saw you courageously step out from behind your friend that day... at the station..." His train of thought died when he lowered her head to kiss her lips. All was well until he lost his balanced and fell back, pulling Rebekah with him. She fell on top of him blinking, but he didn't wince in pain as he wrapped her in his arms.
"You okay there, Wolfgang?" she asked. He nodded and, with a smile, kissed the tip of her nose. She wiggled her nose, giggling as the mensch-maschine laughed softly.
"I am so much in love with you, Rebekah," he whispered, "so much in love and... there isn't a damn thing to be done to change that."
"You mean this?" she asked, a curious smile crossing her face.
He nodded--"My life and my wires on it, sweetheart."
He'd truly given his life, his wires now worse for wear, entirely all for her. Up until he met her, he'd only thought of himself and his best friends, his fellow Roboter. But then she came into his life... and he miraculously changed for the better. Andelina knew this. Karl witnessed it firsthand. The youngest of the Quartet had been the brightest influence of his very life.
But her light of hope had dimmed as his life faded away before her.
"Wolfgang..." she whispered, "you were always kind to me... you looked out for me like no one else had. You inspired me to be strong, to never back down again.
"I never thought... I'd have to watch you die in front of me.
"So... the great Creator has decided to... to further my misery, to try to test my courage... by having to go through this world without you in my life. But I... I don't want to...
"I don't want to live in this world alone!
"I don't care if we're in Düsseldorf--what all does that matter to me anymore if... if you're not here with me..."
After sobbing to herself some more, she lied down on her back, clasping his hand in hers, and closed her eyes.
"If the Creator wants to take you from me" she mourned, "then don't forget the other half of your soul... please, take me with you..."
Patiently she waited for him to die, waited for her own death to pass beside him.
...but, that did not come to pass.
Morning had broken as Rebekah felt what was as if the reversal of the memory in Vienna, as her cheeks were adorned with kisses. But she wouldn't open her eyes at first to recall the memory, to see who it was on top of her with arms holding her fragile body gently--her eyes still welled up with tears. Yet as the tears fell over the sides of her face she slowly remembered the warmth of his own soul against the courage of her own heart, and she felt her own strength returning at a calm pace.
Carefully trailing a finger down his chest she felt something that made her eyes open wide--string, a pattern sewn on him so familiarly, on his chest. And immediately she glanced to the wound, then to the face of the one she loved.
"You're...!" she spoke, but the words died before she could say further.
But Wolfgang just smiled and, touching her girlfriend's tearstained face, kissed her forehead. "About time you woke up, Sweetheart" he whispered softly as he held her body tightly against his. "I was afraid you'd never open them again."
"But that was... because I thought you died," she explained inbetween her own tears as she hugged him to her. "I hoped to die myself, so I could stay with you. I didn't want to face the cruel world outside alone. I didn't have the strength or courage to do it anymore."
"And so you chose to rather die than to live without me?" he asked, a worried look now on his face.
"Even if I had my two neighbors and my wacky buddy to stand beside me... it would not be as it was when we left Lisbon" she answered. "Without you guys, it would just be as if we'd never met--just us four girls against the world, the guys in this town would simply mock us mercilessly and we'd try everything in our power to ignore them. But when they simply say that we girls are nothing more than a blind girl and her band of merry seeing sisters, it's... it's an insult that hurts me more than anything.
"I never wanted to fall in love with anyone because of that. The men in this town, they're cold. Heartless. They do not understand.
"You... were the first person... to ever understand me... for ME. Not what anyone else said about me, except for Andy of course. But still. I...
"I had no hope in living if I were to resume my life in the fear that you died and there was nothing I could do to fix that.
"And so, disregarding my three best friends, I simply longed to die. Here, beside you. I waited for you to die, I waited for myself to shut down."
Her boyfriend watched and, as tears filled his eyes, shook his head. "I... can't believe you'd want to do that!" he cried against her shoulder. "I swear, I never meant to cause you tears, to hurt you in any way. You know that, Sweetheart... you know that. You know I'd never want to leave you alone in your misery!"
After a moment of his own sharing of the tears, he looked her in the eyes.
"Rebekah Novalee..." he spoke again, "my heart, it's yours. It's been yours. And I'd rather shut myself down than to ever hurt you in any way whatsoever. I love you much more than you think I do.
"I fought with self-control back in Athens. I'm still fighting to keep it in check, because you inspired me with your honor and innocence, your courage and your self-respect."
He finally took her hands in his and kissed them tenderly, still smiling warmly at her. "One day, Sweetheart, I hope to call you my wife" he admitted. "It's going to happen. I just know it."
His girlfriend's eyes widened. "You... you actually want to marry me!?" she whispered, trying to register everything that was going on at the very moment. There he was, the man she loved, alive and well--being honest that he wanted to marry her!!
He nodded. "Don't forget what I told you on that train to Athens--that you'll always be the first in my heart" he said with a smile.
She smiled back, but only for a moment. "And Wolfgang," she spoke softly, "if you get injured again... I won't be able to heal you, will I?"
"How so, angel?" he asked, his face alarmed.
"When... after the fight ended... when you guys all collapsed due to your injuries, I couldn't use my power. It wasn't working on you guys. It worked on Lilibeth and Annie... but not on you."
"That was because we had to heal on our own" he explained. "We'd turned into full-spirited Mensch-Maschinen but, we had to face our own inner death... our own worst fears... only to come back and, along with it, rightly bear our hearts."
"--wait, heart--you have a heart now!!" she exclaimed with a big hug. "Can I hear its beating for a moment!?"
Wolfgang laughed as his girfriend grinned. But her composure quickly returned and she blinked. "And... I probably won't be able to heal you anymore, will I?"
"I don't know" he said, pulling out his pocket knife and making a little slash on his finger. "Want to test out the theory now?" he then asked, looking to her.
Rebekah took a deep breath and, holding his hand and pressing her lips carefully to the cut on his finger in, perhaps, the boldest move she'd ever made. Closing her eyes she carefully sucked some of the blood that had already spilt down his finger. Wolfgang simply stared in wonder as a light current of energy surged through his finger. After a few seconds more she kissed the now-healed cut, and he ran that finger along her mouth, stunned that she was able to heal him again.
"Didn't... taste like... sprocket oil or anything, I hope?" he asked, making a face.
"Nope" she answered, licking her lips for a second. "Tastes like blood to me." With that she shrugged and smiled. "But at least the theory's now a proven fact."
"Whew!" he replied. "Good. Now that the theory's been proven..."
"Yeahuh?" she asked, raising a brow.
"How about some breakfast?" he said with a smile.
But as she had missed being with him, the last thing she wanted to do was eat. Now that he was alive, she had other plans for the moment.
"Actually... I had other plans in mind" she answered.
"Oh?" he asked, puzzled. "How so? Like what?"
"Well... there's something else I'd rather do with my mouth... like taste something a bit sweeter... that DOESN'T taste like blood..." she said wistfully.
He raised a brow. "Oh really!?"
"Yeah. Really" she answered with a proud smile.
"Like what?"
"Like your sweet mouth!" she said amusingly as she pulled his mouth down to hers. A small smile hid within his own heart as he gladly kissed his beloved--one of surprise over how boldly she'd acted, as well as cheerfully. For him, she was all the more sweeter than he'd ever asked for, the love he felt he didn't deserve yet was rightfully granted.
*writer's note--memory excerpts for Paris and Vienna are from, respectively, Chapter 4 [A Misadventure in Paris] and Chapter 9 [An Early Evening Memory].*
Memories of her boyfriend slumping over... coughing blood in the severity of his wounds... the image brought back the coward in her that once died. Amazing how one person could cause a heart to be joyful... cause a heart to be miserable...
"Wolfgang!" she cried, clasping his hands with one hand while trying to heal one of the new bullet wounds with her other hand. Some sense of emergency had caused her to attempt to get through to him, to fix whatever injuries had arisen. But something was wrong--terribly wrong.
"...Lilibeth, Annie... we've got a big problem" she said in a scared tone of voice, looking to her neighbor and good friend.
"What is it, Rekah?" Anneke asked with an alarmed face.
"I... it seems I can't heal Wolfgang's wounds" she answered. "My power's not working. Something's wrong."
"Oh God" her neighbor whispered as Rebekah pleaded for her boyfriend to stay alive and hang on.
Sitting down on the side of the bed, her gaze fixed to the empty space of the wall. How could anyone suffer what had happened and survive? To her, the concept of pain made absolutely no sense at all. So many thoughts raced through her head, and she wasn't sure if she could keep up with them. And who was she to attempt to stick to even one thought that tried to fly past her?
Her once-full heart now broken, Rebekah turned to face her dying boyfriend. She quietly whispered his name and, after drying some of her own tears away, undid his tie and buttons from his shirt. As she undid the buttons her eyes caught something she hadn't seen since the first night in Paris weeks if not months ago...
"Oh my God... the string... it's still there..." she whispered as she remembered the incident that caused the string to be sewn into the one she loved--
"This" she said as she strung the thread through the needle, "might hurt a little bit."
"It's nothing I'm not worried over, Rebekah" he replied with a weary smile.
With that she took a deep breath and put down the needle and thread for a moment, and poured some antiseptic over him. She closed her eyes, said a quick prayer, and took up the needle and thread again. Opening her eyes, she glanced at his hand, which, miraculously, had the bullet.
"How the hell..." she asked, but shook her head at last. Putting the kit on the table to the side, and placing the bullet in the first-aid pocket, she carefully removed his bloodstained coat, tie and shirt. Placing them at the foot of the bed, she picked up the needle and thread, took one more deep breath, and began to sew up the tear on his skin.
She was very careful in sewing up his wound. Her expertise in being a seamstress for patchwork and sewing up small emblems came as an experience in the concentration camp. She looked at his face, watching for any sign of pain or weakness, careful not to inflict pain unintentionally. A sense of deep worry overcame her and, while she kept a steady hand over the needle and thread, her eyes now fixed over the needle and thread, filling with tears.
"Ah--ah, ouch..." he finally cried out softly, a slight twinge of pain getting to him at last, and she blinked as tears finally spilt.
"Oh my God!!" she cried out, putting aside the needle and thread. "I'm very sorry, Wolfgang!" She reached for the box to hunt down the numbing ice, which she totally forgot about, but he grabbed her hand. She looked at him, blinking.
"...no, it's okay, Rebekah" he said.
"Yes but, you're injured on account of me!!" she answered. "The least I can do is try to fix your wounds!!"
"They will heal on their own. Not so quickly, but they will heal" he replied. "You can remove the needle and the rest of the string now."
She carefully ran her finger along the sewn pattern on his chest, circling around where the wound had once been. She closed her eyes and, leaning over, planted a tender kiss on the old wound, remembering the memory further, how she felt that, if she couldn't help him then she was of no use to him...
"Not really, Rebekah" he answered, pulling her closer to him so he could look her in the eyes. "Not at all."
Rebekah stared into his brown eyes, her own green eyes still drowning in tears. What was it she saw in his eyes, that in her own being she denied herself? Had she fallen for him while she tried to fix him? Did he fall for her because she was brave enough to step out of her comfort zone and actually try to fix whatever wounds he had? Or did his admiration over her begin when they met outside of the Trans-Europa? In any case, whatever was there between them, there was something that couldn't be denied at any instant.
Wolfgang tried to sit up, for despite the pain, he wanted more than anything to kiss her.
"You're not sitting up, damnit!!" she exclaimed. "Not with the wounds you have!!" But he only pulled her closer to him, wrapping her in his arms. While she had the hearted ambition for him, at this point, she was not amused!! But at last, she finally gave up and sighed, just looking at him.
"One thing you must understand about a mensch-maschine is," he said, "when they intend to do something, they do it."
She sobbed quietly against his chest, her own hands gripping his shirt. Why... why did he have to give up his own life so she could live, when there wasn't much meaning to life now that he was gone? She had lost the courage that kept her strong in the face of chaos; he had been the reason why she stood her ground, became the daring woman he fell for as he'd fallen for the cowardly woman-child she once was. But even worse than cowardice was what she felt as failure--failure to heal his injuries, to fix his wounds, to keep him alive.
"I could not save you" she whispered sadly, "I've failed you. I'm so sorry, Wolfgang... I'm so sorry."
She traced the finger along the stringed pattern again, and closed her eyes, another bittersweet memory she soon relived; she recalled the night back in Vienna...
"Rebekah!!"
She turned to see Wolfgang, now at a distance before her. "What happened!?" he asked as he ran to her. "You could've been killed!! What the hell possessed you to just disappear like that!?"
"When..." she said softly, "when you were talking with Andelina. And the girls. And I..."
The semi-human being's face softened from upset to worried. "You got jealous, didn't you?"
She remembered the look on his face, the fear in his own eyes. Fear of losing the one truly good thing in his life. She never meant to wander through the town in her own anger like that, but she couldn't think much else to do otherwise. She gained the courage to open her eyes and, as tears spilt on the string and flesh, shook her head softly. She never meant to cause him pain, yet twice she'd done so. Finally she lied down on the bed beside him, her body facing his, as she held him against her... the memory returning further...
He wrapped his arms around her waist and carried her to the nearest park at the outskirts of the city. With that he sat her down on a park bench as he knelt before her, wiping tears off her cheeks with his hands.
"Es ist gut, Schatz... it's alright, sweetheart" he whispered as he dried her tears and looked up at the pale, rosecheeked face and the bright green eyes that adorned them perfectly. "It's okay... my days of being Mr. Flirtatious have ended the moment I saw you courageously step out from behind your friend that day... at the station..." His train of thought died when he lowered her head to kiss her lips. All was well until he lost his balanced and fell back, pulling Rebekah with him. She fell on top of him blinking, but he didn't wince in pain as he wrapped her in his arms.
"You okay there, Wolfgang?" she asked. He nodded and, with a smile, kissed the tip of her nose. She wiggled her nose, giggling as the mensch-maschine laughed softly.
"I am so much in love with you, Rebekah," he whispered, "so much in love and... there isn't a damn thing to be done to change that."
"You mean this?" she asked, a curious smile crossing her face.
He nodded--"My life and my wires on it, sweetheart."
He'd truly given his life, his wires now worse for wear, entirely all for her. Up until he met her, he'd only thought of himself and his best friends, his fellow Roboter. But then she came into his life... and he miraculously changed for the better. Andelina knew this. Karl witnessed it firsthand. The youngest of the Quartet had been the brightest influence of his very life.
But her light of hope had dimmed as his life faded away before her.
"Wolfgang..." she whispered, "you were always kind to me... you looked out for me like no one else had. You inspired me to be strong, to never back down again.
"I never thought... I'd have to watch you die in front of me.
"So... the great Creator has decided to... to further my misery, to try to test my courage... by having to go through this world without you in my life. But I... I don't want to...
"I don't want to live in this world alone!
"I don't care if we're in Düsseldorf--what all does that matter to me anymore if... if you're not here with me..."
After sobbing to herself some more, she lied down on her back, clasping his hand in hers, and closed her eyes.
"If the Creator wants to take you from me" she mourned, "then don't forget the other half of your soul... please, take me with you..."
Patiently she waited for him to die, waited for her own death to pass beside him.
...but, that did not come to pass.
Morning had broken as Rebekah felt what was as if the reversal of the memory in Vienna, as her cheeks were adorned with kisses. But she wouldn't open her eyes at first to recall the memory, to see who it was on top of her with arms holding her fragile body gently--her eyes still welled up with tears. Yet as the tears fell over the sides of her face she slowly remembered the warmth of his own soul against the courage of her own heart, and she felt her own strength returning at a calm pace.
Carefully trailing a finger down his chest she felt something that made her eyes open wide--string, a pattern sewn on him so familiarly, on his chest. And immediately she glanced to the wound, then to the face of the one she loved.
"You're...!" she spoke, but the words died before she could say further.
But Wolfgang just smiled and, touching her girlfriend's tearstained face, kissed her forehead. "About time you woke up, Sweetheart" he whispered softly as he held her body tightly against his. "I was afraid you'd never open them again."
"But that was... because I thought you died," she explained inbetween her own tears as she hugged him to her. "I hoped to die myself, so I could stay with you. I didn't want to face the cruel world outside alone. I didn't have the strength or courage to do it anymore."
"And so you chose to rather die than to live without me?" he asked, a worried look now on his face.
"Even if I had my two neighbors and my wacky buddy to stand beside me... it would not be as it was when we left Lisbon" she answered. "Without you guys, it would just be as if we'd never met--just us four girls against the world, the guys in this town would simply mock us mercilessly and we'd try everything in our power to ignore them. But when they simply say that we girls are nothing more than a blind girl and her band of merry seeing sisters, it's... it's an insult that hurts me more than anything.
"I never wanted to fall in love with anyone because of that. The men in this town, they're cold. Heartless. They do not understand.
"You... were the first person... to ever understand me... for ME. Not what anyone else said about me, except for Andy of course. But still. I...
"I had no hope in living if I were to resume my life in the fear that you died and there was nothing I could do to fix that.
"And so, disregarding my three best friends, I simply longed to die. Here, beside you. I waited for you to die, I waited for myself to shut down."
Her boyfriend watched and, as tears filled his eyes, shook his head. "I... can't believe you'd want to do that!" he cried against her shoulder. "I swear, I never meant to cause you tears, to hurt you in any way. You know that, Sweetheart... you know that. You know I'd never want to leave you alone in your misery!"
After a moment of his own sharing of the tears, he looked her in the eyes.
"Rebekah Novalee..." he spoke again, "my heart, it's yours. It's been yours. And I'd rather shut myself down than to ever hurt you in any way whatsoever. I love you much more than you think I do.
"I fought with self-control back in Athens. I'm still fighting to keep it in check, because you inspired me with your honor and innocence, your courage and your self-respect."
He finally took her hands in his and kissed them tenderly, still smiling warmly at her. "One day, Sweetheart, I hope to call you my wife" he admitted. "It's going to happen. I just know it."
His girlfriend's eyes widened. "You... you actually want to marry me!?" she whispered, trying to register everything that was going on at the very moment. There he was, the man she loved, alive and well--being honest that he wanted to marry her!!
He nodded. "Don't forget what I told you on that train to Athens--that you'll always be the first in my heart" he said with a smile.
She smiled back, but only for a moment. "And Wolfgang," she spoke softly, "if you get injured again... I won't be able to heal you, will I?"
"How so, angel?" he asked, his face alarmed.
"When... after the fight ended... when you guys all collapsed due to your injuries, I couldn't use my power. It wasn't working on you guys. It worked on Lilibeth and Annie... but not on you."
"That was because we had to heal on our own" he explained. "We'd turned into full-spirited Mensch-Maschinen but, we had to face our own inner death... our own worst fears... only to come back and, along with it, rightly bear our hearts."
"--wait, heart--you have a heart now!!" she exclaimed with a big hug. "Can I hear its beating for a moment!?"
Wolfgang laughed as his girfriend grinned. But her composure quickly returned and she blinked. "And... I probably won't be able to heal you anymore, will I?"
"I don't know" he said, pulling out his pocket knife and making a little slash on his finger. "Want to test out the theory now?" he then asked, looking to her.
Rebekah took a deep breath and, holding his hand and pressing her lips carefully to the cut on his finger in, perhaps, the boldest move she'd ever made. Closing her eyes she carefully sucked some of the blood that had already spilt down his finger. Wolfgang simply stared in wonder as a light current of energy surged through his finger. After a few seconds more she kissed the now-healed cut, and he ran that finger along her mouth, stunned that she was able to heal him again.
"Didn't... taste like... sprocket oil or anything, I hope?" he asked, making a face.
"Nope" she answered, licking her lips for a second. "Tastes like blood to me." With that she shrugged and smiled. "But at least the theory's now a proven fact."
"Whew!" he replied. "Good. Now that the theory's been proven..."
"Yeahuh?" she asked, raising a brow.
"How about some breakfast?" he said with a smile.
But as she had missed being with him, the last thing she wanted to do was eat. Now that he was alive, she had other plans for the moment.
"Actually... I had other plans in mind" she answered.
"Oh?" he asked, puzzled. "How so? Like what?"
"Well... there's something else I'd rather do with my mouth... like taste something a bit sweeter... that DOESN'T taste like blood..." she said wistfully.
He raised a brow. "Oh really!?"
"Yeah. Really" she answered with a proud smile.
"Like what?"
"Like your sweet mouth!" she said amusingly as she pulled his mouth down to hers. A small smile hid within his own heart as he gladly kissed his beloved--one of surprise over how boldly she'd acted, as well as cheerfully. For him, she was all the more sweeter than he'd ever asked for, the love he felt he didn't deserve yet was rightfully granted.
*writer's note--memory excerpts for Paris and Vienna are from, respectively, Chapter 4 [A Misadventure in Paris] and Chapter 9 [An Early Evening Memory].*
Chapter 26: Ein Licht, Das Nie Erlischt [A Light That Never Goes Out] - Elizabeth.
Elizabeth and the girls sat in the waiting room of the Spacelab in Düsseldorf. Never mind the fact they were back home--what all mattered to them when the men they loved were at the mercy of the Creator above? Each other? Of course, but they would be alone. And considering that they were now at home in Düsseldorf, given all the emotional torments they suffered at the hands of men that could've cared less, if the guys died... then what?
"Florian... please tell me you're alright" she begged her beloved as the train swiftly made its course for home. But the Roboter, in his weakened state, could only open his eyes and smile sadly.
"Florian... Florian, please tell me you're alright..."
But he said not a word as his eyes closed and his skin went cold.
"Florian...!?" she whispered, then looking to the other girls feared the worst of the matter. Tears spilled from her eyes, all hope was lost. Finally she looked at the lifeless face of the only man she ever loved... and cried in inexplicable despair.
"FLORIAN!!"
Her eyes reopened, the memory of the fight of the century, the fall of the courageous running through her mind. She looked to her best friend, then to her neighbor, and finally to her younger sister. They all were silent, somber. Professor Henning had advised the girls to wait in the waiting room while the guys recovered--if there was any possible chance of recovery. Quietly, and fed up, she stood up and straightened out her skirt, wiped a few tears from her face, and looked to the other girls.
"Anneke... Rebekah... please look out after Johanne," she instructed.
"Where are you going, Elibeth?" her best friend asked.
"I'm going to cry over a dead soul."
With that she quietly found Florian's room and, as she entered it, closed the door. She went to his bed and, sitting down at the side, looked him over, her eyes taking in the sight of her true love--wires attached to machines at one end, his body at the other. Wounds slowly healing, cuts and scars from the final fight.
"...my God" she whispered, "what has this all done to you?"
Closing her eyes for a moment, she recalled their first staring contest, fearing that she'd never see the blue eyes that challenged her green eyes boldly...
Elizabeth and KW070447 kept their eyes on each other for a while. Finally she spoke. "You know, I'm not one for staring contests."
"Neither am I, liebling," he replied with a polite smile.
"You must be our guardians on the Trans-Europa then" she said. He nodded in reply, took his hand in hers, and kissed it.
"I am Florian" he spoke, his kind gaze now fixed on hers. She smiled.
"Elizabeth Korinn" she introduced herself, then looked to her sister and KW200846. "And over there... my sister Johannes, who was born blind." Florian nodded in acknowledgement, still holding her hand.
She reopened her eyes, drowning in the memory, fixing them to her dying friend.
Taking his hand in both of hers, she kept his eyes on his calm yet lifeless face. For the first time in her life, worse than the death of her parents, she truly felt alone in the world, unable to go any further. She felt unable to stand strong as she once used to.
For the first time in her life, it was as if life was no longer livable.
"Florian," she spoke softly, "I know you can't hear me... yet I only wish you could. I really wish you could hear me, I really just..." For the moment the words died, and all she could do was sigh for a moment before speaking again.
"We're home... in blessed Düsseldorf yet... I am not happy to be home. I don't know if it is even worth returning home anymore. If anything is of any worth. It just...
"This life just doesn't feel so livable anymore."
Closing her eyes again she recalled their first night in Paris, when they had an argument over her fear that the Darkstrom would find them and destroy them all. They argued now and then over that dark and violent fear, but he understood where she was coming from--that she had watched her parents die in the hands of darkness, with no way to help her younger sister whatsoever. But her concern to look out after others were cause for unnecessary verbal fights as well, as she recalled their first night in Venice...
Fed up with his tendency of silence he finally stormed up to her and stood in front of her. She fixed her gaze to his eyes, which was in the meantime fighting tears.
"...Elizabeth, I'm sorry."
"...for what, Florian?" she asked quietly.
"For... for being the bastard that I shouldn't be" he answered, lowering his head. "I didn't mean to push you away and snap at you and act the way I did. I was wrong to do that. And...
"and I'm truly sorry. I just... I just don't deserve you."
Elizabeth blinked and tried to look him in the eyes. "--what?" she whispered.
But Florian shook his head. "Really, Elizabeth... I just... I didn't mean to hurt you the way I did. I...
"I knew better than to have acted like that--and even Ralf knows me damn well I would never do that. Hell, if he heard about what I did today he'd sock me in the jaw and scold me half to death. And I damn well deserve that but..." Finally the words died. "Damnit to hell, I don't know what else to say. I'm miserably in love with the one woman I acted so coldly to. I'm..."
The young woman blinked her eyes at what she was hearing. This wasn't the Florian she knew, who kept quiet about his feelings and often could've cared less about his actions. This... this was the Florian that not even Ralf would've seen.
"Florian..." she whispered, and with a sigh took his hand in one of hers and, with her other hand, lifted his chin so that their eyes met. What she saw had put her speechless--a small river of tears down each cheek, his face pale and filled with remorse. Her heart now broken altogether, she placed his face upon her shoulder, wrapped her arms around him, and consoled him as he wept silently in her arms. Now which pain was worse than enough for him to bear--the pain from the gunshot wound to his arm, or the pain of the heart that he unnecessarily broke?
With a sigh, she spoke again.
"Florian... for most of my life I've been watching out for Johanne, Anya and Rebekah. After the parents were killed it was us four looking out for us. We were captured, sent to Lisbon. Three years of hell later we meet civilization. We knew different people, we were different people then to now.
"But you... I never met anyone else like you.
"The very moment we fixed our eyes on each other I noticed... a sense of silence yet a sense of guardianship. And admiration--a strong sense of admiration.
"One that I... I guess I was a bit cowardish to show myself."
Time out--what was she saying!? Florian blinked for a moment, not believing his ears. Did Elizabeth mean to say that... she had fallen for him as well?
"I always enjoyed your company" she continued sadly. "And you always made sure I was alright, that I would be okay after an attack from the nightmare. You looked out for me when I had a tougher time to even consider looking out for myself when I was more concerned about the others.
"It hurts me even now to admit all this yet..."
...yet? he asked mentally, the tears escaping whatever was truly left of him until all that remained was in the safekeeping of the woman he loved.
She hugged him even tighter as she quietly confessed--
"...yet, I love you too dearly, Florian."
And quietly, she sobbed against his shoulder, her embrace even tighter as she whispered the three words over and over. The mensch-maschine was moved enough to embrace her just as tightly, knowing the pain in her heart was the same he'd felt in his own nerve.
"I am so sorry I hurt you, Elizabeth--" Florian started, but she quickly pressed a finger to his lips, her eyes finally meeting his.
"Really, you can call me Eliza, Florian" was her quiet answer.
The semi-human being was stunned beyond thinking--had her temper finally ceased to burn after all that had just happened? He could only think of one answer as he took a deep breath and, carefully holding her face in his hands, planted a bittersweet kiss on her lips. She blinked but for only a moment, then closed her eyes and smiled a tiny bit into the kiss.
"I... won't forget this" she whispered, remembering the feel of his warm lips against hers in that little kiss. She opened her eyes again and, with one hand, held his hand tightly against her own heart, her other hand carefully touched his cheek. He still felt terribly cold as if in death's final sleep, yet with some strange warmth to him. But the warmth meant nothing to Elizabeth as she ran her fingers along his silent lips. Tears fell down her cheeks again as she looked at him with longing eyes.
"Florian... take my soul with you, please. I love you too much to hurt this way... if you must die, so be it. Just... don't leave me here... don't leave me alone here.
"I can't survive this miserable world alone. Even if I had Johanne and Anneke and Rebekah... I still wouldn't have you. And at this point... you are the one person I'm holding on to the most.
"I don't want to live in this terrible world alone."
When he didn't respond she gave up on the whole matter and leaned over to sob against his chest as she had done many times before in her times of weakness. Holding herself tightly to him she cried the tears that she wouldn't ever tell her parents about if they'd still been alive. For her, losing the one she loved more than anyone else hurt her more than anything.
"Please... don't leave me in this world alone" she cried softly. "Don't... leave me... alone here."
Elizabeth woke up the next morning to dried tears, a warm hand against her back, another still gripping hers tightly. She still had more tears to cry--she'd cried them all night, and still more to spare. But something felt so strange--the hand she held tightly felt warm. She recognized its warmth, its familiarity. His hands were hers to hold, and she slowly turned her head to look into the eyes who'd watched her sleep in tragedy... only to awaken in mysterious hope.
"...Florian?" she whispered, unsure if she was still lost in sleep wide awake as ever.
"Yes, Shortcake?" he answered with a warm smile.
"You're... you're alive... right?"
"Yes, I am, Liebeling."
She blinked for a moment, then smiled softly, still crying the tears that now came in small streams. But Florian in all his love for her hugged her at the waist, moving her face closer to his. With one hand he dried the tears she cried, smiling all the more.
"Florian, you... you wouldn't leave me alone in this world... would you?" she asked in momentary hesitation.
"Never, not even if my wired soul was depending on it. My heart depends more on you, Eliza."
She smiled with a happy sigh, hugging him tightly when she noticed something new, something... special about him... that wasn't there before. She kept her ear against his chest, and tears of joy resumed falling from her eyes.
"What... what is it, Shortcake?" he asked with a slightly alarmed look.
"Your heart... is beating...!" she whispered with a smile. "Florian, you have a heart now!!"
He blinked--wait, a heart!? He put his hand to where his heart was and, behold! he felt a beating, living heart. He had survived the pains of the glitch attacks--he had truly become a Mensch-Maschine in its finest form.
"Wow... that's pretty damn good news!" he laughed gently. Then he took her face in his hands and pressed his forehead against hers. "And I promise, I won't ever leave you alone in this world. Not as long as you don't leave me alone in this world."
But Elizabet simply smiled, her pale-green eyes fixed to Florian's blue eyes. After a moment the two giggled again and she hugged him tightly, basking in the joy of being with him again.
"Sugarplum?" she spoke again after a moment of silence.
"Yes, Shortcake?" he responded.
"I love you" she whispered with a grin.
"I love you too" he whispered back with a kiss.
*writer's notes--memory excerpts are from Chapter 2 [We Are The Robots] and Chapter 13 [A Sense of Understanding].*
"Florian... please tell me you're alright" she begged her beloved as the train swiftly made its course for home. But the Roboter, in his weakened state, could only open his eyes and smile sadly.
"Florian... Florian, please tell me you're alright..."
But he said not a word as his eyes closed and his skin went cold.
"Florian...!?" she whispered, then looking to the other girls feared the worst of the matter. Tears spilled from her eyes, all hope was lost. Finally she looked at the lifeless face of the only man she ever loved... and cried in inexplicable despair.
"FLORIAN!!"
Her eyes reopened, the memory of the fight of the century, the fall of the courageous running through her mind. She looked to her best friend, then to her neighbor, and finally to her younger sister. They all were silent, somber. Professor Henning had advised the girls to wait in the waiting room while the guys recovered--if there was any possible chance of recovery. Quietly, and fed up, she stood up and straightened out her skirt, wiped a few tears from her face, and looked to the other girls.
"Anneke... Rebekah... please look out after Johanne," she instructed.
"Where are you going, Elibeth?" her best friend asked.
"I'm going to cry over a dead soul."
With that she quietly found Florian's room and, as she entered it, closed the door. She went to his bed and, sitting down at the side, looked him over, her eyes taking in the sight of her true love--wires attached to machines at one end, his body at the other. Wounds slowly healing, cuts and scars from the final fight.
"...my God" she whispered, "what has this all done to you?"
Closing her eyes for a moment, she recalled their first staring contest, fearing that she'd never see the blue eyes that challenged her green eyes boldly...
Elizabeth and KW070447 kept their eyes on each other for a while. Finally she spoke. "You know, I'm not one for staring contests."
"Neither am I, liebling," he replied with a polite smile.
"You must be our guardians on the Trans-Europa then" she said. He nodded in reply, took his hand in hers, and kissed it.
"I am Florian" he spoke, his kind gaze now fixed on hers. She smiled.
"Elizabeth Korinn" she introduced herself, then looked to her sister and KW200846. "And over there... my sister Johannes, who was born blind." Florian nodded in acknowledgement, still holding her hand.
She reopened her eyes, drowning in the memory, fixing them to her dying friend.
Taking his hand in both of hers, she kept his eyes on his calm yet lifeless face. For the first time in her life, worse than the death of her parents, she truly felt alone in the world, unable to go any further. She felt unable to stand strong as she once used to.
For the first time in her life, it was as if life was no longer livable.
"Florian," she spoke softly, "I know you can't hear me... yet I only wish you could. I really wish you could hear me, I really just..." For the moment the words died, and all she could do was sigh for a moment before speaking again.
"We're home... in blessed Düsseldorf yet... I am not happy to be home. I don't know if it is even worth returning home anymore. If anything is of any worth. It just...
"This life just doesn't feel so livable anymore."
Closing her eyes again she recalled their first night in Paris, when they had an argument over her fear that the Darkstrom would find them and destroy them all. They argued now and then over that dark and violent fear, but he understood where she was coming from--that she had watched her parents die in the hands of darkness, with no way to help her younger sister whatsoever. But her concern to look out after others were cause for unnecessary verbal fights as well, as she recalled their first night in Venice...
Fed up with his tendency of silence he finally stormed up to her and stood in front of her. She fixed her gaze to his eyes, which was in the meantime fighting tears.
"...Elizabeth, I'm sorry."
"...for what, Florian?" she asked quietly.
"For... for being the bastard that I shouldn't be" he answered, lowering his head. "I didn't mean to push you away and snap at you and act the way I did. I was wrong to do that. And...
"and I'm truly sorry. I just... I just don't deserve you."
Elizabeth blinked and tried to look him in the eyes. "--what?" she whispered.
But Florian shook his head. "Really, Elizabeth... I just... I didn't mean to hurt you the way I did. I...
"I knew better than to have acted like that--and even Ralf knows me damn well I would never do that. Hell, if he heard about what I did today he'd sock me in the jaw and scold me half to death. And I damn well deserve that but..." Finally the words died. "Damnit to hell, I don't know what else to say. I'm miserably in love with the one woman I acted so coldly to. I'm..."
The young woman blinked her eyes at what she was hearing. This wasn't the Florian she knew, who kept quiet about his feelings and often could've cared less about his actions. This... this was the Florian that not even Ralf would've seen.
"Florian..." she whispered, and with a sigh took his hand in one of hers and, with her other hand, lifted his chin so that their eyes met. What she saw had put her speechless--a small river of tears down each cheek, his face pale and filled with remorse. Her heart now broken altogether, she placed his face upon her shoulder, wrapped her arms around him, and consoled him as he wept silently in her arms. Now which pain was worse than enough for him to bear--the pain from the gunshot wound to his arm, or the pain of the heart that he unnecessarily broke?
With a sigh, she spoke again.
"Florian... for most of my life I've been watching out for Johanne, Anya and Rebekah. After the parents were killed it was us four looking out for us. We were captured, sent to Lisbon. Three years of hell later we meet civilization. We knew different people, we were different people then to now.
"But you... I never met anyone else like you.
"The very moment we fixed our eyes on each other I noticed... a sense of silence yet a sense of guardianship. And admiration--a strong sense of admiration.
"One that I... I guess I was a bit cowardish to show myself."
Time out--what was she saying!? Florian blinked for a moment, not believing his ears. Did Elizabeth mean to say that... she had fallen for him as well?
"I always enjoyed your company" she continued sadly. "And you always made sure I was alright, that I would be okay after an attack from the nightmare. You looked out for me when I had a tougher time to even consider looking out for myself when I was more concerned about the others.
"It hurts me even now to admit all this yet..."
...yet? he asked mentally, the tears escaping whatever was truly left of him until all that remained was in the safekeeping of the woman he loved.
She hugged him even tighter as she quietly confessed--
"...yet, I love you too dearly, Florian."
And quietly, she sobbed against his shoulder, her embrace even tighter as she whispered the three words over and over. The mensch-maschine was moved enough to embrace her just as tightly, knowing the pain in her heart was the same he'd felt in his own nerve.
"I am so sorry I hurt you, Elizabeth--" Florian started, but she quickly pressed a finger to his lips, her eyes finally meeting his.
"Really, you can call me Eliza, Florian" was her quiet answer.
The semi-human being was stunned beyond thinking--had her temper finally ceased to burn after all that had just happened? He could only think of one answer as he took a deep breath and, carefully holding her face in his hands, planted a bittersweet kiss on her lips. She blinked but for only a moment, then closed her eyes and smiled a tiny bit into the kiss.
"I... won't forget this" she whispered, remembering the feel of his warm lips against hers in that little kiss. She opened her eyes again and, with one hand, held his hand tightly against her own heart, her other hand carefully touched his cheek. He still felt terribly cold as if in death's final sleep, yet with some strange warmth to him. But the warmth meant nothing to Elizabeth as she ran her fingers along his silent lips. Tears fell down her cheeks again as she looked at him with longing eyes.
"Florian... take my soul with you, please. I love you too much to hurt this way... if you must die, so be it. Just... don't leave me here... don't leave me alone here.
"I can't survive this miserable world alone. Even if I had Johanne and Anneke and Rebekah... I still wouldn't have you. And at this point... you are the one person I'm holding on to the most.
"I don't want to live in this terrible world alone."
When he didn't respond she gave up on the whole matter and leaned over to sob against his chest as she had done many times before in her times of weakness. Holding herself tightly to him she cried the tears that she wouldn't ever tell her parents about if they'd still been alive. For her, losing the one she loved more than anyone else hurt her more than anything.
"Please... don't leave me in this world alone" she cried softly. "Don't... leave me... alone here."
Elizabeth woke up the next morning to dried tears, a warm hand against her back, another still gripping hers tightly. She still had more tears to cry--she'd cried them all night, and still more to spare. But something felt so strange--the hand she held tightly felt warm. She recognized its warmth, its familiarity. His hands were hers to hold, and she slowly turned her head to look into the eyes who'd watched her sleep in tragedy... only to awaken in mysterious hope.
"...Florian?" she whispered, unsure if she was still lost in sleep wide awake as ever.
"Yes, Shortcake?" he answered with a warm smile.
"You're... you're alive... right?"
"Yes, I am, Liebeling."
She blinked for a moment, then smiled softly, still crying the tears that now came in small streams. But Florian in all his love for her hugged her at the waist, moving her face closer to his. With one hand he dried the tears she cried, smiling all the more.
"Florian, you... you wouldn't leave me alone in this world... would you?" she asked in momentary hesitation.
"Never, not even if my wired soul was depending on it. My heart depends more on you, Eliza."
She smiled with a happy sigh, hugging him tightly when she noticed something new, something... special about him... that wasn't there before. She kept her ear against his chest, and tears of joy resumed falling from her eyes.
"What... what is it, Shortcake?" he asked with a slightly alarmed look.
"Your heart... is beating...!" she whispered with a smile. "Florian, you have a heart now!!"
He blinked--wait, a heart!? He put his hand to where his heart was and, behold! he felt a beating, living heart. He had survived the pains of the glitch attacks--he had truly become a Mensch-Maschine in its finest form.
"Wow... that's pretty damn good news!" he laughed gently. Then he took her face in his hands and pressed his forehead against hers. "And I promise, I won't ever leave you alone in this world. Not as long as you don't leave me alone in this world."
But Elizabet simply smiled, her pale-green eyes fixed to Florian's blue eyes. After a moment the two giggled again and she hugged him tightly, basking in the joy of being with him again.
"Sugarplum?" she spoke again after a moment of silence.
"Yes, Shortcake?" he responded.
"I love you" she whispered with a grin.
"I love you too" he whispered back with a kiss.
*writer's notes--memory excerpts are from Chapter 2 [We Are The Robots] and Chapter 13 [A Sense of Understanding].*
04 December 2007
Kapitel 25: Helles und Schwärzung. [Chapter 25: Light and Darkness.]
12 o'clock noon. On board the Trans-Europa. Four half-human robots. Four young women. One conductor. One orphaned boy. The future hope of Eastern Europe.
"They're catching up. This can't be good" Rebekah said as their faces watched the trees, ruins, and chaos fly past them, the Darkstrom troopers hot on their trail as the Trans-Europa sped for home with the gang on board.
"By damn, there's the General!!" Anneke noticed as she glanced through the window, binoculars in hand. "And there's a lot of officers in high rank too!!"
But everyone else sat there, bracing themselves for what would be a final round ahead of them.
After a moment more of thought, Ralf looked to his fellow Roboter and took a deep breath. Reaching into his shirt, he pulled out a small Radio-shaped locket. He looked at it for a moment, wondering if this should be the appropriate moment to see what they're capable of, what they could do. When he looked outside the window at the growing forces of Darkstrom troopers and officers, he was overwhelmed. After glancing to Johannes, who was worried about the safety of all left behind in Athens as well as all on the train, he looked to his best friend and sighed.
"Florian," he said, "I think... I think it's time."
"Ralf, you can't be serious" the flutist remarked. "We don't even know how far ahead we have until we have fully evolved to Mensch-Maschinen! There's no way we'd come out of this alive!!"
"We have no other choice. If we don't do something we'll be in worse matters than worrying about the state of our own health!"
"Ralf Hütter, you've gone mad."
"Then you damn well better think of something. Fast."
Florian glared at his best friend when he presented the challenge. His glance went to Karl and Wolfgang, who looked back.
"I say we annihilate the bastards" Karl said quietly. "And quickly, if we want to stay alive and get home to Düsseldorf."
"But don't forget" Wolfgang chimed in, "we don't know how much we can handle as full-spirited Mensch-Maschinen so, if we're to do anything, we'd better be careful not to overdo ourselves or get worse than wounded."
The flutist sighed, then looked to Ralf. "Alright genius," he said, "you lead, we follow. Happy?"
His best friend simply sighed. "Florian, for once, stop being a stubborn bastard. Guys, let's do this."
Florian shrugged. Karl and Wolfgang nodded, and the four guys each held their Radio lockets. The lockets shone with a small glow, which grew quickly and, in a flash, the guys were dressed in red long-sleeved button-down shirts, black ties and gray pants. They looked different, not exactly the same as their mild-mannered selves were. They had, as if to say, evolved...
from
to
All the while Alessandro watched what was going on. He knew in his heart that the guys would be able to survive the final bout against the Darkstrom, but he also hoped that they would not have to go through the round alone as the mensch-maschinen quickly got their guns and started to make their way a couple of train cars back.
"RALF!!" Johannes called out to him from her seat. "Where are you going!?"
The semi-human being quickly turned and ran back to her. "It's okay, princess" he whispered as he hugged her tightly. "I have to stop the enemy from pestering us any further."
"But what if anything bad happens!?" she asked, her eyes filling with tears.
"Nothing bad will happen, meine liebe Prinzessin, I promise" he said calmly, his bold blue eyes looking into her gray lifeless eyes. "It's okay... we're gonna be alright. I promise."
Sadly sighing, she kissed his hands. "Geben Sie, Ralf acht" she said softly. "Please, please be careful."
"I will" he said as he kissed her forehead. "Ich liebe Dich Johanna."
Tears fell down her cheeks as he kissed her lips farewell. "Ich liebe Dich auch, Ralf -- immer" she replied.
His eyes widened a bit with her words. "Al--always!?"
She nodded. "Always. Always thine. Remember?"
He hugged her tightly as he remembered their little vows, how he promised he was always hers, how she promised she was always his. Releasing her from the hug he kissed her lips one moment more before looking to the girls.
"She's under your care now" he instructed. "Keep her guarded well. Guys, let's go."
And with that the four mensch-maschinen marched onward to the final round.
"Johanne..." her older sister spoke, "how'd you know he was leaving?"
"Because, he promised me..." the blind woman recalled, "that as long as we're both on board this train... he wouldn't let go of my hand. That he'd always be with me."
The women sat in a worrisome silence, fear surging through them. Was it worth it to not simply just sit there, worth getting up to help the ones they loved? To sacrifice their lives for the cause of freedom, in the name of Liberty, for the sake of Eastern Europe? The dread for a while overwhelmed them.
But after a few moments Elizabeth looked to her sister, best friend and neighbor, then to Alessandro, who was quiet. Suddenly an idea came to her, and she looked to Anneke.
"Anopheli," she said, addressing her by an old nickname. The resident jokester looked to her best friend.
"What is it, Elibeth?"
"Get out the guns. We're going in."
"But what about Joseraph!?" chimed in Rebekah regarding to the younger sister.
"I've got just the friend for the task" the older sister answered, looking to the orphan. "Alessandro, come here quickly!"
The young boy glanced to Elizabeth and quickly ran to her. "Yes, Miss Elizabeth?"
"I want you to look out after my sister, please" she begged. "I'll be damned if the guys attempt to fight this alone, and behind every good Mensch-Maschine..."
"Is a just-as-tough Frau-Maschine!!" he finished with a grin.
Elizabeth smiled with surprised eyes to Anneke and Rebekah. "I think he's got us set on maschine-hood someday!"
The neighbor shrugged with a smile. "Hey, in this day and age you never know!"
Alessandro ran to Johannes and explained to her the situation as the girls armed themselves and ran to the car where the guys were.
Meanwhile the guys glared out of the windows, two to each side--Ralf stood beside Florian, while Karl and Wolfgang rounded out the other side. Their train of thought was interrupted, however, by three women dressed in red coats with black coat-fronts and gray skirts. One of them fixed fixed her usual braids in black ribbons instead of her traditional purple ones. The guys blinked and Karl, noting the girl in the black ribbons, spoke up.
"...Sweet Mother of God, no freckin' way."
Anneke grinned to her beloved. "Better believe it."
"But what about Miss Johannes?" Florian asked as Elizabeth stood between him and Ralf.
"Alessandro is with her" she reported. "Fritz is on the communicator with her. She's a big girl. She'll be fine."
"I can't believe you're helping us out, Reki!" Wolfgang said as she stood beside him with Anneke's gun. "I mean, it's jawdroppingly wonderful and whatnot but still... you know, you girls could get killed out here..."
"It's no different from Venice, Vienna, or Paris" she remarked. "When you give it some thought we've been at risk of death all along. But... I'm not afraid to die. If I do die, it's in the name of Eastern Europe, for the cause of freedom. I'm ready." With that she gave him a small smile. "And, I'm a lot stronger than when we first met. I'm the courageous, daring young lady that I am now, because of you.
"Thank you eternally, Sweetheart."
Her boyfriend blushed for a moment when he realized that, she was right--but how!? The thought perished as the youngest of the Quartet lock-and-loaded her gun, her glare now towards the madness outside.
"Lilibeth!! Annie!! I think we know what time it is!!"
Anneke nodded, aiming her back-up gun towards a group of troopers in a carriage. Elizabeth also nodded and, aiming a shotgun at one of the officers, said "Sound it out, Reki-Nova!!"
Rebekah announced, the girls sounding in reply--"Ladies, Game Time--"
"GAME ON!!"
The mensch-maschinen all nodded in agreement, as the fight for Eastern Europe began.
In the meantime as shots began to fire, Alessandro sat with Johannes while Fritz spoke with them through the Übermittler. The orphan wanted to keep watch but the train conductor advised against it, opting instead that the two stick to keeping below the window if they want to see the next sunrise. The blind woman agreed with the conductor, the orphan thought he had a point. That ended the discussion topic as the orphan helped the blind woman to the floor, to keep away from the window.
"Alessandro," Johannes spoke.
"Yes, Miss Johannes?"
"I'm scared. Very, very scared. Not good."
"I know that feeling. Don't worry though. We've got the best guardians in the whole wide world. Your sister, neighbor, good friend, boyfriend, and your boyfriend's best friend and their two best friends too! Things are gonna be alright. You'll see!" he affirmed with a grin.
And how the hell did I wound myself up in this hellhole!? she thought to herself unamusingly--and unimpressed.
"GODDAMNIT!! FLORIAN'S DOWN!!"
Elizabeth stopped firing at enemy troopers for a moment to dodge a bullet as her guardian angel fell back, having been hit in the shoulder. Anneke glanced to Rebekah--"Rekah!! I'll cover ya. Go help Florian!"--and back to the enemy officers she aimed at as the Secret Florence Nightingale of Düsseldorf knelt down to check the wound.
"...not too bad. Very shallow wound" she diagnosed, placing a hand on the wound. "Give it about a minute or two and it should be just fine."
"We ain't got a Goddamn minute, Reks!!" Karl snapped as he dodged another bullet, firing back. "Let's go!!"
"Calm the fuck down, Karl!" Wolfgang retorted. "Just focus on putting the enemy to their eternal rest."
The young percussionist sighed and nodded. "Ja, sorry 'bout that" he said humbly as he fired another shot at an enemy trooper. "I'm just... frustrated, you know?"
"Typical Karl Bartos" his friend replied. "But you gotta hang in there. You've been doin' good on calming down too." The drummer fired a couple of shots into a Darkstrom officer. "I'm impressed and proud of ya."
"Heh... thanks, Sparky" Karl said with an amused smirk.
"Anytime, Short-stuff" Wolfgang answered with a nod and a grin.
Anneke chuckled with a smile to the two as Rebekah ended up with the bullet in her hand and Florian felt as good as new. She helped him up to rejoin the fight and, grabbing her weapon, regrouped with the rest of her team. "Sorry 'bout that, guys" she apologized, firing a couple of shots into the heads of some Darkstrom troopers. "I had to play nurse for a bit."
"Understandable, Reks" replied Karl. "Sorry 'bout my attitude a while ago."
"Forgiven and understandable, Karl" she said kindly. "Right now, I just want to--"
"EVERYBODY DUCK AND COVER!!" Ralf shouted for dear life as he quickly ducked and everyone in the train car followed. Karl huddled his beloved, along with Wolfgang and his girlfriend, in his arms, glaring at the windows.
"The hell are you doing, Karlos!?" Anneke asked, exasperated.
"I swore I'd guard my friends with my life" he answered, looking to her with a loving smile. "I'm keeping my word."
"Now that's guts" complimented Rebekah.
"Agreed" Wolfgang chimed in as above them, from one end of the enemy line, shots were fired just seconds after all had ducked. But the enemy bullets soared across the train car, out the other side's windows, and accidentally hitting their fellow soldiers. Some of the soldiers, hit in the head and heart, fell to their deaths.
"CONDUCTOR HILPERT!!" Elizabeth shouted onto the Übermittler. "If you can hear me above the gunfire I have a request!!"
"What is it, Miss Korinn!?" Fritz asked.
"Get this train going--FULL SPEED AHEAD!!"
"Full Speed Ahead... YOU GOT IT!!" he cheered as he pushed a couple of buttons and pushed the FSA lever forward. The Trans-Europa began to accelerate... faster... faster still.
Alessandro meanwhile poked his head up to look out the window for a moment--and giggled in glee as he ducked again. "There's less than a third of them now, Miss Johannes!" he reported, but Johannes was quietly crying to herself. More than anyone else she wanted desperately to see Ralf, but knew that she couldn't. The orphan boy, sharing in her misery, hugged her tightly in consolation.
"Everyone, let's go!!" Ralf cheered the rest of the gang on as they stood back up to take on the remaining Darkstrom troopers, as they had taken down all of the officers. But as more shots were fired the mensch-maschinen suffered what could only be described as "glitch attacks"--slight problems with their programming which only worsened through time. Pains that only the brave few that underwent the transformation from human to full-spirited Mensch-Maschine suffered. In any case, Ralf's hand wouldn't work right--and the pain surged right through to his head. The pain that Florian underwent from his bullet wounds returned--at an even worse rate, causing him to stop in his tracks. The same happened to Wolfgang for, though he suffered only one bullet wound, he felt the pain, which caused him to cough up blood. Karl felt a burning jolt throughout his body and, trying desperately to move in dodging the bullets, caused himself even more pain. The girls, in a panic, looked to the guys and then to each other.
"I don't like the looks of this!" Rebekah spoke up, reflecting the thoughts of Anneke and Elizabeth as the three tried to help the guys. But in a last ditch effort to combat the glitch attacks the guys stood in harm's way as bullets were fired from the remaining troopers. The girls fired back from between the unlikely safety surrounding them, despite the fear and chaos surrounding them. They had all endured glass cuts and dodged bullets, but this was something that the guys prayed would've never happened to them in front of the girls. The worst thing that the Roboter could ever suffer--watching their loved ones suffer while they're unable to do a thing about the pain they themselves felt.
Courageously the three women took on--and defeated--the last of the entire Darkstrom fleet. But it wasn't until after all the shots had been fired, all was said and done, when the four guys in their worst state tried to stay standing. Karl, in all his pain, collapsed in Anneke's arms while Wolfgang slumped into a chair when Rebekah tried to help keep him up. Elizabeth caught Florian's fall and quickly got herself into a chair with him in her arms, begging him to hang in there.
But Ralf, in all his courage, struggled to stay standing and, keeping himself up along the chairs, tried desperately to reach the door, to run back and see if Johannes was alright. Yet as he coughed out blood from the wounds and his vision blurred, he somehow knew she was alright, but more than anything else at the moment he simply wanted to be with her. And then he heard voices...
"No, I'm going over there!!"
"But Miss Johannes!! What if they're still fighting them!?"
"I don't care! The one I love is there, and I can't just leave him out there alone!!"
As Ralf approached the door it was quickly opened by Johannes, who was followed by Alessandro. The young boy's eyes widened in shock--"Madre Dolce del Dio..." he whispered in his native Italian.
"What... happened?" Johannes spoke in a soft voice, but the girls couldn't say a word.
"Jo--Johanna..." Ralf stammered in his pain, "Are... are you--alright?"
"--yes, are... are you, Ralf?"
"Just... barely... my..." --but his words stopped short as he stumbled. Unaware of what went on the blind woman stepped a couple of paces forward, arms open in a longing to hug him. The mensch-maschine in his weakness too had his arms open, wanting just as much to hug her. Yet as he hurried to her, in all his pain--
"Johannes--"
he collapsed into her arms, her name being the last word to have escaped his lips. Sitting on the floor carefully, with Alessandro's help, she took her true love in her arms and realized his warmth was dying, that he began to feel cold as ice. The orphan meanwhile ran to tell Fritz what all had happened, and the conductor kept full speed ahead to hurry them to the Spacelab in Düsseldorf in hopes that the four brave Roboter might be saved.
"Oh my God..." she whispered, "what happened... what happened to you!?"
But no words were needed as the girls began to cry over their loved ones--Rebekah unable to heal their wounds for some unknown reason, Anneke feeling the pain of her first lost love, Elizabeth hurting over the possibility of losing her loving rival, Johannes in her fear of realizing that she had just lost her true love.
01 December 2007
Chapter 24: Versuchung. [Temptation.]
Rebekah took a much-needed shower before calling it an evening, considering all the insanity she had just survived. After arriving at the station she helped the four mensch-maschinen unpack and settle for the night, assisted Fritz in registering Alessandro as a fellow semi-human being on the roster, cooked dinner for the gang in the hideout's kitchen--in which her only flaw was that she didn't cook enough and thus gave her plate to Alessandro, and brushed up on her Greek outside while everyone opted to talk amongst themselves. The youngest of the women, however, opted to busy herself with some knowledge of the ancient city and refresh her memory of the language she once learned as a child but had since forgotten. After all of this, she was quite the mess and, not wanting to go to bed in such a wreck, went for a warm shower.
In her quiet demeanor she emerged out of the bathroom wearing her dark-blue night skirt and, which she never really wore, a blue sleeveless corset which her neighbors' mother had made for her birthday some years back. At first the youngest of the Quartet swore to herself she'd never wear something so daring, no matter how pretty it was. Yet the memory of her neighbors' mother provided enough reason for her to wear the corset. A lopsided smile crossed her face as she tried it on and saw her reflection in the mirror just moments before she exited the bathroom.
Daaammmn, Reki-Nova! she thought to herself, that actually looks and fits and feels pretty damn good!!
Going to the mirror in the room she stayed with Wolfgang in, she fought with her damp red hair and, fixing it into a loose bun, secured it with bobby-pins. The city lights from outside illumined the dark room with a bright glow, which reflected in her emerald-green eyes. Afterwards she grabbed her book on Greece from the nightstand, sat down on the bed, and, turning on the bedside lamp, read for a while.
Wolfgang, who had fallen asleep while she was in the shower, blinked his eyes open when he noticed he wasn't alone. Turning his head he saw Rebekah and, in his shock, didn't say a word. His eyes were fixed on the redhead sitting next to him, knees hugged to her chest, bright red hair in a makeshift bun, her own eyes fixed to the book she was reading. But what shocked him was what she wore--he never thought to see her in a corset, of all things!! Yet... it fascinated him at the least, at most shocked him to the nerve.
After reading for a while she put the book on the bedside table, turned off the lamp, and simply sat on the bed, hugging her knees to her chest. The Roboter kept his eyes on her, but she knew she was being watched.
"Johanne's mother made the top for me years ago" she spoke quietly. "At first, back then, I swore to myself that I'd never wear something so out-of-character. But it's been years since I saw this. This is the first time I actually wore this.
"I'm a little beside myself that I actually fit well into this."
"Well" her boyfriend said hesitantly, "it's... well, it suits you well."
She gave a small smile. "Thank you" she said.
After more conversation she lied down on the bed and, closing her eyes, attempted to sleep. But her companion, now unwilling to sleep, kept his eyes on his unlikely temptress. How could an outfit turn a panic-happy young woman into a green-eyed redhead devil in a blue dress!? ...or, something close to it. In any case, there fell the problem with something inside of him called self-control.
"...so help me God, my heart is overwhelmed" he whispered as he trailed a finger along her cheek, along her mouth, down her chin and her neck. But even that did no justice to his admiration, and quickly gave in his own silent whim, he held the sleeping redhead in his arms and kissed her along the trail his finger had once led.
--sweet Mother of God!?
Rebekah's eyes darted open, the thought crossing her mind as her dream was distorted, she never expected Wolfgang to do this to her! And worst of it, he was shirtless!! But she said not a word and held him to her as he trailed kisses along her shoulders.
However, exhausted from the day, it got the better of the semi-human being, and he rested his head over her heart and closed his eyes, trying to fall asleep. But his girlfriend simply held him to her, face to the window, wondering what went on in his mind... was it something she did? She couldn't be too sure. The thought trailed on as she closed her eyes once more in sleep.
Morning broke in a quiet manner as Rebekah took her early-morning shower. She really wasn't thinking about waking up at the earliest moment as she usually did, but her mental and physical clock wouldn't allow much time for sleeping in. But inasmuch as she had to wake up, she couldn't. She didn't want to--not after the second attempt at sleep, which failed after about an hour, when Wolfgang woke up once more to kiss her. First time around, she hadn't reacted much. But that time, the moment his lips met hers she opened her eyes then and there for a moment. He'd held her hands above her head, clasped them tightly for a moment before letting them go and holding her body next to his. The next handful of minutes were a blur--she felt his hands warm against her, she felt his kisses through her dark blue outfit. But whatever else happened... was a blur. All she felt were his hands, his lips.
His inner struggle to keep his self-control.
She hugged herself tightly. No one had even dared to consider doing that to her. But she never guessed that the one man that she'd ever love would try to love her the way he did. She still had her innocence. And it took everything in his power to keep his self-control, knowing he'd never thought of her the way he did. But it must've been something she did to make him want her the wzy he did also. It chilled her to the nerve to think that someone could love her this way--it also warmed her soul to know that there was no other person she'd known that could do this to her. For that, she smiled a bit as she finished her shower and shut off the water.
Wolfgang blinked his eyes open to see that he was alone a moment later, but his eyes caught through the slightly open doors to both their room and the bathroom that she was busy preparing for the long day ahead. But the sight of her was what made his eyes widen in even more shock, and he buried his face in his pillow for a moment.
Bloody hell, Wolfgang!! he mentally scolded himself. Reki. In a towel. And nothing freckin' else!? This was quite more than enough torture for him. Finally after another few minutes' thought he got up and took matters to his own hands. Within seconds he was in the bathroom with her.
"Guten morgen, Wolfgang" the young woman spoke with a smile to him. "How'd you sleep?"
He raised a brow. "Now hold up just one minute, sweetheart" he replied with a smirk. "I'm not the one who turned into Princess Temptation last night!"
She blinked for a moment--Okay, NOW I know what's up! she thought to herself, and spoke up in humble defense:
"Well now does it look like I knew that a rare out-of-character moment out of me would challenge your self-control?"
She grinned to herself, proving her point. But the mensch-maschine wouldn't have any of it and quietly, quickly closed the door. Her face then turned solemn in a moment of questioning, which she gladly would've done had he not held her face in his hands and lowered his head to kiss on the lips. For a second, she would gladly have lacked common sense to have him that moment, but while there was chaos outside waiting to destroy them she had a job to do--for the sake of Eastern Europe and, even more importantly, for the sake of the people she loved so dearly. Yet her common sense returned as she held him at the waist and, while she knew her purpose and responsibility as a Clandestinian, she realized also what was happening this moment. And she would've gladly kept this going, had it not been for the chaos outside the safe walls.
Yet she could've sworn common sense had numbed when his lips trailed down her cheek... down her neck... --she had felt this before. But this feeling was even stronger than the night before, she hadn't realized what she had done to him and, ultimately, to herself. She took one deep breath, eyes to the window for a moment before looking to Wolfgang again, who now on his knees had taken her fragile body into his arms and kissed along her chest through her towel.
Again the eyes went for the window, but her train of random thoughts quickly derailed as her boyfriend resumed kissing her down her body. Not wasting another moment she held his face in her hands and lifted his humble face to her courageous own.
"Wolfgang..." she whispered, "I can't. Not here."
His face sobered to understanding. "Not... not now?"
"No, not now. Not here. Perhaps... when we all return safely home to Düsseldorf. But... while our lives are still hanging on strong-yet-thin threading, my heart be gladly yours but... not now. And not here."
Wolfgang hugged her tightly as she planted kisses along his shoulder. "Please, please be patient" she begged in a hushed whisper. "Please be patient. For me. Please?"
"For you, if I have to wait for ever, just say the very word and it's done" he whispered back. "Just as my heart is yours. Gladly and entirely yours."
Her head was dizzy after all she'd been through the past few hours, but she smiled with a level heart and held him to her. "I know I am willing but," she admitted, "not while we're still in harm's way and nowhere near home."
The two shared a small smile until--
*PHWOOOOOOWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!*
A loud siren wailed throughout the city, and Wolfgang stood up, looking around. Then he looked to Rebekah. "Quick shower, and then we see what's happened?" he asked.
"You go ahead," she answered. "I'm gonna go get dressed."
Within five minutes the word had arrived that the Darkstrom and Clandestinian forces had clashed, and that the enemy forces were to arrive shortly to storm the city. The gang all met in the kitchen and, looking to Rebekah, asked what she thought the best course of action would be.
She closed her eyes again, deep in thought, before reopening them and taking a deep breath. Her bright face was set with resolve and, after everything that had happened the night before and all that went on a few minutes ago, she realized that now was their only shot to escape home to Düsseldorf.
"Pack up, and quickly" she warned. "We need to be on that train in fifteen minutes."
In her quiet demeanor she emerged out of the bathroom wearing her dark-blue night skirt and, which she never really wore, a blue sleeveless corset which her neighbors' mother had made for her birthday some years back. At first the youngest of the Quartet swore to herself she'd never wear something so daring, no matter how pretty it was. Yet the memory of her neighbors' mother provided enough reason for her to wear the corset. A lopsided smile crossed her face as she tried it on and saw her reflection in the mirror just moments before she exited the bathroom.
Daaammmn, Reki-Nova! she thought to herself, that actually looks and fits and feels pretty damn good!!
Going to the mirror in the room she stayed with Wolfgang in, she fought with her damp red hair and, fixing it into a loose bun, secured it with bobby-pins. The city lights from outside illumined the dark room with a bright glow, which reflected in her emerald-green eyes. Afterwards she grabbed her book on Greece from the nightstand, sat down on the bed, and, turning on the bedside lamp, read for a while.
Wolfgang, who had fallen asleep while she was in the shower, blinked his eyes open when he noticed he wasn't alone. Turning his head he saw Rebekah and, in his shock, didn't say a word. His eyes were fixed on the redhead sitting next to him, knees hugged to her chest, bright red hair in a makeshift bun, her own eyes fixed to the book she was reading. But what shocked him was what she wore--he never thought to see her in a corset, of all things!! Yet... it fascinated him at the least, at most shocked him to the nerve.
After reading for a while she put the book on the bedside table, turned off the lamp, and simply sat on the bed, hugging her knees to her chest. The Roboter kept his eyes on her, but she knew she was being watched.
"Johanne's mother made the top for me years ago" she spoke quietly. "At first, back then, I swore to myself that I'd never wear something so out-of-character. But it's been years since I saw this. This is the first time I actually wore this.
"I'm a little beside myself that I actually fit well into this."
"Well" her boyfriend said hesitantly, "it's... well, it suits you well."
She gave a small smile. "Thank you" she said.
After more conversation she lied down on the bed and, closing her eyes, attempted to sleep. But her companion, now unwilling to sleep, kept his eyes on his unlikely temptress. How could an outfit turn a panic-happy young woman into a green-eyed redhead devil in a blue dress!? ...or, something close to it. In any case, there fell the problem with something inside of him called self-control.
"...so help me God, my heart is overwhelmed" he whispered as he trailed a finger along her cheek, along her mouth, down her chin and her neck. But even that did no justice to his admiration, and quickly gave in his own silent whim, he held the sleeping redhead in his arms and kissed her along the trail his finger had once led.
--sweet Mother of God!?
Rebekah's eyes darted open, the thought crossing her mind as her dream was distorted, she never expected Wolfgang to do this to her! And worst of it, he was shirtless!! But she said not a word and held him to her as he trailed kisses along her shoulders.
However, exhausted from the day, it got the better of the semi-human being, and he rested his head over her heart and closed his eyes, trying to fall asleep. But his girlfriend simply held him to her, face to the window, wondering what went on in his mind... was it something she did? She couldn't be too sure. The thought trailed on as she closed her eyes once more in sleep.
Morning broke in a quiet manner as Rebekah took her early-morning shower. She really wasn't thinking about waking up at the earliest moment as she usually did, but her mental and physical clock wouldn't allow much time for sleeping in. But inasmuch as she had to wake up, she couldn't. She didn't want to--not after the second attempt at sleep, which failed after about an hour, when Wolfgang woke up once more to kiss her. First time around, she hadn't reacted much. But that time, the moment his lips met hers she opened her eyes then and there for a moment. He'd held her hands above her head, clasped them tightly for a moment before letting them go and holding her body next to his. The next handful of minutes were a blur--she felt his hands warm against her, she felt his kisses through her dark blue outfit. But whatever else happened... was a blur. All she felt were his hands, his lips.
His inner struggle to keep his self-control.
She hugged herself tightly. No one had even dared to consider doing that to her. But she never guessed that the one man that she'd ever love would try to love her the way he did. She still had her innocence. And it took everything in his power to keep his self-control, knowing he'd never thought of her the way he did. But it must've been something she did to make him want her the wzy he did also. It chilled her to the nerve to think that someone could love her this way--it also warmed her soul to know that there was no other person she'd known that could do this to her. For that, she smiled a bit as she finished her shower and shut off the water.
Wolfgang blinked his eyes open to see that he was alone a moment later, but his eyes caught through the slightly open doors to both their room and the bathroom that she was busy preparing for the long day ahead. But the sight of her was what made his eyes widen in even more shock, and he buried his face in his pillow for a moment.
Bloody hell, Wolfgang!! he mentally scolded himself. Reki. In a towel. And nothing freckin' else!? This was quite more than enough torture for him. Finally after another few minutes' thought he got up and took matters to his own hands. Within seconds he was in the bathroom with her.
"Guten morgen, Wolfgang" the young woman spoke with a smile to him. "How'd you sleep?"
He raised a brow. "Now hold up just one minute, sweetheart" he replied with a smirk. "I'm not the one who turned into Princess Temptation last night!"
She blinked for a moment--Okay, NOW I know what's up! she thought to herself, and spoke up in humble defense:
"Well now does it look like I knew that a rare out-of-character moment out of me would challenge your self-control?"
She grinned to herself, proving her point. But the mensch-maschine wouldn't have any of it and quietly, quickly closed the door. Her face then turned solemn in a moment of questioning, which she gladly would've done had he not held her face in his hands and lowered his head to kiss on the lips. For a second, she would gladly have lacked common sense to have him that moment, but while there was chaos outside waiting to destroy them she had a job to do--for the sake of Eastern Europe and, even more importantly, for the sake of the people she loved so dearly. Yet her common sense returned as she held him at the waist and, while she knew her purpose and responsibility as a Clandestinian, she realized also what was happening this moment. And she would've gladly kept this going, had it not been for the chaos outside the safe walls.
Yet she could've sworn common sense had numbed when his lips trailed down her cheek... down her neck... --she had felt this before. But this feeling was even stronger than the night before, she hadn't realized what she had done to him and, ultimately, to herself. She took one deep breath, eyes to the window for a moment before looking to Wolfgang again, who now on his knees had taken her fragile body into his arms and kissed along her chest through her towel.
Again the eyes went for the window, but her train of random thoughts quickly derailed as her boyfriend resumed kissing her down her body. Not wasting another moment she held his face in her hands and lifted his humble face to her courageous own.
"Wolfgang..." she whispered, "I can't. Not here."
His face sobered to understanding. "Not... not now?"
"No, not now. Not here. Perhaps... when we all return safely home to Düsseldorf. But... while our lives are still hanging on strong-yet-thin threading, my heart be gladly yours but... not now. And not here."
Wolfgang hugged her tightly as she planted kisses along his shoulder. "Please, please be patient" she begged in a hushed whisper. "Please be patient. For me. Please?"
"For you, if I have to wait for ever, just say the very word and it's done" he whispered back. "Just as my heart is yours. Gladly and entirely yours."
Her head was dizzy after all she'd been through the past few hours, but she smiled with a level heart and held him to her. "I know I am willing but," she admitted, "not while we're still in harm's way and nowhere near home."
The two shared a small smile until--
*PHWOOOOOOWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!*
A loud siren wailed throughout the city, and Wolfgang stood up, looking around. Then he looked to Rebekah. "Quick shower, and then we see what's happened?" he asked.
"You go ahead," she answered. "I'm gonna go get dressed."
Within five minutes the word had arrived that the Darkstrom and Clandestinian forces had clashed, and that the enemy forces were to arrive shortly to storm the city. The gang all met in the kitchen and, looking to Rebekah, asked what she thought the best course of action would be.
She closed her eyes again, deep in thought, before reopening them and taking a deep breath. Her bright face was set with resolve and, after everything that had happened the night before and all that went on a few minutes ago, she realized that now was their only shot to escape home to Düsseldorf.
"Pack up, and quickly" she warned. "We need to be on that train in fifteen minutes."
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